Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Rebirthing

All of you that have come here for some time, and who have good memories, will know that on Wednesday I turn 46.  These days I'm okay with admitting my age and with being my age.  That came about the same time I quit coloring my hair.  I've had some real struggles over the past few years, so getting bent over being a year older is kinda silly to me now. 
If we remember back to the "word" posts, one reader gave me the word 'peace' and I think this post would draw on that idea a great deal.  My initial thought, when it came to writing about peace, was to expound on my valley here.  The environment, the woods, the flowing creek.  But then I realized, I write about that all the time.  Or at least show photos.  I don't know that my clumsy wordsmithing could properly convey the tranquil air of this little holler anyway.  Everybody knows however, the peace of place does not always mean peace of person, and vice versa and I've wrestled with a few things over the past couple of years.  Struggles often teach us things about ourselves though, if we'll pay attention, and I think maybe I'm finally getting a grip on some things.
I accept that I was born with some messed up parts and that some of the parts hurt me badly at times, despite the doctors saying they shouldn't.  (I don't think the parts listen to the doctors)  I will probably never find out exactly what's wrong in some areas but I hope they do make discoveries for the people yet to come.  I'm also grateful the stick I drew isn't any shorter than it already is.  I have it a lot better than some folks. 
I accept that some people are just not going to support or believe you when you have a rare medical problem.  Some people are going to laugh or ignore you.  But some people are wonderful and will always be there for you.
I accept that it's going to take me a while yet to finish this house.  I think I was 38 when we first started digging the footings.  That's a long time to build a house less than 1,000 square feet and I have, theoretically, another half to go.  This used to bother me a great deal and it apparently bothers a number of other people too.  Thankfully, most people have quit giving me advice on how to finish it.  But then one day I realized, well, if I wasn't building my house I'd just be building something else.  It's the process I enjoy.  Now, that's not to say I don't want to be done with the majority of it.  I do.  And I understand why it has taken me so long.  Working full (over)time, sometimes out of town.  Illness.  Life.  I have made a pledge to finish both halves before I turn 51 though.  Ya'll remember that.  I made my 40 year pledge of living in my own house, so I can do this one too!
I accept that most people are not going to agree with me on the way I live my life or my philosophies.  I have always been odd, so I should have accepted this a long time ago.  I hope that one day people care much less about STUFF and giant houses and crap and more about enjoying life and our short time here. Until then I get to be the quintessential southern "eccentric" and have a great time not keeping up with the Joneses.  I will admit though that I need to accept my inner freak just a little more.  Maybe I'll dread my hair with chicken feathers or something. 

So, that's just a few things I came up with for now.  I'm gettin' kinda sleepy and don't feel like writing anymore tonight.  For my birthday though, ya'll have to tell me what YOU have been up to lately!  What's going on in your world?

12 comments:

ErinFromIowa said...

I will be visiting the Ewing Park Lilac Arbetoreum with a friend today. I will think happy birthday thoughts for you Annie!

woodysrockyridge said...

I believe it's in our nature to always be building. If I'm finished with one I will return to another to correct what I learned from the last.

Today I will be running a locomotive back and fro through the beautiful Wentzville yard. All the time spent thinking about what I would rather be doing in the garden or finishing a little corner of the barn or garden shed or smokehouse.

Happy Birthday Ann!

Pablo said...

I agree with your personal philosophy. I've always admired you and your grit.

I'm just doing the same old thing each day. Running a lot, which I guess is a significant new development in my otherwise sedentary life. A little traveling next month.

Ed said...

Happy Birthday Annie! 46 is just getting started because I'm less than a handful of years from reaching that age.

You were 38 when you started building your home and I'm past that and haven't even started. But I've always felt that building my home would be what I just do for a hobby for the rest of my life when I start. My wife thinks that philosophy is already in place because I'm almost three months into the bathroom remodel. I tell her Rome wasn't built in a day and neither can her bathroom!

texasann said...

Annie - I do so enjoy your views on life and how you live it! Would that we all could enjoy what we have and be grateful that we don't have more! Today I will work 1/2 day and be grateful for a job. I'll see my doctor for a surgical follow-up that still swells tremendously after 7 months, but be grateful that I have insurance to cover the greater part of the costs. And then I'll plan the next trip (this one to Lake Tahoe) with Hubby and friends, and be grateful that I have both.
Happu birthday!

Richard said...

Happy Birthday Annie !! Way up north here in Minn. we are just starting to get some buds on the trees, so that means catching up on yard work.

Rue said...

Hello Annie,
Happy Birthday!
My best friend who is also my sister was born in the Merry Month of May, and now I learn one of my most favorite bloggers also has that claim to fame :)
I enjoy your writing so much and although I don't blog, I'm so glad you do.
Many happy returns,
Rue

HermitJim said...

I wish you all the best on your special day, my friend!

Happy Birthday!

JO said...

Happy Birthday Ann!

Your still young compared to some of us old people. I love the part of your house that is finished with a few tweeks here and there. I'm glad you can except what it is and know that you will finish it when you can. I love your property and your little stream. You have done so much there.

I came to be happy in my home maybe a little paint here and there in the master bed an bath. The outside will get painted in the fall. I will miss my stays in the mountains but I'll figure out something I'm sure.

It's all about being happy with what we have not what we want. Age makes you see things in a new light.

Be happy have a wonderful Birthday.

Anonymous said...

Happy Belated Birthday Annie!

I often wonder where time has gone. I hit the double nickel in March. I realized today that yesterday, I graduated from high school 37 years ago. Wow. I still remember parts of that night. It felt good to be on my way. I thought I was grown. Hah!! Not sure we ever are and life seems to be an unending lesson. So I just plug along.
The buntings have left us. I rebuilt a gate for the old dog yard, which now houses my mini garden and work, and now the days are longer, sitting on the porch after work and enjoying the birds and green and warmth.
Tammy in LA

edifice rex said...

Hey Erin! Ooh, what fun! hope you had a great time! and thanks!

Hey Woody! thanks! Yeah, I think it's in many people nature to build, but not everybody! lol!

Hey Pablo! Aaww, thank you. Your determination to keep running has inspired me to try it again. My feet don't always allow but they seem to be getting better.

Hey Ed! Thanks! yeah, a lot of people start much later than me, and I remind myself of that often! "Finishing" this place will be a endless process I think.

Hey Ann! Thank you! well, being grateful is something I have to constantly remind myself. Hope your surgery complication is resolved soon! I have a friend who had the same thing and they finally got it fixed. :)

Hey Richard! thank you! good to hear from you!

Hey Rue! thank you so much! I'm glad to enjoy the blog.

Hey Jim! thank you!

Hey Jo! thank you! yeah, getting older helps us see lots of things in a new light. lol!

Hey Tammy! thank you! yeah, life has many seasons, just like the earth. I enjoy sitting out on the deck too, watching the birds and all.

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

Belated Happy Birthday wishes, Annie, from Grenville and myself. Enjoyed catching up here. Age is just a matter of mind and we passed yours quite a few years ago. Strange thing is we don't feel much different, although notice we sometimes take a bit longer to get things done. Your house is your project and who cares how long it takes to complete as it is definitely a work in progress. Hioe you have a wonderful year ahead.