So, I would like to say that in this interlude of several days I have canned, froze and cooked to my heart's content and stored up all sorts of goodies for the coming winter months. Well, in reality I spent most of the time throwing my guts up while the fresh garden offerings sat on the kitchen floor. *sigh*
And no, I'm NOT pregnant! I just connected what I was typing to the title of this post. No, ya'll know better than that. I will say though, that the rest of this post will contain disgusting references to female physiology, so if any of you guys get really uncomfortable around that subject, then I suggest you stop reading now.
Now, my longtime readers know I have a couple of physical "abnormalities" that affect me occasionally; one being my heart and the other, well, my whole female system. LOL! I've never been quite right in that regard and have always had a few problems. Lately I've been having a few new... issues, let's say. So, I go to my doctor. He listens to me. He rubs his chin thoughtfully and says well, "it sounds like your ovaries are just giving out." What? Excuse me? Giving out?? Nothing on me 'gives out' until I'm done with it! I protested. I'm too young for that. "Weeelll," he says, while subtly leaning out of my reach, "not really..." He goes on to explain that the average age of complete menopause is 50 and many women start experiencing symptoms in their mid-40's, especially women with my, uhh, physical makeup. Holy Smokes. This sucks. I still haven't come to terms with not being in my 30's anymore!!
So, he asks me if I want to try a little natural estrogen to ease things a little, let's say. Well, considering the fact that I really would hate to choke Jack to death in his sleep one night I thought maybe I would give it a try, despite my natural distrust of any prescription medication. And after a couple of doses I felt a little better. Then the nausea started. I'll spare you the details but Jack was calling the pharmacy every 15 minutes asking if my doctor had called in that prescription for Zofran yet. I don't know if that finally helped or if I just passed out from the fatigue of constant puking. At any rate, I won't be taking that route again. I'm feeling a bit better today and actually canned a few pints of salsa I made from my fresh tomatoes, but this whole thing just sucks.
I'm not sure why it bothers me so bad. I have never enjoyed birthdays either. At least, not after the age of 20. I think such things just remind me that my time is running out and I haven't accomplished all I want to yet. I don't look disparagingly at older women. I don't feel that they are any less of a woman. It's just me. I don't want to be the wise, old gentlewoman. I want to be the fierce Amazon that strikes fear in the hearts of men! Or strike some part of their anatomy anyway..
So. Bleh. I know I'm still mostly young and all that dogshit, but what a pisser.