Thursday, May 31, 2018

She's Alright

And the girls are all alright also...Sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth, somewhat.  I never really think that anybody notices but enough of y'all emailed to give me a little kick in the butt, so I thought I'd drop a little update.  Mostly I am doing fine.  During all the bullshit of the past several months I fell off on my exercising and that has been the worst thing.  It's been kinda scary to see just how stiff my legs and lungs have gotten in that short time, now that I am trying to get back into the exercise groove.  I go to see my neurologist next week and we are going to have a serious talk about pain and stiffness.  I am still having a lot of trouble with that.

Mainly I have just been kinda reclusive.  I'm not sure if it's the disease or just being completely confounded and fed up with the bullshit reactions of some folks.  It's bad enough to have to come to grips with having something like this and then to have people say you are faking it, or...oh, it's not that bad...I wouldn't worry about it...blah, blah.  I don't even know if it's hatefulness?, cluelessness?....just dumb?'s mind-boggling.  Then the folks that think they are going to take advantage of you if you're sick...oh, you're too sick to notice what they're doing behind your back and all that. People supposed to be friends that are stealing from you. 
I tell you one thing; living in peace, without having to worry, or find out constantly, what is being done or said about you behind your back, is the greatest treasure on earth.  No amount of money is worth sacrificing that peace.  I don't care how hard things may get for me, I can live in peace and I am enjoying the hell out of it.
One thing I want to do, is to devote the rest of my life to educating folks (those that can be educated) to the realities of "invisible illnesses".  I have been just absolutely floored with the amount of ignorance and prejudice thrown at folks who are struggling with everything they have against serious diseases but because most people think "they look fine" that they must be lying or faking or whatever.  And I think, why the hell would anyone lie about having something like this??  Oh yeah, let me make all this up so I can be called all kinds of ugly names, lose my job and half my friends run off.  Yeah boy, I can see the advantage to that.  What the bloody hell???

So, yeah, I still have a bit of anger about things.  And unfortunately, writing here often brings it out. So that's one reason I guess I have put off posting anything.  And I have not yet started another blog. But I assure you, my reasons for starting another blog are still there and legit and it will happen.  And I'm still watching my photos and the person who stole them and if I EVER see them used publicly without my permission there will be some hell to pay.
I also have trouble typing a lot of days and that is very frustrating.  Some days are not so bad but some days I spend so much time correcting mistakes that it's not much worth it.

At any rate, I am doing fine overall.  I have bad days and I have some pretty good days.  Every day I am in considerable pain but I keep going.  All my critters are doing well and all are fed.  I would go without before any of my girls would, but we are all doing fine in that regard.  In fact, I've had a huge glut of eggs and been trying like crazy to sell them all.  Thankfully, with the heat, the girls are slowing down a little with their laying.
I am getting by fine.  I'm not having to live off a credit card, despite what some would probably like to believe.  I'm not "destitute" as my poor old crazy neighbor says, or bedridden as he told my other neighbor the other day.  I have only planted about half the garden this year but I've been using a lot of it as pasture for the chickens, since they have to stay fenced up a bit more these days. I do make money from various jobs (partly my art) but I am not going into that for various reasons.  It is legit work though! lol!  I have planted tomatoes, lettuce, green beans, cukes, radishes, broccoli, peppers and maybe something else. 

My 1st place photo in the Outdoor Alabama photo contest is currently touring the state along with the 41 other finalists. I was real happy about that.  Another state museum has expressed definite interest in purchasing one of my sculptures for their permanent collection.  The director basically told me that as soon as I finished the third one in this particular series, that they would buy it.  Just gotta get this rain to stop so I can finish it.  It's a welded steel piece so that's the issue.  I don't yet have a covered welding area.  But I'm working on it and will get there one day.

So, there's a bit of an update.  I hope everyone out there is doing well.  I do hope to get the new blog going before long if I can get out of this reclusive state.  I don't want to say that I have become fearful of people but I have become very untrusting.  My family has been very supportive of me and I have a couple of really good friends that have proven to be golden, but having been diagnosed with Parkinson's has shown me a side of people that I, frankly, have been shocked to see.  Just dumbfounded.  And that's taking me a bit to process and get over.