Thursday, December 14, 2017

Smiling Faces

So, I'm gonna try to explain a few tings that have been going on lately and I have other reasons for posting this also, as I'll also explain.  Due to the nature of things I want a public record of what is going on for my own security.  Now, this is concerning the next to last post I made where I mentioned a former friend that I was trying to help and that it had turned into a possibly dangerous situation.  I mentioned several posts back that a certain elderly neighbor, that I have know for a long time and written about many times here on this blog, had a significant stroke and I had been helping him every morning, along with Allen helping him.  In fact, Allen and I have waited on this guy hand and foot for the last 13 years since his family mostly has nothing to do with him.  The last few years it's mostly been Allen, due to my health problems, but he didn't need a lot of intense help until this stroke.  So, after 2 months or more of helping this guy, washing his butt when he couldn't bathe himself, feeding him, cooking for him and all kinds of other stuff, he actually made a significant recovery.  He's able to cook and feed himself, take a shower etc.  So, one day when I'm up there helping tidy up and stuff, he starts asking me all kinds of questions about my oldest brother; the brother that many of you long-time readers know committed suicide.  So, I was baffled as to why he was asking about him but I answered the questions; yes, Jerry died while we were sharing an apartment (but did not die in the apartment).  Yes, Jerry left his possessions to me...which we had to mostly sell to pay for his funeral etc.  So, then this old fart says, "well, that was all pretty convenient for you!" and proceeds to tell me I killed my brother... Now, I don't think I have to explain how hideous a thing that is to say to someone that has survived the suicide of someone they love dearly.  That was 24 years ago and I've learned to live with his death but that's a scab that is very easily knocked off.  I was so horrified and shocked at what he was saying that I just freaked out and left quickly.  It has upset me to no end.  I can't even begin to describe the horrible emotions that drags up. Then, the next day Neighbor PsychoPants tells Allen that, not only did I kill my brother (to get a few boxes of china and knickknacks), but that I am trying to kill him, so that I can steal all his stuff.  In fact, he is so convinced (delusional), that he made Allen take him down to his pharmacy 3 different times so he can show his prescription meds to the pharmacist in hopes that the druggist would tell him that yes, his drugs had been tampered with.  Of course, they had not and one pill that he was just SURE was a poison turned out to be an OTC stool softener that he had bought himself.  I'm sure the pharmacist got a good laugh out of that.  But this doesn't stop him.  He has been going around telling other folks in town that I am trying to kill him and/ or I am stealing his stuff, I am robbing him and so on.  This to the point that the one woman that's brave enough to go in his house actually "friended" me on Facebook, so she could spy on me I guess.  He can't see what I do there and she sent me the request immediately after visiting him, so I know he put her up to it.  Of course I accepted the request just to let her see that I'm NOT doing anything.  (I sell some stuff I make etc. on FB and he's convinced that I'm selling his stuff that I steal).  Like I'd be that stupid.
Now, I understand that PsychoPants is emotionally unstable, mentally deranged, whatever you want to say.  He has been a serious hoarder all his life, so that right there shows he has mental problems.  The stroke and his uncontrolled diabetes has further affected his mind.  A MRI done right after his stroke showed huge swelling or a mass on his brain that the doctors later said was nothing...Ugh yeah.  However, his ability and understanding to hide this behavior around most people or certain people shows me that he knows what he is doing to a certain extent.  A truly crazy person is crazy all the time.  They don't know to hide it.  He does know and knows very well how to appear to be the poor little, frail elderly man that everyone ignores.  Well, we found out why his family never has anything to do with him.  He has accused all of them of all the same things.  And in my opinion...a person doesn't think up hideous shit like this unless they have thought it or done it themselves...

So, here's why I am writing about this.  He has gone around telling folks in this town a bunch of lies that I am stealing from him, trying to kill him etc.  Now, I know a lot of folks would just write it off to dementia or so and tell me to do the same.  BUT, a lot of folks would not.  People these days will believe anything under the right circumstances.  A couple of hours on Facebook will prove that.  I don't know what people are believing or not but I do know that some local folks do read this blog and I want a public record of what really has transpired and that I have totally cut out any contact with this person in an effort to protect myself.  Even if he called me to come help him, I could not safely do so for fear that he could/ would call the police once I got there and say I was assaulting him or something.  He is that mean and hateful. I have given back all my keys, blocked him on Facebook, I have no contact with him, I do not go over there.. nothing.. and I want that known.  He has threatened several times to call the police and I have no idea what he is going to do from one day to the next.  Of course, he has absolutely no proof because I have not been doing anything but that doesn't matter to him.  He says the cops should believe what he says just because he says it.  Now, yes, I know most police could tell after a few minutes that he has dementia and stuff but it still scares me.  He is extremely hateful and is SO obsessed with his garbage and stuff that he actually thinks someone would want it.  He is your typical hoarder whose house is filled with junk, basically.  To the point it is deteriorating and rats, exposure, neglect, snakes and a whole bunch of other stuff has rendered most things in his house to be worthless, rotted crap.  There's nothing there that anyone would want.

So, I don't know what else to do.  He went on another tirade today telling Allen that I was breaking into his house while he was gone and threatening to call the cops. Turns out I was also gone during that time period delivering some shelves and doing some carpenter work for some friends.  I've done everything I can to stay as far away from him as I can but I basically still live "next door" to him, although it's about a quarter mile.  I don't know what else to do to prove or make a record that I have no contact with him and never want to again.  I am keeping a journal of sorts on days he goes nuts and what I was doing that day etc.  Other than that and this...I don't know what else to do to protect myself.

So, that's Part 1.  Part 2 will come a little later.  Ha!


Practical Parsimony said...

Good grief! Document your hours you spend elsewhere. The pharmacist should be a good defender of you and witness to his dementia. I think Allen should stay away, too. Have the police do a welfare check. They can attest to the state of his house--dangerous. When he starts accusing him of stealing, that pretty much helps your case. Dementia can be worse at times than others. My grandmother seemed sane some of the time, and then accused me, a child of stealing a piece of material from her that I had used to make a garment for me. She just flipped sometimes.

A uti can cause symptoms of dementia, too.

Do you think he might have a gun? Allen could be ambushed, even with a knife. He needs help but I don't think either of him can give him the help he needs now.

I had someone turn on me like that, however, I backed out of the person's life after only a few days. I do NOT need accusations like that. There are people who are equipped to handle his problems.

This is a horror, especially since he has dragged your dead brother into this situation. He may need to be removed to a safer environment.

Good luck. Call me if you will.

Ed said...

I think you did the right thing by cutting all ties to the man. I guess I wouldn't get so worried about what he tells other people about me. Those that are my friends would know they aren't true and those that would believe them, well, they probably weren't people I would be friends with anyway. And things like this tend to heal (i.e. are forgotten) with time.

Wishing you the best of luck in this situation and stay safe. Twenty years ago I wouldn't worry about safety but these days, any situation like this has me worried.

MamaHen said...

Hey Linda! Well, we went through all this, with him doing the same to Allen, about 8-10 months ago. He just goes from person to person. I don't think he accused Allen of killing another person though. He has just really latched onto my brother and all that and is sure I killed him. He never took time to find out that my brother was almost in another state when he died. They found his body close to Georgia; I was in Birmingham and no one knew where he was. But none of that matters to PsychoPants.
Now, Allen is his best buddy. Only because no one else will have anything to do with him. Allen stays away as much as possible. Only helping when absolutely needed. He does not have a gun and is too puny to try to attack Allen. He is basically a huge coward also and so frail he's never try something like that. Allen is just basically waiting for him to get so wild he has to be put in a home,I guess. We are just not sure what to do. Allen has spoken to his family and they said they don't want to get involved.

Hey Ed! Yeah, that's the thing; these days you never know what could happen and the fact he was able to convince that one woman to "spy" on me is proof some folks might believe him. Of course, any investigation would prove he's nuts....but I don't need this shit. Especially after so many years of honestly trying to help him.

Hermit's Baby Sis said...

Best of luck with this one, Annie. Something no one needs in their life is a "friend" like this one.

Blackland Prairie said...

I’m so sorry you’ve been going through all this Annie, especially with your health problems, you don’t need the added stress. I agree with the others, you did the smart thing and moved quickly to separate yourself from the situation.
My mom has been in the hospital again and we’re just getting her home and settled but I’ll be in touch with you soon. Take care of yourself and be careful! It’s scary that he obsessing about you like this.


MamaHen said...

Hey sis! Thanks! I'll be okay. I'm making sure to document everything and he's not got a leg to stand on.

Hey Vonne! Take your time hon. Hope your Mom is doing well and that you and Glen are also well. Ya'll take care.

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled across your blog, but I think you and Alan should both stay away from him. When he gets to the point that he "really" needs something, call Adult Protective Services and let them get involved. They can arrange in home assistance for him and/or involve authorities to deem his home unlivable or him unable to care for himself and relocate him. I doubt any in home assistance would last long, but it WOULD give added documentation to prove everything.

Best of luck!

MamaHen said...

Hey T! Great idea! thanks so much for mentioning that. I had not thought of Adult Protective Services. That may be the ticket. We have tried to help him get a housekeeper several times but they come once, then never come back. It's just too nasty. Thanks again.