Saturday, December 25, 2010

White Christmas

For some reason, I have always placed an almost mystical notion on the idea of a real snowfall on Christmas Day. I suppose because they are so rare for our region. And because snow itself seems to possess such a heavenly quality. The all encompassing quiet that settles over a place when it is covered with snow, is mesmerizing to me. It is like peace takes a physical form and coats the whole world in comfort. As some of you may know, Christmas has a spiritual meaning for me and over the past few years I have fought hard to bring some real feeling back to this holiday so ruined by rampant materialism and greed by so much of our society. I wanted Christmas to come without the help of any packages, boxes or bags, to quote the great Dr. Seuss. That simple childhood story sticks in my mind so every Christmas and I suppose I let myself foolishly be drawn back to the ideas I had as a child about snow and Christmas. See, a good bit of what I witnessed as a child was not exactly happy. Much of it involved other families but still, it was close. As children, we were told Christmas was special; the one time Heaven came to Earth. The one time we could speak face to face with God. In my childish mind I combined that idea with the peace that so naturally comes with snow. If it would snow on Christmas it could blot out all I saw that was hurtful and for a time anyway, the world around me would be at peace, just like the story says. If it snowed, then maybe God was still listening. I know that is all silly but kids imagine lots of things and I was a pro at conjuring any idea that helped me believe my world would get better one day.
As I grew up I abandoned my thoughts of such things, too busy with surviving the real world. Work got in the way anyway. Most of the time I had to work on Christmas Eve and I was too tired to put much thought into anything besides pouring concrete and how much overtime I could work. In the last few years though, I noticed those old thoughts creeping back into my mind. Of course, spending the last three years in my new house, always alone on Christmas, might do that for you. You know, you often question yourself in life, did I make the right decision here or there? Should I have done this or that differently? And I found myself wishing for snow again. What a stupid thing! To think the universe would use it's powers to shower me with this magical process on a particular day. It didn't owe me anything. But the little kid's voice kept whispering....if it would snow on Christmas maybe it would be a sign that I was where I was supposed to be. The peace that the snow would bring would simply be a reflection of my home here. If it would snow on Christmas, then maybe, God had been listening to me all this time after all.

I woke up a few times Christmas Eve night. That happens you know, when you get older. As I tiptoed through the bedroom I would sneak a look outside. The moon was still full enough to cast a good light over the land and I could see that the yard was still barren. In fact, the moon even being able to shed that much light told me that there were few clouds in the sky. Ah well, maybe next year. I snuggled back in beside Jack. At least there was a warm man beside me this night that I actually enjoyed being with. We woke up a little late, maybe around 7:00, the ground still bare, so I promptly set about to make coffee and fix our Christmas breakfast while Jack stoked the fire back up. It was sort of a funny thing then. I looked up through the kitchen windows and suddenly some of the largest snowflakes I've ever seen came tumbling down, blotting out the trees in the distance. I remarked to Jack that it seemed as though it was simply waiting on us to wake up. He agreed. And, even though the air did not feel anywhere cold enough, the snow began to lay. Not just on the deck and the tree limbs, but on the ground and in the garden. It waned on and off after a while but it always came back, harder than before and with those same huge snowflakes. Now, we didn't get near what some of ya'll up north would consider a decent snowfall. I wasn't going to lose my way walking to the wood pile or anything. But it covered the ground and that peace and wonderful quietness descended over my valley and it wrapped me up in it's arms. I had seen a white Christmas.

I believe I wrote a post a couple of Christmas's ago that said I hoped to one day wake up on Christmas morning next to a warm man and receive a gift of a sparkling thing that was not a toilet accessory or a tool of some type. As I sit and type this, I wear a sparkling item around my neck. Something I have rarely ever received. A gift from the warm man I woke up with this morning.
I hope you all had a wonderful day and don't forget; we have eleven more days of Christmas to celebrate! I'll be back tomorrow with the Second Day of Christmas.


Sissy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sissy said...

Wishes do come true! I am so happy you are happy Annie. Things sound perfect for you today.

I could wish for you to get several :>0 inches of snow but I won't because it would mean more for me here.

Yes, it is above the doorsill this morning and still coming down.

Happy holidays, dear.

Ha, the word verification for this is "winatur"

Sun Dec 26, 05:46:00 AM

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

Annie, this was a wonderful post. A wonderful post, Annie. The true meaning of Christmas does get lost in all the commercialism. The best "gift" for Grenville and myself was being at home, cooking then sharing dinner with friends, then watching the snow fall on Christmas Day - like in A Christmas Story - the perfect ending to a joyous day. Glad yours was so very happy. You deserve it!

ignatz said...

So glad to see snow on your blog, so nice to read your happy words---Merry Christmas, see you ARE doing something right!

Island Rider said...

Oh, I am so happy for you! Sparkles in your heart, around your neck and in the air. Merry Second Day of Christmas.

PS Mugs and bowl well received. Oldest son, who is not easy to please, remarked how he liked it and had his coffee in it yesterday.

AD said...

Glad you got your Christmas wishes Annie! Bout time!

JoJo said...

Hi Annie,
Glad you had a very special Christmas. I understand your feelings very well. My Christmas was good too. But how I long for that snow again on Christmas. I keep thinking about going up to the little place in the White Mountains just to see it snow. Maybe one day I will make it happen.
In the mean time I, will be greatful for all I, have and love and remember those, that I, have lost in a very short time.

Richard said...

Christmas wishes do cometrue. Merry Christmas Annie !

ezrablu said...

This is one of the most touching posts I've read in a long, long time. I loved Christmas time my whole life. Always put a tree, decorated the house, baked piles of goodies. Then something happened and while I'm not sure what,it was as if my eyes were opened and Christmas was not the same anymore and for the past 8 to 10 years it's become a sad, dreaded time where I feel mainly disgust than anything watching people in the stores with long shopping lists to fill. This one was one of the toughtest to get through.
Merry Christmas, Annie, and thank you for this very wonderful post.

Jenn said...

A little Christmas magic for you.

Blessings small and large.

ErinFromIowa said...

Aww... I am so happy for you. Wonderful words used to express your thoughts and feelings today. Touched my little Grinch-y heart.

edifice rex said...

Hey Sissy! thanks! I hope you had a peaceful holiday too!

Hey Beatrice! thanks so much! yes, that type of gift is the best of all.

Hey Page! thanks! Merry Christmas to you!

Hey IR! thank you!! and so happy your son liked the mug!

Hey AD! thanks!! lol!

Hey Jojo! thank you! yes, you should see snow again!

Hey Richard! yes, they do! Merry Christmas!!

Hey ezra! thank you very much. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I have become quite disgusted myself. that is why I decided just to make it into what I felt it should be and not play along with the others. So sorry you have had a rough time this Christmas. Peace to you.

Hey Jenn! Magic indeed!

Hey Erin! thanks! yeah, it got my little Grinchy heart too! lol!

countrypeapie said...

love love love this post

edifice rex said...

Hey Pea! thanks!!

Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

I am glad life is good for you.

edifice rex said...

Thank you Philip!