A Whole Lot More To Me

Hey-O Folks!  I'm still kickin'.  Just thought I'd drop a quick post per the usual.  I'm doing pretty good.  Still experimenting with my prescriptions and getting the right dosage and balance for me.  I went back to my Neurologist in May for my 6 month check in and he said it was just a matter of trying different dosages and timing to see what works best because everyone is so different with Parkinson's.  I think I'm finally making a little progress though.  The stiffness and pain had gotten so bad I had to do something and basically my options are kinds limited right now to drugs and exercise.  He did give me a much stronger muscle relaxer to try but it didn't do any good.  I tried it multiple times and it just never seemed to do anything.  Well, it made me fuzzy-headed and I hate that, so unless it really helped the pain I'm not taking that.  And it didn't.  Just upping my Sinemet and trying to stay moving more often seems to have done more than anything.  The effect is not immediate; it takes several days before anything is noticeable but it does seem to be helping.

A couple of days ago Allen and I took a trip up to Guntersville to see the Outdoor Alabama photo exhibit. I just needed to get out and do something fun.  This is the exhibit that my butterfly photo won a spot in.  So that was nice.  It's no big deal but just a nice thing in an otherwise fairly crappy last year. We also had a nice, quiet meal at a restaurant in Guntersville and then went up to the lodge at the state park, which is where the exhibit is right now.  The weather was great and Guntersville State Park is super nice. We walked around the camp grounds too.  They have a nice beach and I would really like to do some camping there some day.  They have tons of hiking options and all kinds of stuff.

This was after a really horrible day in which my lovey Zuzu passed away.  She had been sick for about 2 weeks and I thought was making some progress in getting better.  Well, she had made great progress in one area but then got sour crop, which can be very difficult, and I just didn't catch it in time.  I did finally realize what was going on and treat her for it but it was too much I guess.  At least she died sudden and I did not have to put her down, thank God.  She was just the biggest personality of any chicken and was so smart and funny.  I will miss her so much.

I have taken in 2 other rescue chickens in the past couple of weeks also.  I'll tell you about those soon.  They are doing really well.  Chigger and Callie the cat are doing well also.

I was also able to get a new laptop, which has made working online infinitely easier than what I had before.  The old laptop I had ran on Windows 7 and was right on the verge of dying.  They stopped supporting 7 back at the first of the year and it was just a matter of time.  That thing was so slow it took me forever to get anything done.  Now I can go pretty fast and it has helped my sales and ways to make money online.  So, I'm doing okay.  I mean, I built a house out of my pocket...I'm not a moron and I am resourceful.  Plus, these days there are lots of avenues in making money by working at home.  I do occasionally work a little for some folks but I'm still having trouble with so much pain and fatigue that working an 8 hour job is very difficult.  At home I can rest and then work later when I have recovered some.  Of course, I hope to improve and expand my means of working but it takes some time, especially when struggling so much with feeling bad.  But I will do it.  I will keep fighting.

Another interesting note is that I recently spoke to a cousin of mine and he appears to also have Parkinson's.  He hasn't been officially diagnosed yet but it looks pretty certain. I know I have mentioned that I had 2 uncles with Parkinson's.  Well, this cousin is the son of one of those uncles' twin brother.  That make sense?  Apparently, it is heavy in our genes.  So, that's crappy.  I hope to get into some research trials somewhere in the area; probably at UAB.  They are making some great progress these days in the research and if nothing else, maybe I can be of some help there.  I've got to do something.

She's Alright

And the girls are all alright also...Sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth, somewhat.  I never really think that anybody notices but enough of y'all emailed to give me a little kick in the butt, so I thought I'd drop a little update.  Mostly I am doing fine.  During all the bullshit of the past several months I fell off on my exercising and that has been the worst thing.  It's been kinda scary to see just how stiff my legs and lungs have gotten in that short time, now that I am trying to get back into the exercise groove.  I go to see my neurologist next week and we are going to have a serious talk about pain and stiffness.  I am still having a lot of trouble with that.

Mainly I have just been kinda reclusive.  I'm not sure if it's the disease or just being completely confounded and fed up with the bullshit reactions of some folks.  It's bad enough to have to come to grips with having something like this and then to have people say you are faking it, or...oh, it's not that bad...I wouldn't worry about it...blah, blah.  I don't even know if it's hatefulness?, cluelessness?....just dumb?...it's mind-boggling.  Then the folks that think they are going to take advantage of you if you're sick...oh, you're too sick to notice what they're doing behind your back and all that. People supposed to be friends that are stealing from you. 
I tell you one thing; living in peace, without having to worry, or find out constantly, what is being done or said about you behind your back, is the greatest treasure on earth.  No amount of money is worth sacrificing that peace.  I don't care how hard things may get for me, I can live in peace and I am enjoying the hell out of it.
One thing I want to do, is to devote the rest of my life to educating folks (those that can be educated) to the realities of "invisible illnesses".  I have been just absolutely floored with the amount of ignorance and prejudice thrown at folks who are struggling with everything they have against serious diseases but because most people think "they look fine" that they must be lying or faking or whatever.  And I think, why the hell would anyone lie about having something like this??  Oh yeah, let me make all this up so I can be called all kinds of ugly names, lose my job and half my friends run off.  Yeah boy, I can see the advantage to that.  What the bloody hell???

So, yeah, I still have a bit of anger about things.  And unfortunately, writing here often brings it out. So that's one reason I guess I have put off posting anything.  And I have not yet started another blog. But I assure you, my reasons for starting another blog are still there and legit and it will happen.  And I'm still watching my photos and the person who stole them and if I EVER see them used publicly without my permission there will be some hell to pay.
I also have trouble typing a lot of days and that is very frustrating.  Some days are not so bad but some days I spend so much time correcting mistakes that it's not much worth it.

At any rate, I am doing fine overall.  I have bad days and I have some pretty good days.  Every day I am in considerable pain but I keep going.  All my critters are doing well and all are fed.  I would go without before any of my girls would, but we are all doing fine in that regard.  In fact, I've had a huge glut of eggs and been trying like crazy to sell them all.  Thankfully, with the heat, the girls are slowing down a little with their laying.
I am getting by fine.  I'm not having to live off a credit card, despite what some would probably like to believe.  I'm not "destitute" as my poor old crazy neighbor says, or bedridden as he told my other neighbor the other day.  I have only planted about half the garden this year but I've been using a lot of it as pasture for the chickens, since they have to stay fenced up a bit more these days. I do make money from various jobs (partly my art) but I am not going into that for various reasons.  It is legit work though! lol!  I have planted tomatoes, lettuce, green beans, cukes, radishes, broccoli, peppers and maybe something else. 

My 1st place photo in the Outdoor Alabama photo contest is currently touring the state along with the 41 other finalists. I was real happy about that.  Another state museum has expressed definite interest in purchasing one of my sculptures for their permanent collection.  The director basically told me that as soon as I finished the third one in this particular series, that they would buy it.  Just gotta get this rain to stop so I can finish it.  It's a welded steel piece so that's the issue.  I don't yet have a covered welding area.  But I'm working on it and will get there one day.

So, there's a bit of an update.  I hope everyone out there is doing well.  I do hope to get the new blog going before long if I can get out of this reclusive state.  I don't want to say that I have become fearful of people but I have become very untrusting.  My family has been very supportive of me and I have a couple of really good friends that have proven to be golden, but having been diagnosed with Parkinson's has shown me a side of people that I, frankly, have been shocked to see.  Just dumbfounded.  And that's taking me a bit to process and get over.

Growing Her Wings

 Whew!!  I have been really busy lately!  Which is a great thing.  We are beginning the height of our growing season here and have lots of stuff coming in from the garden now.  So, you know that means picking, canning, freezing, drying and so on.

 Most of the garden is doing well but some things got off to a real slow staart, like the tomatoes and okra.  We've had plenty of rain!  But that's makes for not so much sunshine...at that slows down some veggies.  We are finally starting to get a little of everything now.

 I guess I put this up mainly for the little birds!  They are about the only ones that ever see it!  The little phoebes and bluebirds have been working their little hearts out this year though...catching lots of bugs for me.

 I think we will have a much better corn crop this year.  We added amendments to this plot all winter long and it seems to have helped a lot.  Can't wait for some fresh, hot buttered corn on the cob!!

 Just a little sampling of what we are getting so far. 

 We also did a bit of landscaping while we had the neighbor's backhoe.  This area was really lumping and horrible; filled with rocks and stumps.  It was about impossible to mow, so I had Allen dig up all the stumps and grade everything.  We also expanded the little wet weather stream bed and I am slowly lining it with flat rocks to make it more attractive when it's dry.  It looks pretty nice actually but this photo isn't very good.  The edges are lined with irises in places.
We also cut out several old, crappy trees and expanded the cleared area, which you can't really seee here.  We intend to plant another apple tree and possibly a plum and cherry.

My annual row of zinnias in the garden is finally  blooming!  There are a few other flowers mixed in but the zinnias kinda dominate.

Thank you for all the kind comments in the last post.  I wanted to respond here to a couple of the last ones made, so to be sure they would be seen.  And also, please, please note this:  my blog is set so that all comments made after 3 days of the post publishing, must be moderated by me.  I have to physically post them.  Blogger does NOT always tell me when some people comment.   I don't know why.  So....I don't always know that I a comment has been left unless I go to the blog dashboard and check specifically for that.  I forget to do this frequently because not a lot goes on here anymore.  I recently discovered a comment from last year!! that I never knew about and never published!  I would never skip a comment on purpose (unless the person was just being a total and complete, useless ass in their comment), so if this ever happens, please know it is not on purpose.  My memory is just not what it was and sometimes I forget to look.

Since March the doctor has had me trying a couple of different meds and dosage amounts etc. and it's had me all over the place at times.  But that's just natural.  They have to try lots of different things for each person to find the right combo.  Anyway, he doubled my dose of Mirapex lately and I had a very bad reaction to that and went I dropped back down to my low dose it seemed to throw me in a another horrible direction!  It was quite unpleasant.  So, after wrangling around with the cost of another drug (there was no way I could begin to afford it) he put me on a very, very low dose of Sinemet.  This is actually helping a lot and I feel much better.  I still have a lot of pain and stiffness but the brain fog is better and just feeling more like doing things and with a better outlook.  My skin has cleared up great and doesn't hurt all the time and I can swallow food easily now.

Tammy asked about a support group and I have looked into that.  Unfortunately, there is only one anywhere around me and that's at UAB, of course.  On a good day... UAB is at least 45 minutes away, usually 50-60 minutes, so that's not really something that would work well.  I still don't often feel "clear" or "on" enough to drive in Birmingham traffic. If you've ever been or lived here you'll know what I mean! lol!  So.  I did find a good online support group though, that I like very much and is very helpful.  So, that allows me some contact with folks that truly understand my condition.  They are very encouraging and a lot of them have some pretty wicked sense of humor, so it's fun.

So, that's part of what's going on.  Hopefully I will be back soon with some more activity!!  I hope you all are enjoying your summer!!

Hello Hello!!

 Anybody still out there??!!!

 Ha!  I truly did not mean to be gone this long but I guess life, mental fogginess, apathy, spurts of busyness and everything in between has gotten in the way.  I have been feeling better lately in many ways but still seem stuck when trying to come up with anything to post about.  Maybe I've just gotten so used to the instant post and response of Facebook and similar sites that blogging seems sluggish to me.  I do know that there are many days I have trouble with typing still.  Spend more time trying to correct mistakes than actually typing.  I'm also having trouble with words more often.  I forget or just can't think of the specific words I'm trying to recall.  Of course, everyone does that to some extent but it's getting fairly frequent for me and, as someone that is used to writing fairly easily in the past, it is very frustrating.

 Unfortunately, I just don't have that much to post about it seems.  We did have our annual heavy rains and flooding, as you can see.  They just came about 4 months later than normal.  But that's fine.  We are out of our horrible drought at last.  I think there are just a few tiny area of minor drought over on the west side of the state but for the most part we seem to have recovered.  As you could see in the first photo also, our garden is doing really well.  And many of the flowers are going great this year. 

 I am struggling horribly to get back into any art business though.  Sales for all kinds of things have just plummeted.  You may recall that Allen and I had a booth in an antique/ junk mall where we were making halfway decent sales.  Well, that just all tanked, so we shut that down.  Many others in that same mall have shut down also. I'm looking into online sales, like maybe Etsy, but not sure how that's going to go.  I'll give it a go most likely.  Some people do really well and some don't.  It seems like just sort of a gamble. You never know what's going to be a seller these days. So that's really been a bummer to me.  I've never, ever had trouble making money with my crafts or construction or anything.  Now, it's just all a bomb.  I really don't know what to do.  But it's just one more thing helping me to feel about useless.

 I am having some moderate success selling produce from our garden and eggs.  I mean, it ain't nothing to make any kind of living but it helps pay my incidentals and buy a few groceries that we don't grow.  I'm going to tell you the truth...I feel cursed.  Honest to God, cursed.  Like there is some kind of blackness settled here.  I even smudged and salted the house in an effort to clear things.  It did feel better afterwards and I have had more energy to do things but everything just seems a dead end.  I have a feeling I know where it's coming from but I have no solution at this point.  I'll just have wait it out I guess.

I do not mean to abandon this blog but it's just very hard to formulate a meaningful post anymore.  My brain is just pulled in several different directions at once.  It's hard to concentrate. Typing just now I am suddenly having an excruciating time getting these words out and typing correctly.  I was doing pretty good there for a while and it's like, 2 seconds ago everything just crashed.  If I were to leave this written as is and uncorrected, you would not be able to make heads or tails of what I was trying to say.
I went to back to my neurologist on Monday and he wants to up my Mirapex dosage to see if it doesn't help this brain fog and stuff a bit more.  I'm also having a great deal of trouble with my right side and right shoulder.  Everything on that side has just become so stiff that I am having trouble functioning with some things.  I have a lot of difficulty washing my hair, getting dressed etc. because I can't raise my right arm very much.  So, went back yesterday and had an MRI and X-rays just to rule out an injury.  I don't think it's any kind of injury because when it started I felt so bad I generally didn't do crap around here.  Hard to injure yourself laying on the couch. 

So, I am really still struggling with many things.  A lot of it is emotional.  Parkinson's is a very, very difficult diagnosis to accept.  It's especially hard when you feel so alone.  It's a scary disease and no one wants to hear about it or talk abut it.  If they even believe you have it to begin with.  You want to tell people what's going on with you; why you're so slow, why you're hurting so much, why you are having trouble talking...but then, you figure maybe it's best to keep your mouth shut because you know they are judging you the whole time if you don't act like that person on TV that has Parkinson's acts.  Frustration is rampant.  I feel like I'm stuck in Groundhog Day.  Except every day I have to get up, do my exercises, run until I just can't anymore, just to get my brain to pump out enough dopamine to get my head clear enough to understand what I'm doing for the day and maybe have enough energy to do it.  Then I go to bed exhausted and it all resets itself during my sleep.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  Over and over. 
And it's only me to cheer myself on, to pat myself on the back when I do pretty good for the day, when I fight back and don't just totally succumb to the whole shittiness of this condition.  I post a few photos on Facebook so that 2 or 3 people can tell me I'm doing okay.  That maybe I'm not falling so far behind that I'll never catch up.  But it actually helps.  A kind word goes a long way, even if it's not in real time.  You take what you can get, ya know?
I will improve. I will get better.  I will finish my house and I will have a happy, productive life.  There's a season for everything I guess....as the ol' saying goes.

Warm Enough

 It appears that Winter just sorta gave up shortly after the first of the year and Spring came rushing on in.  Not that I'm complaining about no cold weather, mind you.  But it has been pretty weird.  We did not get the flooding rains we always do around the end of December/ mid-January.  We got some heavy rains but none even close to what I have recorded every year since living here.  Despite all that, we have made up a good deal of the terrible drought this area was in.  I think we are listed as still in a 'slight' drought, but not anything near what it was.
Most things have bloomed out already but a few things, like my forsythia bushes, did not bloom at all.  They just went straight to leaf. Very odd.  The dogwoods started blooming in March. I think that is a first.  It's so nice now that I'm tempted to go ahead and set out some warm weather crops but I'll control myself.  We may be in for a frost next week.  I have got all the spring crops in though!  Very excited about that and even have a good crop of broccoli that I managed to start from seed!! That's also a first. lol!

I have felt well enough since being on the new meds to do some hardscaping too!  I have put this off way, waaaaaayyy too long but have it finished now.  Just need more fill dirt.  It's the main entrance to the garden in case you can't figure it out.  I always assume people know what these photos are of and you can't do that! Anyway, I poured a concrete curb to finish the boundary of the brick paver pad, dug out a bunch of dirt and replaced with gravel and crushed limestone fill.  Packed that and then laid the remainder of the pavers.  The block coming off at right angles is the beginning of gravel paths that will go around the entire garden perimeter to form a flower/ herb bed on the outside edge.  Make sense?

Nothing is flat around here so I have to step or terrace everything.  The pavers are sand-set by the way.

 Little bit different angle.  I was very pleased with how it came out. When the garden soil and gravel paths are filled in there will not be quite that big off a drop from the paver elevation. Maybe only an inch or two.

 A real nice, older gentleman down the road has let us have use of his backhoe.  I did some welding for him on a couple of occasions and I guess he was pleased so he told me if I wanted any of his old equipment that he didn't use anymore to just ask.  I wasn't really sure he was serious but I said, Sure, I'll take that old backhoe if you ever want to get rid of it!  He said, Okay! Haha! I was kinda flabbergasted.  At first he said he's sell it and then he just said, if you can get it running (it's pretty old) that we could just use it however much we wanted.  Just keep it running and not tear it up.  Good deal! Allen got it going and drove it over to my place, where it promptly died.  But Allen can get most any machine going again and he got it running enough to get up to his place next and then fixed it up a lot.  It runs pretty good now and we are taking turns doing a good bit of landscaping.  Will sure save me a chunk of money when I go to dig the footings for the next half of the house.  No, I don't have the means for building that yet but it must happen at some point.

 I repaired a larger bucket that came with it and we put that on.  This was a complete break and separation here but me and Allen worked with it and got it closed up enough I could get a good weld going.  For the most part, if I can step across it I can weld it.  lol!  And you believe that, right?  That's a very, very old brag for a welder.  And no, I will not give up welding.  I do weld now with a respirator and/ or a stiff wind blowing across me and will do so as long as I can hold my hands still enough to run a bead.

The violets are especially pretty this year and very, very prolific.  My herbalist friend came to visit the other day and told me how to make a syrup from them to sooth my lungs and throat.  I have a lot of issue now with coughing and hoarseness.  This is common with PD and it's very frustrating.  Hopefully this syrup will help a little.
Well, like I said, I am feeling better but still not quite up to my old days.  I hurt a lot and have a lot of stiffness all along my right side.  I joked that my left side is too loose and shakes and my right side is too tight and hurts! I'm slower than I used to be due to this but I'm still chugging along.  Mainly I want to do stuff and am excited about things again.  I can take some pain in exchange for that.  I'll try to get back soon with maybe some progress in the garden and maybe even the kitchen!!

Shake It Off

Hey!!  I'm actually back here in less than 2 months!!  Woo!  I'm on a roll now!  Actually, I told ya'll I would try to post again soon because I felt I would have an update in the next couple of weeks...and I do.  Back in late October I went back to my primary doctor for some new blood work and then in February went back once more after new symptoms and issues became very troublesome.  I will go ahead and tell you that I have been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.
Now, I am going to explain the issues here and this post may be long but I'm doing this for a specific reason.  1.  In case the information may help someone else and ...2. To clarify things for the few folks that read my blog and actually know me in real life.  I want it to be very clear that this is NOT something I just pulled out of my ass and one day decided, hey, I'm gonna have Parkinson's.  Trust me, I don't want this crap disease.  And yes, there is a real reason I'm making this clarification but that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Ya'll know for about 2 years I strongly felt that I just had arthritis of some sort. I had many symptoms that went along with that; pain, stiffness, etc.  Arthritis runs in my family.  A couple of the doctors I saw said, yes, it's possible.  The hitch was, though, that every time they did an X-ray etc. they would all say the same thing..."there is some small erosion/ degradation in your joints but it just doesn't seem like enough to validate the amount of pain you are describing".  I heard this several times.  Plus, my blood work just didn't back it up.  In fact, when I did go back in October my sed rates were perfectly normal and inflammation markers were as low as they measure.  I was like, wth?  Well, by February I was having all new issues.  I couldn't swallow food well.  I didn't necessarily get choked but the food just would not go down often times.  No matter how much liquid I tried to wash it down with and all that.  A few times it got kinda scary.  The pain and stiffness I've had in my hips/ rear end area started moving up into my right shoulder and arm and down into my feet.  Within 2 weeks my shoulder had become so stiff I had trouble getting my shirts on and off.  The tremor in my left hand also became much more noticeable at times and often moved down into my left foot if I got upset.  And I was getting upset a lot.  Sometimes about stuff that didn't really seem to warrant that kind of anger when I thought about it later.  I have no doubt that many of you all noticed that some of my posts over the last year or so often sounded angry or very frustrated.  There are a number of other issues; gastrointestinal, etc. that I just will leave at that....One reason I haven't posted much is because typing had become pretty difficult due to my hands jerking or just feeling like I couldn't control them.  I drop stuff constantly.  My handwriting also became smaller at times and would run down the page, no matter how much I tried to control it. Something just seemed very wrong.  I did look up some stuff and that's when I saw the connection between muscle stiffness/ pain and Parkinson's and the fact it most often presents it's self in your shoulders and moves across into the neck area, along with several other of the new issues I was experiencing (trouble swallowing etc.). Most people think of the tremor as being the main thing but it's not always.  This would really explain why no pain or arthritis meds ever helped me. 

There is no definitive blood or imaging test for Parkinson's, unfortunately.  Basically, if you have the symptoms and have exhausted all other possibilities, which I had, then they simply give you a dopamine agonist drug and if that helps, you have PD.  Most of these drugs are not used to treat much else, so it's pretty conclusive.  In reading I discovered that there is a natural dopamine supplement that you can get over the counter and one neurologist in a forum I was studying said a few of his patients used it with good results.  So.  I ordered some and started taking it.  Sure enough, within 7 or 8 days many of my issues had improved significantly.  With these results I emailed the neurologist on the forum, told him all this info and asked him..."Do you think that it is a reasonable thing to think this could be Parkinson's?" .  He said  'Yes, that if the L-dopa helped, then I "most likely had Parkinson's, unfortunately."  I took this info back to my primary doc and also noted to him that I had 2 uncles with Parkinson's (they were brothers) and that I had been a welder for 27 years.  He did a little exam and said a visit to a neurologist was warranted, with the strict orders I also tell the new doctor my family history and that I was a welder.  I then emailed the great doc I had gone to at UAB, explained to him my findings and that I was trying to get in to see a neurologist in the St. Vincent's system. (My insurance basically told me that they were one of the few systems I could go to.  They now considered UAB to be too expensive.)  Anyway.  This doc emailed me back and said he could agree with that diagnosis and offered to help me get in to see either of 2 colleagues that he really liked. I took him up on that offer and quickly got an appointment with the one closer to me.

March 2 I went to see this neurologist.  I liked him a lot.  He was very thorough, we talked for about an hour.  He did 2 physical exams and on some of the balance stuff I was all over the place and I have a bit of neuropathy in both feet. He actually called the doctor at UAB during my visit and consulted with him for a while, came back in and we talked some more with a few more exercises for me to do.  At approximately 10:00 a.m. on that Thursday morning he gave me an official diagnosis of Parkinson's and prescribed Mirapex for me.  This drug is only used to treat PD and restless leg syndrome and as you can see...the label clearly states what he prescribed it to me for.  He also told me to continue the L-dopa supplement if I wanted to, since it had helped and what I really liked....he greatly advocates exercise as an effective treatment and also suggested I consider boxing therapy!  Apparently they have had very good results with such and it sounds fun.  You don't actually box another person but simply use the hanging bag and it also includes jumping rope, running and lots of balance related boxing training.

So.  There you go.  It sucks.  I will admit I bawled my eyes out after talking to the first 2 doctors and ended up blubbering about not wanting to lose my mind.  Since PD is the drastic loss of dopamine to the brain there is a heavy mental aspect to it.  By the time I was actually diagnosed I had sort of calmed down and wasn't crying anymore.  One thing my new doctor tried to emphasis with me is that Parkinson's progresses very, very slowly for most people and it is not fatal within itself.  Both my uncles lived to be in their late 80s.

So.  Yes, I am very glad to finally have an answer despite the fact the answer sucks wind.  Yes, I am very glad it's not cancer and it's not going to kill me.  However, the idea of having a disease that is slowly destroying my brain and for which there is no cure (unlike some forms of cancer) is not the happiest thought and the ol' "well, at least it's not cancer" response is probably not the best thing to say to someone you know that has just been diagnosed with something like this.

I have noticed a bit of improvement in many of my symptoms already...eating is not so scary anymore I'll tell ya that!  Although I move more slowly and it takes me a while to do stuff, I have felt much more like doing things and have made some nice progress in the garden lately that I'll show ya'll later.  Just having some of the apathy and brain fog lifted is worth a LOT.  I still have a great deal of pain but am hopeful this will get better now.  I will try to post here more often now.  For one, I hope to be doing more to actually have something to post about.  Secondly, I have an easier time typing now....for the most part.  Some days I'm off a little and have more of an issue with the tremors but lots of days are better as far as that goes.  So, thanks for reading and I appreciate all your comments as usual.

Low Profile

Thought I'd share a few photos of some sneaky critters that I've spied around here lately.  I know I've been laying low too.  Not felt real good these past couple of weeks, plus, my old decrepit desktop 'puter finally gasped it's last breath and so I've had to transition over to my laptop that mostly sat unused.  It had been acting up for some time, so I had enough sense to get all my photos off the desktop and onto another drive but had not quite cleared all my documents off when it finally gave up the ghost.

I had a few more pics of these dragonflies but they have been misplaced somewhere in the move.  And...although I was able to transfer all my photos to this laptop, it somehow (or I did) just dumped ALL of them (a couple thousand photos) into one big folder, all jumbled up.  On the desktop I had everything in various folders, such as all chicken photos and so on, but now everything is just in a wad.  *sigh*  I may never get all that straightened out.

So anyway.  I'm here.  I am slowly making progress.  Some days I feel better and some days I feel like hammered hell.  I'll try to post again soon.  I do have a few little things to show yall.

Oh, and if there are any locals that want to drop by, I am selling the last of my pottery!  Some good deals here!  Well, no sales tax anyway..Haha!  I have mostly dinnerware type stuff...bowls, plates, a few mugs etc.  Let me know if you wanna come take a look.  It may be the last stuff I make (pottery wise) for a looong time.

Cherry Bomb

 Well, once again I did not mean to stay away so long from posting but things have just been a little bit of a struggle lately.  I'm making a little progress on the allergy front but not much at all on the arthritis part.  Still a lot of pain.  I did go for a week or so with very little brain fog so that was nice; I was very excited about that.

 On some good news though...the garden is doing great!  We even had enough cherries off the tree this year for me to make a small cobbler with.  Wooo doggies!  It was good.  The chickens really love the cherries too and fortunately the tree is actually in the garden where they cannot get to it.  I suspect I would find them up in it otherwise.  I give them the fruits that the birds have picked on and they just go nuts! Even going so far as to physically knock each other down to get to the cherries first.  They are so funny.

 The peas are doing well although at this point they are kinda on the downhill side.  Being a cooler weather crop they are not lasting long in this hotter weather.  That's fine though.  I've frozen plenty and I'll pull these up and plant green beans in their place I think.

 The cauliflower and broccoli did real well also. We had enough to freeze some also.  I'm slowly pulling up the spent stalks to give to the chickens and am not sure what I want to plant there next.

I didn't realize until I went to do this post that I haven't really taken much of any photos lately; especially of the garden so ya'll are just getting a few scraps, so to speak.  I'll try to get out there and get some new pics soon.

And I had promised ya'll a photo or two of the new art work I am working on...so here is one new piece.  I've actually been doing a series of these and have one more I want to do.  My new direction is not going very well though, although I am very pleased with how my new work is coming out.  I've been turned down by absolutely every show I've entered this year; photography, sculpture.... everything.  But I will not get discouraged.  I like my new work.  Hell, with the setbacks I've faced over the past few years, this is nothing.  I do need to transition to something that is going to make money on a regular basis but I will keep on with the sculpture too.

Sorta Silent Sunday

 Just a few scenes from this beautiful spring we are having here.  I hope the weather is nice where you are.

 I am trying to get together a post on more of my allergy findings and treatment.  The past few days I've been dealing with one of my headaches though...so it's going a little slow.  I am making progress with the allergies but there is a lot of backing up and punting going on as I learn!

 I'm very excited about some new sculpture I've been doing and I'll show ya'll soon.

 I'm also trying to get over the idea that I have to post a long, drawn out literary work every time I want to put something up here.  I think that's why so many bloggers get drawn away from blogging and over to Facebook.  A few photos here with no text is just fine too.

A favorite spring delight!

Hangin' On

 You still here??

 Hey folks!  Those few of you still dropping by.  I'm still hangin' in and working on stuff.  Thought I'd at least put up a few photos of things around here.  We've been pretty busy with lots of stuff and making progress on many things.  As soon as the weather gets better and I can get some decent photos I'll show ya'll some of that.

 We've ha a lot of rain since Christmas.  In fact, we had one of the worst rain storms I've seen here on Christmas Day.  Finally got over all that and had another bad storm come through last night.  Nothing was messed up thankfully.  Just soppy wet everywhere.

I've been making some progress on my allergies also and I'll describe that in detail later, in case anyone is interested.  Unfortunately, even though I've made some progress on that, the pain in my hips and butt has not gotten better and, in fact, has spread to my right hip!  That has been truly aggravating and it's made driving or riding in a vehicle a real test of nerves and endurance.  Anything over about 30 minutes and I'm about at my limit.

I finally finished a pottery order that I've been working on for a couple of months now.  Well, I still have to glaze fire it but that should go okay.  I may do a little pottery now and again but for the most part I think I'm done with that.  I think getting away from all that is one of the reasons I've been feeling better.  I told ya'll I was thinking about doing some slip cast stuff but I think I'm just burnt out on all pottery and want to get away from it.  It does not excite me anymore and that's a bad thing in art.
I recently did a little metal sculpture for an auction though and the piece was a big hit AND I really enjoyed doing it.  I think that'll be my next direction as for as art.  I'll show ya'll some photos of that too.

I've been trying hard to keep up my exercising and have added some strength training for my legs and hips in an effort to try to stabilize my hips and SI joint.  I've read that weakness in those areas can lead to your SI joint being too loose and moving too much, which can cause the pain of the bones grinding on each other.  I'm about ready to try anything at this point but it kinda makes sense to me.  And, when I did a few of the exercises designed to strengthen those areas...I'm embarrassed to say, I could barely do 5 or 6 reps because those muscles were so weak.  So, there may be something to that.

We are really trying to get a jump on spring this year and have started lots of seedlings.   I'm really, really anxious for warm weather, I'll tell you.  I've been so thankful that this winter has been very mild for us but would not be surprised if we still get a snow storm next month.  That is not unheard of in the south.

On a sad note, a hawk got little WingNut a few weeks ago.  Well, she wasn't so little anymore but she was a sweet little hen, unlike her sister who is a bit of a turd.  It was a rainy day and we were not outside much when it happened, so no free-ranging anymore on rainy days.  I've always been fearful of letting them out on rainy days for that very reason but they squawk so to go out.  Well, no more.  I just hate that it took loosing one to convince me not to do that.  They have a big run, two actually, that they can go between on days they need to stay in.  The hawks have been really bad this year too.  I think all the young 'uns that the older, resident hawk couple has raised over the years have come into their own and are still in the area.  The other day we had about 5 or 6 circling the girls at one time!  Even with us out there yelling at them.  They are brazen.  The girls finally got so nervous they voluntarily ran back into their covered runs.  One hawk got so low over the yard that Chigger took off after it after it, jumping up and snapping at it!  I think that convinced it to go elsewhere.  Chigger is a good girl and fierce protector of Callie Cat too.

So, I'll try to be back soon.  We are supposed to get some real pretty weather in the next few days so I should be able to get some decent photos.

Nothing To Sneeze At

 Since not a lot has been going on around here you all know that you are going to get either bird or chicken pictures!  Ha!  Actually, a fair amount has been going on around here but I don't think ya'll are really that interested in seeing my organized bookshelves, clean bathroom or piles of stuff going to a flea mall, E-bay, the recycling center or Goodwill.  As I mentioned in the last post, I have been feeling somewhat better and my little bit of new energy has been going towards cleaning, purging and organizing.  January is always good for that sort of thing.  And, it's the only thing I know to do when my future is uncertain and I don't know what my next steps are going to be.  By this I mean my job, or what I'm going to do now that I can't do pottery anymore.

I am considering trying my hand at slip-cast pottery because you can better control the growth of mold in slip and drastically reduce your exposure to such things.  I have been playing around with it some but so far I'm not real enthused.  I think I need to make some molds of my own work and then it might be a bit more interesting to me.  Slip cast work can be just as durable/ usable as any stoneware, as long as it's made of stoneware slip and fired correctly.  So, the quality is there.  I mean, after all, all the CorningWare you buy is slip cast.  Heck, even toilets are liquid clay to start with!

 So for now I am selling a bunch of stuff through E-bay and Allen has gotten into the flea mall scene, so I'm sharing a booth with him selling collectibles and some handmade crafts and such.  I've been lugging around boxes and boxes of stuff for 20-something years that belonged to my brother and an aunt and something needs to be done with it.  Fortunately, my brother had excellent, expensive taste and I've made a fair amount off some of that stuff.  In case that sounds kinda harsh, I have kept a few things that were his.  Mainly I just wanted his photos and things of that nature.  None of my other family was interested in keeping his china or such and he had a huge sci-fi collection of books and all sorts of things that didn't really interest anyone either.  So, whadya do? 
It's also a good way to get rid of some of my pottery I consider seconds and make a few bucks.  This particular flea mall we are in has very high traffic and I've been selling a decent amount of old books, tableware and other collectibles I had from my first marriage that I have no interest in anymore.  I always feel better after I clean and get rid of stuff!  Even better if I make a little money!

  I have sold all my show stuff (tent etc.) and sold my big clay slab roller back to the guy I bought it from, so that gave us room to build some shelves in the basement for starting seeds with grow lights and such.  I have never really been satisfied with the veggie starts I buy at the local co-op or whatever and this way we can start the exact types we want here.  Because of my allergies now I am having to eat a little bit of a different diet, one that includes many, many fresh plants and not so much meat, so expanding on my own gardening is about a necessity.  For example, I cannot really eat red tomatoes but I may be able to eat white or green tomatoes.  And yes, there is such a thing as white tomatoes.!  I also need to eat a more diverse selection of greens and herbs and about the only way to do this sort of thing is to grow it yourself.
So, it's all a lot of change- out with the old and in with the new!!  But all you can do is just go with it and try to make it into something interesting and fun.

One other note:  JO, sorry if it looked like I skipped your comment in the reply section and that it took me so long to post it.  For some reason, a very few of ya'lls comments do not show up in my email and I don't know that a comment has been left unless I check either the blog or the blog dashboard, which I forget about and don't do a lot.  Trust me, I really appreciate ALL comments left here and don't mean to ever skip or overlook anyone.

Something To Talk About

 First, a big thanks to all of you that left a comment on my last couple of posts.  I appreciate hearing from you and I do want to revive my posting a bit.  I don't think I'm through with this blog by any means.  Maybe just taking a breather.  I am feeling a bit better.  I think I have made some important discoveries in my health issues and I'll tell ya'll all about that.  I'm still learning and experimenting though and sometimes stuff backfires on me and I end up feeling like crap for a few days, so I still have that to contend with.

I'll also admit I just got kinda fed up with a few things here that I have not mentioned..  Social media can be a great way to make friends and connect with people and it can also astound you with people's pettiness and hateful attitudes.  After my post in October I had a couple people send me some fairly smarmy, sarcastic emails as if they knew anything about what was going on in my life.  Then this other "acquaintance" was reading my blog posts and then running back to her Facebook page to post lengthy ramblings about how my post was totally stupid and wrong.  Didn't have the backbone to disagree with me on my blog.  And the subject matter and timing was so specific it was not coincidence or such.  I'll admit that being in pain every day shortens your temper and patience quite a lot and that was part of the reason I just said "f**k it" for a while.  Plus, I just did not seem to be contributing anything constructive with complaining about how bad I felt all the time.  Long time readers who also disappeared seemed to back that up.  Who wants to hang out with a crank all the time?

 We also lost about 6 of our girls this year.  Some of that has made me very sad.  You may remember in one of my last posts that Little Red had been injured badly by a rooster we had and I was trying to nurse her back to health.  Well, it just wasn't meant to be; she wasn't going to be able to walk again and had stopped eating so I had to put her down.  We had a couple more die just suddenly (not sure why) and the rooster got taken off to another farm.  Then, one of my favorites, Susie, finally lost her battle with some kind of internal issues she had been having for over a year.  The medicine just seemed to stop working and she died.  She was one that loved to sit in my lap and be petted.

 So, we have about 15 hens left and thankfully they all seem real healthy.  The two little Silkies we adopted are doing great and are fitting in real well with the big girls.

This past year was very hard to say the least.  A lot of bad emotions and hard times but I am leaving it all behind and looking forward to a much better year.  I'm trying out some new stuff as far as making a living and art and I'll tell ya'll more about that soon.  And, I will post some more about my health discoveries and how I've been feeling better.

You may have also noticed that I put up a link to the new 2016 calendar I made this year.  I'm not sure why I make those things other than I like to use them and my Mom always gets a kick out of the one I give her!  Anyways....here is one of the only sales pitches you'll ever see me post or allow on this blog:  if you have enjoyed my blog for some time and have the money I would certainly appreciate any purchases.  I don't allow ads here or ask for tips like a lot of bloggers do (which is fine) but I'll be honest, writing this blog over the years has taken a lot of time, especially with the photos, and it would be a help to me if you could purchase a calendar or two.  They are very reasonably priced and very well made.  Just like the kind you would buy in a book store.  In fact, they are printed nicely on thick card stock and many of the photos would be suitable for framing later.  For those that just can't afford it though, I completely understand.

I've heard a number of folks say last year was pretty crappy and I hope we all enjoy a better year in 2016!!
So what have ya'll been up too?  Any big changes?

Blur

I know ya'll are probably getting tired of my hummer photos but I just haven't been able to get anything decent of much else.  This has been a very wet summer so seems like it's been cloudy forever.  I went out yesterday after the sun came out some and really tried to get some new pics but it just didn't work out.  I only got a few and then it clouded back up again and I just gave up.
Things are going fine though.  Just been real busy trying to get ready for this last show and that doesn't leave me with much to tell ya'll about. 

And of course, it seemed like I had more that I wanted to write about but now that I finally have time to sit down at the 'puter I can't think of what I wanted to say.  I've been doing better as far as the fatigue goes; not quite as tired through the day, but seems like around 8:30 at night I just poop out and my mind goes on auto-pilot.  I will really be glad to get this show over with and a few other little orders done so I can just get away from clay for  6 months or so and see if that won't help things.  I suspect I will feel much better.  I also suspect that the wet summer we have had is contributing to things because there are tons of mushrooms all around the house and you can just smell the dank, mustiness everywhere.  When I go outside it's like I can't breath good. 

It's been so wet all my cantaloupe rotted and several of the watermelons busted.  The girls get to enjoy the melons, such as they are.  Most of them did not turn out to be very ripe so I don't know how much the chickens really like them but they eat them anyway.  I hope we get 2 or 3 ripe melons at least.  Some of them are pretty big so you'd think they would do something.
 I did prune back some of the herbs and clear out a couple of things there that have rotted due to the wet.  Half of my big sage bush died and I think my beautiful lemon thyme is gone.  Also, that new variegated mint croaked and I thought they usually liked a little damp.  This has just been an awful year for the garden.  Maybe the fall will be better and we can actually harvest a few things.