I think I have crossed a new line.....yep. I now reside in the country of NoGivaShitastan. I have tried everything imaginable, I have worked as hard as I can to stay optimistic and yet every day I am exhausted to the point of tears and it just gets worse. I hurt every minute of every day. And yes, I can tell I'm hurting even in my sleep. It wakes me up all night like a little insistent monster wanting to be fed.
Maybe find a job that lets me travel a little, or at least get out of the house, and afford to go to the beach once or twice a year. I don't want much. Just some peace and quiet and half a day without mind-numbing pain.