Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Night Before Christmas

 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the kitchen
Not a creature was stirring, not even Basement Chicken.

 The stockings were hung by the fireplace with screws
In hopes that Jack would notice the cues.

 The chickens were nestled all snug in their coop
 And I was trying hard not to step in their poop.

 And Jack in his T-shirt and I in my slip
Had just settled down for some nog and some lip
When out in the woods I heard such a ruckus
I fell off the couch and landed on my tuckus!
Away to the door I hobbled kinda quick
Flung open the same and stepped on a stick.

When what to my blurry eyes should appear
but a big goofy bloodhound and eight giant deer!
With a yip and a yalp and a howl so loony
I knew in a moment, it must be stupid Ernie!
More thunderous than cattle, here they all came
I cursed and shouted and called him such names
You dumbass, you stupid, you lousy ol' cur!
I'll beat you, I'll choke you (just joking)
if you don't get outta hur!!  (that's redneck vernacular)

So up through the valley they all did run
With Chigger in hot pursuit
If only I'd had my gun.
But I did hear him yelp as he ran out of sight
and I laughed at the thought of how Chigger can bite!


So Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!


Pablo said...

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

Very cute take-off of a classic tale. Loved the originality and personal touches, Annie. Grenville and I wish you and Jack, the chickens, and Chigger a wonderful Christmas and good New Year ahead. We have enjoyed meeting you in blog land.

Island Rider said...

Merry Christmas to you as well. Hope to post later, but we have lots to do this morning.

HermitJim said...

Happy holidays, you rascal! I sure enjoyed the Christmas story and the pics that go along with it!

Made me smile this morning!

MyamuhNative said...

Merry Christmas to you and Jack and all the feathered and furred kids!!

edifice rex said...

Hey Guys! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Joyeux Noel!! I wish you all the best and a prosperous New Year!

Sissy said...

What! You're a poet and I didn't know it.

Merry Christmas to you Annie and Jack too.

I sure liked the scene on the card. Thank you.

I'm heading out to find some leftovers from the party last night.

edifice rex said...

Hey Sissy! Yum! leftovers!! hope you had a very nice Christmas!