A Whole Lot More To Me

Hey-O Folks!  I'm still kickin'.  Just thought I'd drop a quick post per the usual.  I'm doing pretty good.  Still experimenting with my prescriptions and getting the right dosage and balance for me.  I went back to my Neurologist in May for my 6 month check in and he said it was just a matter of trying different dosages and timing to see what works best because everyone is so different with Parkinson's.  I think I'm finally making a little progress though.  The stiffness and pain had gotten so bad I had to do something and basically my options are kinds limited right now to drugs and exercise.  He did give me a much stronger muscle relaxer to try but it didn't do any good.  I tried it multiple times and it just never seemed to do anything.  Well, it made me fuzzy-headed and I hate that, so unless it really helped the pain I'm not taking that.  And it didn't.  Just upping my Sinemet and trying to stay moving more often seems to have done more than anything.  The effect is not immediate; it takes several days before anything is noticeable but it does seem to be helping.

A couple of days ago Allen and I took a trip up to Guntersville to see the Outdoor Alabama photo exhibit. I just needed to get out and do something fun.  This is the exhibit that my butterfly photo won a spot in.  So that was nice.  It's no big deal but just a nice thing in an otherwise fairly crappy last year. We also had a nice, quiet meal at a restaurant in Guntersville and then went up to the lodge at the state park, which is where the exhibit is right now.  The weather was great and Guntersville State Park is super nice. We walked around the camp grounds too.  They have a nice beach and I would really like to do some camping there some day.  They have tons of hiking options and all kinds of stuff.

This was after a really horrible day in which my lovey Zuzu passed away.  She had been sick for about 2 weeks and I thought was making some progress in getting better.  Well, she had made great progress in one area but then got sour crop, which can be very difficult, and I just didn't catch it in time.  I did finally realize what was going on and treat her for it but it was too much I guess.  At least she died sudden and I did not have to put her down, thank God.  She was just the biggest personality of any chicken and was so smart and funny.  I will miss her so much.

I have taken in 2 other rescue chickens in the past couple of weeks also.  I'll tell you about those soon.  They are doing really well.  Chigger and Callie the cat are doing well also.

I was also able to get a new laptop, which has made working online infinitely easier than what I had before.  The old laptop I had ran on Windows 7 and was right on the verge of dying.  They stopped supporting 7 back at the first of the year and it was just a matter of time.  That thing was so slow it took me forever to get anything done.  Now I can go pretty fast and it has helped my sales and ways to make money online.  So, I'm doing okay.  I mean, I built a house out of my pocket...I'm not a moron and I am resourceful.  Plus, these days there are lots of avenues in making money by working at home.  I do occasionally work a little for some folks but I'm still having trouble with so much pain and fatigue that working an 8 hour job is very difficult.  At home I can rest and then work later when I have recovered some.  Of course, I hope to improve and expand my means of working but it takes some time, especially when struggling so much with feeling bad.  But I will do it.  I will keep fighting.

Another interesting note is that I recently spoke to a cousin of mine and he appears to also have Parkinson's.  He hasn't been officially diagnosed yet but it looks pretty certain. I know I have mentioned that I had 2 uncles with Parkinson's.  Well, this cousin is the son of one of those uncles' twin brother.  That make sense?  Apparently, it is heavy in our genes.  So, that's crappy.  I hope to get into some research trials somewhere in the area; probably at UAB.  They are making some great progress these days in the research and if nothing else, maybe I can be of some help there.  I've got to do something.

Hello Hello!!

 Anybody still out there??!!!

 Ha!  I truly did not mean to be gone this long but I guess life, mental fogginess, apathy, spurts of busyness and everything in between has gotten in the way.  I have been feeling better lately in many ways but still seem stuck when trying to come up with anything to post about.  Maybe I've just gotten so used to the instant post and response of Facebook and similar sites that blogging seems sluggish to me.  I do know that there are many days I have trouble with typing still.  Spend more time trying to correct mistakes than actually typing.  I'm also having trouble with words more often.  I forget or just can't think of the specific words I'm trying to recall.  Of course, everyone does that to some extent but it's getting fairly frequent for me and, as someone that is used to writing fairly easily in the past, it is very frustrating.

 Unfortunately, I just don't have that much to post about it seems.  We did have our annual heavy rains and flooding, as you can see.  They just came about 4 months later than normal.  But that's fine.  We are out of our horrible drought at last.  I think there are just a few tiny area of minor drought over on the west side of the state but for the most part we seem to have recovered.  As you could see in the first photo also, our garden is doing really well.  And many of the flowers are going great this year. 

 I am struggling horribly to get back into any art business though.  Sales for all kinds of things have just plummeted.  You may recall that Allen and I had a booth in an antique/ junk mall where we were making halfway decent sales.  Well, that just all tanked, so we shut that down.  Many others in that same mall have shut down also. I'm looking into online sales, like maybe Etsy, but not sure how that's going to go.  I'll give it a go most likely.  Some people do really well and some don't.  It seems like just sort of a gamble. You never know what's going to be a seller these days. So that's really been a bummer to me.  I've never, ever had trouble making money with my crafts or construction or anything.  Now, it's just all a bomb.  I really don't know what to do.  But it's just one more thing helping me to feel about useless.

 I am having some moderate success selling produce from our garden and eggs.  I mean, it ain't nothing to make any kind of living but it helps pay my incidentals and buy a few groceries that we don't grow.  I'm going to tell you the truth...I feel cursed.  Honest to God, cursed.  Like there is some kind of blackness settled here.  I even smudged and salted the house in an effort to clear things.  It did feel better afterwards and I have had more energy to do things but everything just seems a dead end.  I have a feeling I know where it's coming from but I have no solution at this point.  I'll just have wait it out I guess.

I do not mean to abandon this blog but it's just very hard to formulate a meaningful post anymore.  My brain is just pulled in several different directions at once.  It's hard to concentrate. Typing just now I am suddenly having an excruciating time getting these words out and typing correctly.  I was doing pretty good there for a while and it's like, 2 seconds ago everything just crashed.  If I were to leave this written as is and uncorrected, you would not be able to make heads or tails of what I was trying to say.
I went to back to my neurologist on Monday and he wants to up my Mirapex dosage to see if it doesn't help this brain fog and stuff a bit more.  I'm also having a great deal of trouble with my right side and right shoulder.  Everything on that side has just become so stiff that I am having trouble functioning with some things.  I have a lot of difficulty washing my hair, getting dressed etc. because I can't raise my right arm very much.  So, went back yesterday and had an MRI and X-rays just to rule out an injury.  I don't think it's any kind of injury because when it started I felt so bad I generally didn't do crap around here.  Hard to injure yourself laying on the couch. 

So, I am really still struggling with many things.  A lot of it is emotional.  Parkinson's is a very, very difficult diagnosis to accept.  It's especially hard when you feel so alone.  It's a scary disease and no one wants to hear about it or talk abut it.  If they even believe you have it to begin with.  You want to tell people what's going on with you; why you're so slow, why you're hurting so much, why you are having trouble talking...but then, you figure maybe it's best to keep your mouth shut because you know they are judging you the whole time if you don't act like that person on TV that has Parkinson's acts.  Frustration is rampant.  I feel like I'm stuck in Groundhog Day.  Except every day I have to get up, do my exercises, run until I just can't anymore, just to get my brain to pump out enough dopamine to get my head clear enough to understand what I'm doing for the day and maybe have enough energy to do it.  Then I go to bed exhausted and it all resets itself during my sleep.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  Over and over. 
And it's only me to cheer myself on, to pat myself on the back when I do pretty good for the day, when I fight back and don't just totally succumb to the whole shittiness of this condition.  I post a few photos on Facebook so that 2 or 3 people can tell me I'm doing okay.  That maybe I'm not falling so far behind that I'll never catch up.  But it actually helps.  A kind word goes a long way, even if it's not in real time.  You take what you can get, ya know?
I will improve. I will get better.  I will finish my house and I will have a happy, productive life.  There's a season for everything I guess....as the ol' saying goes.

Let Your Love Grow Tall

 The garden as a whole has done very well this year Some things, like the squash and zukes, have about pooped out at this point and are not as full as this photo shows anymore.  In fact, I've pulled up about half of them.  The corn there is much, much taller though.  The corn in the new expansion has not done as well but that soil is new and very lean, so that's not unexpected.  I am getting some corn to eat but it's not real full.

 The stuff in the concrete block is still doing well but must be watered often.  We were in a bit of a drought there for a while and were watering practically every day.  Fortunately we have gotten some relief lately and are not having to water as much.

 The cukes have slowed way down but are still producing some.  Maybe I should have staggered their planting a bit.  They have been very tasty though, not bitter at all and I've heard a lot of folks complaining that a lot of the cukes from the farmer's market have been very bitter.  Lack of water I guess.

 So, we have been getting a great harvest this year, especially with the blueberries. They have been fantastic! and I've kept them all to myself!  haha!  Actually, we have given some to my mom and other family but I have frozen a bunch.  The cucumbers are Marketmore btw.  I'll grow them again I imagine.

 The tomatoes have been a mixed bag, literally.  The Snowballs are great! (that's the cream-colored ones). Very tasty, mild flavor and I don't seem to react to them badly.  The Golden Jubilees are great also but I've grown those before and knew I liked them.  In fact, I've been so happy with these because they are from seeds I saved.  The Green Zebras....well...I'm not even sure if I got the correct thing.  What I think is the Zebras taste okay but I'm not real impressed with them either.  The Black Cherries are great as usual (old favorite) and I have some other red ones that honestly...I don't even have a clue what they are.  Every plant (that's red ones) looks totally different.  The tomatoes I mean.  One plant kinda looks like Cherokee Purples or Black Krim, one looks like giant Black Cherries and then one other is just a nondescript red tomato.  Who knows?

Anyway, they're pretty!  So, social media to the rescue!  Facebook certainly has it's drawbacks but I have found it's great for selling stuff.  So...I just put the word out on the weekends and so far I've about sold out every Saturday.  I'm not making a ton of money by any means but it's paid for some of the stuff I bought to improve the garden this year.

Of course, I am keeping most of the fruits of our labors for ourselves. In fact, tomorrow is a big canning day.  I've got peas, beans and salsa ready to go, so tomorrow morning will see the ol' pressure canner in action once again.  We still have a fair amount of jams left from last year so I don't know that I'll do much more of that but I might make some pickled okra to give away.  Sadly, I really can't eat it anymore but I know several people that enjoy it and we are getting a good bit of okra this year, so...!  It's an easy gift.
How goes your garden this year?  Or do you depend on the farmer's market?

Nothing To Sneeze At

 Since not a lot has been going on around here you all know that you are going to get either bird or chicken pictures!  Ha!  Actually, a fair amount has been going on around here but I don't think ya'll are really that interested in seeing my organized bookshelves, clean bathroom or piles of stuff going to a flea mall, E-bay, the recycling center or Goodwill.  As I mentioned in the last post, I have been feeling somewhat better and my little bit of new energy has been going towards cleaning, purging and organizing.  January is always good for that sort of thing.  And, it's the only thing I know to do when my future is uncertain and I don't know what my next steps are going to be.  By this I mean my job, or what I'm going to do now that I can't do pottery anymore.

I am considering trying my hand at slip-cast pottery because you can better control the growth of mold in slip and drastically reduce your exposure to such things.  I have been playing around with it some but so far I'm not real enthused.  I think I need to make some molds of my own work and then it might be a bit more interesting to me.  Slip cast work can be just as durable/ usable as any stoneware, as long as it's made of stoneware slip and fired correctly.  So, the quality is there.  I mean, after all, all the CorningWare you buy is slip cast.  Heck, even toilets are liquid clay to start with!

 So for now I am selling a bunch of stuff through E-bay and Allen has gotten into the flea mall scene, so I'm sharing a booth with him selling collectibles and some handmade crafts and such.  I've been lugging around boxes and boxes of stuff for 20-something years that belonged to my brother and an aunt and something needs to be done with it.  Fortunately, my brother had excellent, expensive taste and I've made a fair amount off some of that stuff.  In case that sounds kinda harsh, I have kept a few things that were his.  Mainly I just wanted his photos and things of that nature.  None of my other family was interested in keeping his china or such and he had a huge sci-fi collection of books and all sorts of things that didn't really interest anyone either.  So, whadya do? 
It's also a good way to get rid of some of my pottery I consider seconds and make a few bucks.  This particular flea mall we are in has very high traffic and I've been selling a decent amount of old books, tableware and other collectibles I had from my first marriage that I have no interest in anymore.  I always feel better after I clean and get rid of stuff!  Even better if I make a little money!

  I have sold all my show stuff (tent etc.) and sold my big clay slab roller back to the guy I bought it from, so that gave us room to build some shelves in the basement for starting seeds with grow lights and such.  I have never really been satisfied with the veggie starts I buy at the local co-op or whatever and this way we can start the exact types we want here.  Because of my allergies now I am having to eat a little bit of a different diet, one that includes many, many fresh plants and not so much meat, so expanding on my own gardening is about a necessity.  For example, I cannot really eat red tomatoes but I may be able to eat white or green tomatoes.  And yes, there is such a thing as white tomatoes.!  I also need to eat a more diverse selection of greens and herbs and about the only way to do this sort of thing is to grow it yourself.
So, it's all a lot of change- out with the old and in with the new!!  But all you can do is just go with it and try to make it into something interesting and fun.

One other note:  JO, sorry if it looked like I skipped your comment in the reply section and that it took me so long to post it.  For some reason, a very few of ya'lls comments do not show up in my email and I don't know that a comment has been left unless I check either the blog or the blog dashboard, which I forget about and don't do a lot.  Trust me, I really appreciate ALL comments left here and don't mean to ever skip or overlook anyone.

Looking For A Job..or....Spare Me From The Mold

this is not me but it looked very similar

So, Thursday I went to the doc and sat for 2 hours while they jabbed me with needles all over both arms.  Some of the results were very surprising, some of them not so much.  First off, grass is about my worst allergy.  Several types of grass too; rye, bahia, june, timothy and bermuda.  Second worst was molds of various kinds, including penicillin, which I had been told long ago but was not sure of.  Then came, dust mites, chicken feathers!, and cat hair.  Foods that I reacted badly to was malt, yeast, soy, tomato (crap!) and peanuts.
My allergy doctor is pretty sure that at least some of my joint pain/ exhaustion is due to these allergies.  I've also had problems with my throat swelling so much it was hard to eat and various other similar things.  I did also get the results of the X-rays that were done back in May and they said my hands and lower spine looked fine but my feet had a lot of evidence of "cartilage-loss" arthritis.  So, no wonder they hurt like hell sometimes.  Basically then, my whole body is in a huge state of inflammation and it's bad enough that it's gone into my bones in some areas.  My ENT feels it's pretty bad and is treating it fairly aggressively.  So, this means 2 types of allergy meds and customized drops under my tongue 3 times a day.  After 4 weeks I'll go to shots (not under my tongue tho!) and will eventually probably have to learn to give myself the shots.  And...to remove myself from the offending particles as much as possible.

Now, with grass, I don't even know how this is possible other than I don't cut grass anymore. I have to wear a mask in and around the chicken coop and don't let the girls sit in my lap much anymore.  Apparently, chicken dander is a lot like cat dander and I also reacted somewhat to cat but nothing to dog!  Chigger was relieved.
My diet will obviously switch around a little too.  I won't be adhering as strictly to the no-starch thing but some of the new restrictions do overlap, like no yeast or malt, because those things are in many baked goods and so on.  But I can eat sushi again!!!  just with no soy sauce.

The bad thing is the mold and for reasons most people would not think.  Pottery clay is FULL of mold.  The type I reacted the worst to is also in garden soil and compost piles.  So, this puts a big crimp in things.  Basically, I need to find a new source of income and get away from clay.  And no, it's very difficult to wear a good enough respirator while throwing and doing clay work.  Plus, it's just an process of elimination.  I need to remove myself from it to see what happens so I can verify that is the culprit.  I also need to support myself financially while I do this.  A number of people have kinda poo-pooed by decision to leave clay but I said, after a while and you are hurting SO bad and to the point of having to inject yourself with drugs on a regular basis...it's just not worth it anymore.  There is LOTS of other art I can do and if I may say so myself, I'm pretty darn good at some of that other art.

I will not go back into construction field work either.; my feet and back cannot take that stuff anymore but I might do something related.  I'd love to do more restoration work and I've talked about that before.  There is also sales of construction materials, job photography, quality control etc.  I'm really open to a variety of work possibilities.  Just got to get out there and see what's available.  I also have to stay in clay long enough to do the show next month that I was accepted into but I'm going to see if I can back out of the one in November I am also scheduled for.

So, I finally feel that maybe I am getting somewhere.  I do have some real issues with real arthritis but hopefully, some of this is brought on by these allergies and can be corrected.

A Change Would Do You Good

WHAT?

 Don't worry girls....this change doesn't involve ya'll!  I have just reached my limit on these health problems.  Something's got to give.  I'm sick of feeling bad, I'm sick of myself even.  Sick of laying around here feeling like crap.  Sick of sitting in front of this computer all evening, night after night not having a life.
First step is I go tomorrow to have some extensive allergy testing done.  Fortunately, I have a friend who is a very good ENT that is going to help me out and do this and maybe it won't break the bank.  Or at least, my feeble little checking account.  Allen built this guy's house years ago and I worked on it some, so it does pay sometimes to have been an ol' construction worker.  If the tests come out like I think they might, there may be some big career changes for me.  I don't know what yet but ceramics may be out of the picture.  At least for a full-time job.

 I don't know exactly what I'm going to do but I know I'm tired of wasting my life.  I know I can't help that I've had these problems and it's not just something I can will away...but I've got to do something to get better.  Of course, I've been trying all kinds of stuff all along, and I'll keep on with those things until I find out what's helping and what's not.  But it's no playing around anymore.  I'm tired of this crap.  I see so many other people doing great things with their life and I just can't fart around here making a few mugs and such and call it a day.  And yeah, most of those people don't have bad health issues but everyone has some kind of struggle, physical or not.  I can't let mine run my life anymore.

 I have to insert a funny story here about Muffin, the little Silkie hen in the photos.  I've tried for quite some time to get a few good photos of her because she's so darn cute, but it's rather difficult due to her coloring and the fact that she will NOT be still for even a second it seems.  So, I was trying to get a few photos the other day while it was not raining and she just would not cooperate.  Well, I got kinda tired of chasing her all around and started taking some photos of some of the other girls, who are much easier to work with.  After a few minutes I started hearing this little chirping sound behind me and I turned around to see Muffin staring indignantly at me....

Why you stop taking pictures of me????

 She stood there just still as could be while she scolded me.  I guess for not paying her enough attention!  So, I did finally manage to get a few photos of her.  Not great, but at least she was still.

 I also finally got the results of all those X-rays the rhuemy did back in May.  Said my hands and hips are fine (except for the SI joint) but my feet show a fair amount of "changes" due to arthritis.  The top of my spine is also showing spurs and growths.  They call it "cartilage-loss arthritis".  So, you know what that means....gotta get all the hiking in I can now while my feet will let me.  They are very painful now at times but I can go long stretches when they don't hurt so much and I've got to take advantage of that.  I'm still serious about hiking to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back up again too.  Just gotta find someone that will go with me.  Or not.  I don't care at this point.  Of course, I also gotta start doing some hiking around here in Alabama!  We have some wonderful state and federal parks and I just have not taken anywhere near enough advantage of those.  So many places I want to go still.  And so many photos I want to take of those places.  I'm entering the Outdoor Alabama photo contest this year too.  I'm not terribly optimistic on that one but you never know.! 

 So, in other news, the garden has just gone to hell in a hand basket basically.  I have had zero energy to expend on it and even less after I quit eating starches.  We do have a few watermelons yet to pick and I get a few tomatoes every other day.  We have been getting tons of rain lately, so most of the maters have split, unfortunately.  The chickens sure enjoy them though.  I still expect to get some grapes also and we'll dig the potatoes.

How has your garden gone this year?  I haven't heard anyone say theirs has done really good.

Second Wind

 Actually, I think it's more like my forth or fifth wind....but anyway.  I'm still here and I think I'm beginning to see just a glimmer of improvement.  And hey, I got new chicken pictures!!  Ya'll always like photos of the girls.
 The pics are not great because I waited too close to dusk and the lighting wasn't great but they came out well enough for the blog.  Towards sundown, all the girls move down to the lawn in front of the hen house to do their last bit of foraging before heading inside for the night.

This is Ms. Ella and her sister Ms. Etta is usually not far behind.  I can't actually tell them apart most of the time but it doesn't really matter.  Ella will let you pet her though and Etta won't.

Here's a more up to date one of Rudy Roo and his two girls.  They are a sweet bunch but not real friendly as they were raised by Etta and not us.  That's okay though;  I don't need to get any more overly attached to even more of the chickens.

Ya'll may remember Muffin, one of the little Silkies we got here while back.  They are just the cutest little things ever.  Penny, her buddy, has gone broody (they are horrible about that) but Muffin has learned to come up to the house and hang with the big girls during the day.  We let her sleep next to Penny in the boxes at night but I'm proud of her for finally getting the courage to join the other girls during the day.  And boy, she gets right in there with them too, when treats are thrown out.  She gets her fair share.  She's also got stepped on a few times but she doesn't let them deter her.

This is Big Bertha Butt.  Well, just Bertha really.  She's the oldest gal we have.  I suspect she's about 8 years old but she seems healthy as can be.  She doesn't really lay anymore (maybe one egg every few months) but that's okay.  She's sweet and unassuming.  Plus, she came from a rough place where they kept her in a little bitty pen (dirt hole) with 4 other chickens and I just want her to live as long as she can out in the green grass and trees to make up for her rough start.  I don't know how much she remembers of her start but maybe she has forgotten about it by now.

Don't worry, Gertie was just sunbathing....she's okay.  She loves to sunbathe.  Poor ol' thing, she's kinda fat and when she lays down like that she just looks like a big puddle.

So, as I said, things are getting a little better.  Believe it or not, my mood is better!  and I am getting some more noticeable pain relief.  In fact, I'm sitting here typing this and it's not bad at all.  My right hip is a little sore but that's way better than what I usually experience.  I'll tell ya'll all about it a little later but basically I made just a couple of little tweaks to my treatment and I think that has been the key.  I'm still on the strict no-starch and no-diary and that's going better too.  I'm getting better at making stuff and am learning how much food I need to keep at hand (lots) so that I don't get hungry or run out of energy.  You really have to substitute LOTS of veggies and fruit in place of starches.
I joined an online group for folks with AS and that are also on the no-starch diet (NSD) and that has been a great help.  I asked them about the fatigue I was experiencing and they brought it to my attention that since we are not eating grains in any form anymore, your body is probably not getting near the B-complex vitamins that it was, since that's where most of those vitamins come from.  So....I immediately got a good B-complex with no starch and have been taking 2-3 a day to get caught up and it seems to be working.  My energy has been better and I've even been able to get back to exercising for the most part.  Not anything really strenuous and monstrous but pretty good anyway.  I still crash a little in the mid-afternoon but not horrible like I was.  I expect it to continue to improve.

And I'm back at the pottery!  I don't think I showed ya'll these new casserole dishes I was working on.  They came out real well I thought.  I was pleased with the designs.  One of the larger ones sold rather quickly after I got it in the store so that was encouraging.  I also received word that I was accepted into a big art show for next month in downtown Birmingham.  This one is an actual ART show and they even said my work scored in the top percentage by the judges so it would be eligible for cash awards.  I suspect they tell most everyone that but it was still nice!

So, I've been trying to crank out a lot of work lately.  I'm not going as fast as I'd like but I'm not doing too horrible.  Got to pick it up a notch or two though.  I want to have tons of new inventory for this show because I think it will be a good one.  It is held downtown in the swanky business district of Birmingham (yes, they have one) and is at the time of year people start thinking about Christmas shopping.  Plus, 2 of my stores have been squealing for new and more stuff so I just don't have time to keep feeling bad!!  And...if this show is a good and profitable one, we can go to the beach!!!  And I really, really NEED a beach trip this year.

Carry On

I thought I'd do an update to the last garden post because I may have made it sound as though it was a crash and burn situation and actually, the garden is doing pretty well.  I finally managed to get some recent photos too.  Of course, no tomatoes right now and if I get any this year they are going to be really late coming in but other than that things are doing well.
These are the new pole beans this year; Kentucky Wonder.   No actual beans yet but it shouldn't be long.

We are very fortunate here in that if something screws up a first planting, our season is long enough to try again.  And try again is what we do until it just isn't going to work anymore.  So, the second planting of corn is doing very well.  Yes, the farmer down the road already has ears tasseling on his corn but we will get a good crop this year.  And the farmer's market will tide us over on corn and tomatoes until ours comes in.

I think I'm going to have a "do-over" on the squash too because those volunteer plants finally produced a product and I'm not sure what the hell it is!  It sorta looks like a squash but it also looks like it might be part something else.  The plants are also kinda funky looking as they are running way more than squash plant should.  I suspect I'll be pulling those up shortly and putting in a couple of bought squash plants.  If I can find any this late.  If not, well, I might plant something else.
That's the thing with gardening, you have to be willing to go on to Plan B or C or even D sometimes.  I don't stress over it that much.  If my crop doesn't do well I will go to the market or just try something else.  I might not get to make strawberry jam every year but I'll have some kind of jam, and lots of it, every year.  So, you do what you can.
Right now we are harvesting blueberries, cucumbers, a few onions, sugar snap peas, lots of herbs and eggs of course.  We obviously don't try to be self-sufficient but we do try to make a fair dent in what fruits and veggies we buy and preserve.  Later on we should have corn, okra, black-eyed peas, green beans, tomatoes (hopefully), eggplant, peppers, grapes, figs, watermelon and cantaloupe.  Oh, and the wild blackberries are starting to ripen, so I'll gather some of those. 

 And I occasionally harvest a few daylily buds for stir-fry too!  I try not to use my fancy ones but instead, use the scads of the old, standard orange daylily that you find everywhere.  They are very sweet and tender and make a nice addition.  I'll  say this though, if you want to try it, add them at the very end of the stir-fry because it doesn't take them long to cook and they are easily overdone.

I thought I'd share a few of my other day lilies that are blooming right now.  We did not go to that annual sale this year that the local nursery has and where I get my collection from.  I just didn't feel like it.

The kiln is cooling now and hopefully the morning, or really afternoon, will bring to light a nice firing and I can deliver a new batch of pottery to town.  At least I can get out to do that.

Purple Haze

I didn't really notice until recently that I have, apparently, such a penchant for purple flowers!  I really like red too but don't have as many of those.  Or I guess they just are not blooming at this time of the year.

So, I'm feeling a little better, although not totally over the debacle of that last show.  I finally got in to see the rheumatologist this past Friday, after waiting on that appointment for about 6 months.  Unfortunately, it seems not to have gone so well..  I could be wrong and it was just my mood talking but I don't think so really.  I was hurting pretty bad the day of the appointment and then had to sit for over an hour past my appointed time because he was late.  Actually, I only sat a little.  I literally could not take that pain so I stood in the waiting room and in the exam room.  No one seemed to notice.

I was rather amazed by it all because I've never had a bad experience at Kirklin but this one made up for all the others I guess.  The nurse's aide acted like she wished she was anywhere on this earth but at work, the doctor never acknowledged being late, no apologies for the wait and had about as much personality as a washrag.  I tried my best to be friendly and even joke around a little but that went over about like a turd in a punch bowl.  The doc ordered several blood tests and some X-rays but told me basically, not to get my hopes up for a diagnosis.  He said only about 50% of the time do these tests show anything conclusive so it was pretty much a crap shoot.  That was nice although I guess it was good that he was honest about it.
The lady who did my X-rays was super nice though and that helped some. 
 

So, I think I have pretty much given up on going to the doctor.  I don't see the point of it anymore.  I went this time because I was thinking that, if I ever need in the future to apply for disability, having an actual diagnosis is paramount.  And, of course, I was hoping that maybe there could be some treatment besides an ablation or just something I could use on occasion for this pain. But, it appears that once you say you don't want to take steroids that they kinda just write you off.  Or something; hell I don't know.  No one but Dr. Nabors has ever even asked me what was I doing for pain and they are quite aware that I am in a fair amount of pain on a regular basis.  Maybe they think I'm gunning for narcotics?  I guess that is probably common these days but not the case with me.  This doctor did seem kinda surprised that even the pain clinic didn't do anything for me or offer me any alternative besides the ablation.  They did drug test me and even after finding out I had nothing in my system still did not suggest any other treatment.  They did charge the hell out of me though and my wonderful insurance decided that they would only pay a fraction of it, so now I'm still paying off a visit that was basically for me to pee in a cup and talk to 2 doctors for maybe 20 minutes combined. 

And please know that I am NOT ranting against the doctors (well, a couple of them I am) ; it's mainly the insurance's system of only caring about how much money they can make.  I have met several really good doctors, I have great respect for those.  Dr. Nabors and my gynecologist, Dr. Summers.  Two great guys that truly care.  But I've met some shit heads too, to be fair.  They are in every profession.  And I suspect that liability has gotten so that nobody is willing to say anything definitive or give you any treatment unless some test show practically 100% positive results.  I also realize you don't want somebody that just blabs out everything like one doctor I went to that suggested (out loud to me) that I had everything from a brain tumor to hepatitis.  But I don't see where it's unreasonable to say, well, we've ruled out all this, and it really looks like it could be this, so let's try a little bit of this treatment and just see if it helps any.  Not this shrugging of shoulders, no advice and wanting me to come back in 4 weeks so they can shrug their shoulders again and charge me for it.  If I could just get something to help me out on these occasional bad migraines I get I would be ecstatic.
I also realize that I may not be expressing myself correctly to these doctors to indicate my need.  I have come to see that I don't always interact socially the way most people do and there could be some problem there, but I don't know what else to do.

So, that is ultimately the final straw.  I simply can't afford to go to the docs anymore for not even a suggestion of help.  Heck, I don't know that I could afford to go even if they did a little.  My insurance company has raised my premiums the past 2 years to the point that I truly can't afford to pay for much of anything above my monthly statement.  Couple that with the fact they don't fully cover many blood tests now and have stricter policies about what applies to your deductible.  I used to never have problems meeting my deductible but last year, despite what all I went through, I only met about one third of it.  And that's the real kick in the teeth and shows you just how screwed up our healthcare is (and how corrupt).  The pain and issues with my bones and such keep me from fully working as much as I normally could at times.  I don't work as much, I don't produce as much, I can't sell as much, therefore I don't make as much money.  So I can't afford to pay so much for medical care that might could help me get back to where I could work as much, so that I could better afford to pay for it.  Got that?  What a racket!

And before anyone suggest I sign up for the new ACA insurance...I've already tried, two years in a row.  They said I made too much money for me to qualify for a subsidy, which is the only way I could afford the new policies they want everyone to switch to.  Which, by the way, cover less than I have now (no dental) and would raise my deductible on some of them.  Nothing about our healthcare system was "reformed"; what a total joke.  The only thing that changed was that now, more people get government assistance to pay for their insurance.  And I'm sincerely happy that those people get help.  But those of us in the middle areas are getting screwed over more than ever, especially if you are self-employed.  Insurance and medical costs are just as high, if not higher, than they ever were.  That is why you can literally travel to another country, have surgery or whatever treatment (and good treatment too!), hang around for a while to visit the sites and come home, cheaper than you could have it done here at home.  Now, I don't know about you...but to me, something just ain't right about that.

So, that's my mini-rant I've had on my mind for some time now.  Basically, I've just said, fuck it.  I'll try to take care of it myself.  I'm truly grateful to the 2 doctors that have tried to help but unfortunately, my issues are not their specialty.  Well, Klippel-Feil is nobody's specialty!  No one even knows what it is.  So, I've been doing much research and am trying to go as anti-inflammatory as possible in my diet and supplements.  This new doctor did mark "non-specific spondylitis" on my chart too (which I had to look for; he would not tell me), so I'm just gonna kinda go with that and assume those treatments I can do myself, like exercise and diet.  I know an excellent, local herbalist who has helped me out in the past and I'll get some stuff from him too.  I'm now taking about 5,000mg of fish oil a day with curcumin and MSM.  There's some other stuff too but that's the brunt of it for inflammation.  And I have got to get religious about my stretching exercises, which did help some and keep up my regular aerobic and weight-bearing exercise, which helps prevent bone loss.  I've done real good in that regard!  I'm very proud to say I've lost about 25 pounds and hope to lose another 10 maybe!  Yay me!  I'm also avoiding milk and most milk products, peanuts and wheat.  It has definitely helped to stop the milk and we'll see about the rest.

In other news, we finally got the whole garden planted but I still have to mulch everything.  I'll try to do a garden post soon.  And we might have a few new additions to our flock...and maybe one subtraction!

I hope everybody our there is doing well!

I Get Knocked Down (But I Get Up Again)

   So, we had a beautiful 3-day weekend for the show in a very pretty area only about 30 minutes from the house.  And it was a disaster.  I won't say a total disaster, because I barely managed to make back my entry fee, gas and food, but it was a disaster from every other view.  The show had changed quite a bit from the last time I did it and I was not aware of this.  Should have done more research on my part I guess.  It appeared that people, the few that came, were mainly just looking for a nice, pretty place to enjoy a long stroll while eating a little snack food.  And buy a little SOS to keep the kids quite.  In case you are wondering, SOS is show slang for "shit on a stick"; the utter, worthless crap some vendors sell to cater to kids and relieve Mom and Dad of a dollar or two.  So, it was horrible.  I'll never go back and the next promising show within a reasonable distance is not until September.

But, this is just the impetus I need to stop trying to do these crap shows and focus on doing only legitimate art-centered shows.  Plus, I've now got a whole lot of inventory to get out to my retail stores and maybe even enough to pick up a new store I've had my eye on.  I'm trying very hard to maintain a non-crappy attitude.  Crap happens.

 Unfortunately, all the physical effort of the past few weeks, combined with sitting a good deal at this show has got my back and SI joint severely inflamed and I am in quite a bit of pain right now.  This really doesn't help matters, as you all know my attitude generally goes to shit when I'm hurting badly.  However, on a good note, I may have found out, medically speaking, exactly why my attitude goes to shit.  I found some very interesting studies done lately that I'll tell ya'll about later.  It's very depressing in one respect, as my condition will probably get worse as I get older, but gives me hope in another respect, because I might can do more to counter things if I know what is physically happening to me.

So, I'll try to post again soon, when I feel a little better.  I'm taking a few days off to recuperate and get caught up on a few things around here, like to finish planting the garden.  I washed 3 loads of clothes today and still am not done!  Got to clean house a bit too and get my studio back in a reasonable order.
See you soon!

Late Nights, Early Mornings

It has been and is still quite busy around here, what with getting ready for my first show and all.  I've been cranking out pottery as much as I can, firing non-stop .
I have had time for a break here and there to snap a few photos of stuff going on.  And there is much going on in addition to show prep.

The male grosbeaks finally made an appearance!  I was very thrilled with this photo, btw.  They may be gone by now but over the weekend we were the hotspot for northern traveling birds!

 I know that this is a crappy photo but I wanted to show more than one at the feeder.  As a matter of fact, I counted 5 males at one point but couldn't get to a camera fast enough.  They are a little skittish about having their picture taken.

And Mama decided the 3 bitties that first hatched were enough and has been moved to the apartment with the little run so they don't have to worry abut the big chickens.  When they get a little bigger we will let them go out in the yard but for now this run is great.  And there really are 3, just can't see one for big Mama being in the way.

Random photos of things blooming now.  The peonies are always a delight.

My clematis is doing very well...finally.  It looks to be loaded with blooms this year.

And these iris are making a comeback after not doing so well last year.

We have managed to plant some of the garden.  So far, we have the okra, tomatoes, potatoes, cabbage and eggplant in.  In addition to the lettuce and asparagus which are doing really well this year.  Got a few ripe strawberries today too but their bed is in much need to redoing.

I really loved the lines in this photo and the crazy thing..... I didn't notice any of that while taking the photo.  It didn't strike me until I had downloaded it.

So, back to the grindstone!  Not sure if I'll get to post before the show, which starts Friday.  Wish me luck!  I could really use it.

Get It While You Can

Just a photo heavy post showing a little of what's going on around here.  The rains have slacked up a bit (even tho it's actually raining as I type this) and some warm sunny days have snapped the garden into production.  We have very little planted right now but hope to remedy that by the end of the week.  Looks like we are going to have waaaay more blueberries than we'll use this year!  I still have 2 bags in the freezer from last year.  It's a good problem to have though.

The lettuce in the asparagus bed seems to be dong well.  Time to plant the second wave.  The asparagus is doing really well too.  We have a constant supply on hand this year.  Maybe even enough for me to freeze a little for later.

The flowers are all doing well too.  Not a tremendous amount blooming right at this moment but that should change soon.

I don't know how much you can tell from this photo but this is one of my tea plants.  I have 3 left, out of 6.  They have not grown much over the past 3 years but this year they have put out a ton of the little new leaves that you actually make the tea from.  I am really going to try to pick some this year and experiment with actually making tea.

I tilled up part of the garden today in preparation for planting and the girls rushed in, while they are still allowed in, to bathe in the fresh, cool soil.  They really seemed to be enjoying themselves.

All except for Ms. Ella that is, who has gone broody for the umpteenth time, but since we actually have a rooster this year....we are going to let her sit on these eggs.  She has wanted to be a mama for so long I just didn't have the heart to take her off of them.  I hope some of them actually hatch for her!  We joked about it quite a bit because we are not sure that Big T is.....uhh....always hitting the target, let's say.  He falls off on his head sometimes but who knows?!  He may be a regular Don Juan of the chicken world.  Haha!

All the little songbirds are in the mood for love too!  Quite a lot of squawking and various activities.  Our regular bluebird pair has already hatched out one brood in the house in the garden, so we put up 2 more bluebird boxes around the place.  This one is behind the house and can be seen as you look out the kitchen windows.  The other day a bluebird pair was very busily building a nest in it, which is when I took this photo, but I have not noticed any activity since then.  Maybe they decided they didn't like it after all?  It is a good distance from the others so I don't think that is a problem.

I've noticed quite a lot of new (to me) birds around this year since we moved the feeder closer to the house.  At least 2 types of grosbeaks!  I think this is a female rose-breasted grosbeak and I also saw a male blue grosbeak but my photo of him did not turn out as well.  He also didn't stick around long but Ms. Grosbeak here stayed around for 2 or 3 days and was very laid back about photos; she didn't mind at all.  The indigo buntings have arrived also and I've been trying to get a good photo of them but no luck yet.

I also found out I was accepted to the local art fair here, so I'm going full-tilt now to make enough inventory for that.  The show is May 8-10 so I don't have long!  Hopefully, it will be profitable and worth all this effort lately.