I'll warn you straight off the bat that this is going to be a rant. And it will probably contain some ugly language. You know, I realize I get cranky sometimes when I'm hurting but if one more person tells me that I'll just feel all better when I "go back to work", I'm gonna knock the livin' shit out of them. You'll feel better when you go back to work...you just need to work.....when are you going back to work?.... No, I'll feel better when I knock the livin' shit out of you.
First off, this is one of the most idiotic statements I've ever heard. If you feel bad due to injury or illness, rest is what makes you feel better. Right? Not driving almost an hour one way to some town job when your ass hurts so bad you can't stand to sit for long periods, "working" some job and then driving that hour home. Of course, I know activity does often help, as does getting out a bit, but it implies that I feel bad because I've apparently become so depressed and lazy laying around all day. I feel bad in my mind, not in my body because you know, if it was my body actually the problem, well then rest would help..
As many of ya'll know I've been working on a restoration job lately, which I'm really enjoying and happy to be doing, but has it made me all bouncy and pain free?? Hell no. I hurt like shit sometimes. Still.
Secondly, it implies that I've been laying on my ass the past 2 1/2 years, not working. You know, I don't know what it is about people that they want to insist if you work at home you are not really working. I suspect it has a lot to do with jealousy that they don't have the back bone to work a job that makes them happy or they let somebody ruin their life by bullying them out of a job they really wanted. Gotta conform!!! Gotta do work like everybody else where you hate your job and can't wait for the weekend!! Yes, the truth is out...I've laid on my ass this whole time. I have no idea how two loads of pottery makes it into Birmingham every 30 days about and the garden gets planted and worked and harvested and the animals looked after. And if people don't think that's work then they need to come spend a couple days with me, especially in this summer heat. They'll be running back to those weeny office jobs in no time. Granted, I do not work like I used to (not yet) and Jack does a lot of work around here to take up slack for me. I used to do 3 loads of pottery a month or more. At times the garden gets let go a little and I've not put up as much food as I would have liked to, so I'll be the first to admit I'm not as productive as I would like. But I thought a job was something you made money from and I get 1-3 checks a month from my sales. But it's apparently not a "real" job. It's not work, because hey!! work makes you feel good!! It miraculously unfuses the vertebrae in your neck. Well, that or it makes you vomit from your head hurting so bad because you worked on something overhead for just a little too long.
I'm not really sure where it comes from or when it started but our society has a real problem when it comes to people who have physical issues or maybe need a little assistance and I have often found that the people that claim to be the most compassionate are actually the most mean-spirited. Of course, all of my good readers are kind, caring folks but I wanted to include a link to a great article I read that explains a lot of how I feel but in a more......um... polite manner. Here is the article. It's very interesting because they include a small bit of an interview with Kevin Sorbo (played Hercules) and his health struggles and how people so unfairly judge younger folks especially who struggle physically. People seem to think that if they have never heard of a condition or if "you don't look sick", well, then by God, you're lying and just want attention!! Well, I think if that was the case we would figure out pretty quickly that once almost everyone immediately abandons you when you feel bad, then ooh.... hey, we're not getting attention so we'll go back to being normal.
I also love it when they try to tell you why you feel bad. It's especially maddening considering my past employment. "Well, you just breathed some fumes when you used to work construction". Yes, I breathed fumes and it fused my neck bones together. I'll be sure to tell my doctor that one next time I go in. Oh, oh, oh!!! and then they say, "well, you just worked too hard when you were younger!" and then in the next breath tell you how you apparently need to go back to doing that kind of work because, you guessed it!!... "you'll feel better!!"
I know that I actually have a mild case of Klippel-Feil and I really feel for those that are worse off than me. Some of those poor people, I don't see how they even get around, but then they do have the advantage of having such deformities that people don't question whether they feel bad. 'Course, that doesn't help their pain. I also feel for the ones who have no family or friends that support them and you'd be surprised at the number of them that don't. I have found out first hand, if you can't do for people any more, you are quickly forgotten. I'm fortunate to have a couple of great friends (Rurality and the BFA) and Jack, who is very helpful to me. He never complains about the umpteenth time I've asked him to rub pain lotion on my back or neck. Never complains if I say I don't feel like cooking supper. If I were still married to my first husband and found out I had this, I would just go ahead and move into a box under a bridge.
So please, if you know someone who suffers from an invisible illness or disability, please cut 'em a little slack. You don't have to understand their condition or have even ever heard of it before. Invite them out to lunch or take them lunch one day. Just sit and have a cup of tea or offer to stop by the grocery store for them. I KNOW they would appreciate it.
And here's a picture of a nosy little chicken because I like it and I'm cultivating that same expression for the next time somebody says something stupid to me about my health!!