Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Crabsody In Blue

   I'll warn you straight off the bat that this is going to be a rant.  And it will probably contain some ugly language.  You know, I realize I get cranky sometimes when I'm hurting but if one more person tells me that I'll just feel all better when I "go back to work", I'm gonna knock the livin' shit out of them.  You'll feel better when you go back to work...you just need to work.....when are you going back to work?....  No, I'll feel better when I knock the livin' shit out of you.
   First off, this is one of the most idiotic statements I've ever heard.  If you feel bad due to injury or illness, rest is what makes you feel better.  Right?  Not driving almost an hour one way to some town job when your ass hurts so bad you can't stand to sit for long periods, "working" some job and then driving that hour home.  Of course, I know activity does often help, as does getting out a bit, but it implies that I feel bad because I've apparently become so depressed and lazy laying around all day.  I feel bad in my mind, not in my body because you know, if it was my body actually the problem, well then rest would help.. 
   As many of ya'll know I've been working on a restoration job lately, which I'm really enjoying and happy to be doing, but has it made me all bouncy and pain free??  Hell no.  I hurt like shit sometimes.  Still.

Secondly, it implies that I've been laying on my ass the past 2 1/2 years, not working.  You know, I don't know what it is about people that they want to insist if you work at home you are not really working.  I suspect it has a lot to do with jealousy that they don't have the back bone to work a job that makes them happy or they let somebody ruin their life by bullying them out of a job they really wanted.  Gotta conform!!!  Gotta do work like everybody else where you hate your job and can't wait for the weekend!!  Yes, the truth is out...I've laid on my ass this whole time.  I have no idea how two loads of pottery makes it into Birmingham every 30 days about and the garden gets planted and worked and harvested and the animals looked after.  And if people don't think that's work then they need to come spend a couple days with me, especially in this summer heat.  They'll be running back to those weeny office jobs in no time.  Granted, I do not work like I used to (not yet) and Jack does a lot of work around here to take up slack for me.  I used to do 3 loads of pottery a month or more.  At times the garden gets let go a little and I've not put up as much food as I would have liked to, so I'll be the first to admit I'm not as productive as I would like.  But I thought a job was something you made money from and I get 1-3 checks a month from my sales.  But it's apparently not a "real" job.  It's not work, because hey!!  work makes you feel good!!  It miraculously unfuses the vertebrae in your neck.  Well, that or it makes you vomit from your head hurting so bad because you worked on something overhead for just a little too long. 

I'm not really sure where it comes from or when it started but our society has a real problem when it comes to people who have physical issues or maybe need a little assistance and I have often found that the people that claim to be the most compassionate are actually the most mean-spirited.  Of course, all of my good readers are kind, caring folks but I wanted to include a link to a great article I read that explains a lot of how I feel but in a more......um... polite manner.  Here is the article.  It's very interesting because they include a small bit of an interview with Kevin Sorbo (played Hercules) and his health struggles and how people so unfairly judge younger folks especially who struggle physically.  People seem to think that if they have never heard of a condition or if "you don't look sick", well, then by God, you're lying and just want attention!!  Well, I think if that was the case we would figure out pretty quickly that once almost everyone immediately abandons you when you feel bad, then ooh.... hey, we're not getting attention so we'll go back to being normal.

I also love it when they try to tell you why you feel bad.  It's especially maddening considering my past employment.  "Well, you just breathed some fumes when you used to work construction".  Yes, I breathed fumes and it fused my neck bones together.  I'll be sure to tell my doctor that one next time I go in.  Oh, oh, oh!!! and then they say, "well, you just worked too hard when you were younger!" and then in the next breath tell you how you apparently need to go back to doing that kind of work because, you guessed it!!... "you'll feel better!!"

I know that I actually have a mild case of Klippel-Feil and I really feel for those that are worse off than me.  Some of those poor people, I don't see how they even get around, but then they do have the advantage of having such deformities that people don't question whether they feel bad.  'Course, that doesn't help their pain.  I also feel for the ones who have no family or friends that support them and you'd be surprised at the number of them that don't.  I have found out first hand, if you can't do for people any more, you are quickly forgotten.  I'm fortunate to have a couple of great friends (Rurality and the BFA) and Jack, who is very helpful to me.  He never complains about the umpteenth time I've asked him to rub pain lotion on my back or neck.  Never complains if I say I don't feel like cooking supper.  If I were still married to my first husband and found out I had this, I would just go ahead and move into a box under a bridge. 

So please, if you know someone who suffers from an invisible illness or disability, please cut 'em a little slack.  You don't have to understand their condition or have even ever heard of it before.  Invite them out to lunch or take them lunch one day.  Just sit and have a cup of tea or offer to stop by the grocery store for them.  I KNOW they would appreciate it.

And here's a picture of a nosy little chicken because I like it and I'm cultivating that same expression for the next time somebody says something stupid to me about my health!!


Rita said...

Annie you did a great job telling others exactly how it is. I worked two jobs for years and paid off my 28 by 50 home. Thank God I did. I have about half a dozen illnesses not all real bad. Auto immune so one especially can get get real bad. I just had to put my dog down and my heart is shattered. Thankfully, I have two friends who care. I am 63. I clean my house, run all our errands, take care of pets, and sort , toss, and organize both my own things and my mothers since her passing after a twelve year illness where I managed her care. I retired, have a long list each day and complete all that I can. Fix meals, buy groceries. If I hear one more person say I need to go back to work I'll scream. I am working. But because of illness not as hard as I used to. Thank you for bringing to light a very important subject.

Pablo said...

If I had a condition (say, depression) I probably would NOT share it with the world simply to avoid all of the grief you report.

But I would still keep coming back to your blog.

texasann said...

I look forward to all your blogs, Annie, even the rants. I admire your work ethic, for ALL you do. None should criticize until they have walked a mile in the moccasins of another.
Thanks for putting some in the places they belong. Hopefully they will recognize themselves and feel ashamed.

ErinFromIowa said...

You're preaching to the choir Annie. ;) Good article link. Bookmarked it for when someone needs some edification. Feel free to use my personal favorite... Why do you ask? ... and put the uncomfortable on the spot feeling right back in their court.

Ed said...

No, I'll feel better when I knock the livin' shit out of you.

I'm guessing the guilty party has forgotten the picture of your bicep that you posted on here eons ago. Had they remembered its size, they certainly wouldn't be antagonizing you. I would certainly try to stay on your good side!

edifice rex said...

Hey Rita! Aww, I hate to hear about your dog. I'm so sorry.
You're welcome. I hope it helps some people to understand and maybe think differently.

Hey Pablo! You know, I am really to the point now of not even talking about it unless I know the person is sincerely wanting to know how I feel. And that's awful.
Plus, knowledge is how rare conditions are helped, so you want to share info but it's sort of a damned if you do or damned if you don't kinda thing.

Hey Ann! well, unfortunately, the people I've had the most trouble with do not read this blog to hear what I'm saying, but maybe it will help some others.

Hey Erin! Yeah, I know some of you really understand what I'm talking about.

Hey Ed! ha! thanks for the laugh! unfortunately, the ones who antagonize me the most do it over the phone. maybe they are smarter than I thought. lol!


Anonymous said...

You know how sometimes you're reading somebody's blog and you can just almost hear them actually saying the things they write?

"No, I'll feel better when I knock the livin' shit out of you." Yeah, I definitely heard that in your voice, LOL.

Let me know when you're done with your restoration job - the guys aren't here for a couple of weeks, I think.


JO said...

Great Post Annie,

I get this crap too. you don't look sick, maybe if you lose some weight, and maybe if you kiss my ass I will feel better for sure.

Can't believe how ignorant some people can be.
Hang in there because we are much stronger minded than some ever will be.

edifice rex said...

Hey Karen! haha! yeah, I guess that pretty much sounds like me.
I thought I was going to finish that job this week but I came down with some kinda bug, should finish early next week though and I'll let you know.

Hey Jo! Haha! thanks for the laugh! I have been amazed at the gall some people have for sure.

Anonymous said...

People are just damn fools and should keep their mouths shut!!
The know it alls of the world. Makes me just want to choke the shit out of them. They don't have a friggin clue.
Hang in there. You live in your body, not them.
I see people struggle daily and wonder how they do what they do.
Just pain ignorance on their part.

edifice rex said...

Hey ANon! haha! love it! thank you.

pamit said...

Annie, that's such good advice to just do something simple like listen or have a cup of tea, with people who aren't "on top of the world" at some point in time. I'm going to go downstairs right now and do just that! Thank you. --Pam in CO