I'm So Open

I get a lot of comments of people saying they are amazed at how honest I am on this blog and I find that observation interesting or compelling. Maybe it's just them trying to find a nice way to say, "you're freakin' crazy to tell some of the stuff you do!" lol! I don't know but that's okay if they are thinking that. I find the observation interesting because I don't think of myself as being all that open or I think other bloggers, some of who make this comment to me, seem to be very honest themselves. I'm guessing what prompts people to say this is the fact that I will tell you all the defeats and discouragements as well as my victories. Of course, Southerners are well rumored to hide some of the most hideous truths behind immaculate table manners and social graces. And in my life I must admit to actually seeing this on several occasions. Hey, maybe that's it; I'm completely lacking in the social graces so I don't have the wherewith all to try to present myself as something I'm not.
I think basically I just don't see the point in presenting only a rose-colored view of myself if I want to make any real connection to people. Oh, I could get up here and act like I'm some kind of Martha Stewart/ Rosie the Riveter mutation and that I never mess up, break anything or have any other problems. But what would anybody learn from that? Oh, I know there are plenty of blogs that do that and that's fine; most of them are really good for technical knowledge. But what about heart knowledge? You all know as well as I do that the poor soul that has been through the mill is always a much more respected adviser than the little goody-two shoes that has seemingly never had any problems in their life. Hey, I'm willing to show how screwed up things are here because I want to show if I can get through it and still make something of it then any one of you out there can too. Life is a screw up. But you have to keep trying. I think a lot of times though I am talking to myself more than ya'll and I truly appreciate your encouragement.

I realize I don't have to tell you about my health problems or my frustration at not being able to get laid but hey, that's part of real life too and it kinda makes for some funny stories. There may be one other person out there that might read something I write and say, "thank God I'm not alone or at least I'm not that bad off!" and feel better about themselves. That is fine with me. If nothing else maybe I can make you laugh and shake your head. That girl's so silly! Heh!
Another part of it is from something I remember from when I was young. I was in junior high and, like I told ya'll, we had to take a half a year of home ec. and the other half in shop. Well, we built rockets in shop and mine just happen to fly the farthest and in home ec. we made aprons but my Mama had already taught me how to sew, so mine came out a little better than some of the other girls. Now, there was a very popular cheerleader in my class and one day when she saw my apron she threw hers down in disgust and blurted out, "this is not fair! you can make anything and the rest of us can barely put any of it together.!" I was shocked at first that she noticed what I could do but what she didn't realize is that I would have traded any number of my physical talents back then to have had whatever it was that made people....likable or popular. I mean, I had plenty of friends in school and such but was considered very different and somehow this was not always good. I still find myself thinking sometimes now that I would trade some of the things I can do for whatever it is that makes people more approachable or whatever. I'm not going to say 'normal' because that is not it but you know, not so odd. Many times in my adult life I have had women tell me, "Oh, I wish I could do what you do". Yeah well, maybe you do, maybe not. A lot of people we admire often feel less than adequate about many things themselves. I believe I lack something in my disposition that makes people 'attach' to me. I think some people think I will look down on them because they cannot do some of the things I can. Even some men. That's just such bullshit. Most of the time I wish I could do something they can. So, my point for telling some of my social catastrophes is just to say don't be jealous because I can weld and do all this other crap, because I am lacking many of the things that really make life worthwhile. Is anybody really going to remember and give a shit that I built this house when I'm gone? But I'm betting your kids and grand kids will remember all the great times and love you gave them, so don't put yourself down because maybe you can't get the hang of soldering copper pipe or knitting a sweater. Being Ms. (or Mr.) PerfectCrafty isn't always what it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you about this: you know I went shopping and I bought a cute little yoga tank top. Fits kinda snug and sexy like. Rarr! So, I try this thing on when I get home and yeah, it fits good, so I go to take it off and there's where the problems start. Now, my shoulders and upper body are a lot more muscular than most women's and yeah, it looks nice but I've paid for it. I got this way partly through hard work and now my joints don't work so good. So, I get the top up around my head, with my arms wrapped up in there too, and I literally can't pull the top off, so I'm stuck. My shoulders are just too weak in that position trying to pull. Now I'm practically rolling around on the damn floor trying to extricate myself from this stupid top and Grendal is running around nervously making little noises because I guess she thinks I'm suffocating and I just start laughing. I could just imagine if this had been in some 'heat of the moment' kinda thing with some gorgeous man. I'll tell ya, I've never had trouble getting my clothes off before in that situation! He would have thought I was some kind of freak. 'Course, I guess he would have been helping but still...it was ridiculous. I finally ended up pulling it down and stepping out of it.

Anyway, all I'm saying is that everybody's life has validity and purpose and we should not be ashamed of ours, warts and all and share if we feel comfortable doing so. My hope is that someone out 'there' can find something of use in my bungled up, often times funny way of looking at life.


*Cowboy Junkies

Sunshine Day

Well, turns out I did not have to work this Saturday after all so I decided it would be a good thing to take advantage of this and go see the exhibit of artwork by our favorite blogger, Rurality! and another friend of ours, Sharon, although she is not a blogger. Not yet anyway. We keep trying to lead her down that frustrating path but so far she has eluded us. All of us are also members of our informal group, the Blount County Bloggers, along with MountainMelody, MegPeaPie and Laurie, who used to have a blog but no more. We get together a couple of times a month or so basically to eat and rail against men and hear what the last country Melody has visited. That and they like to hear what other travesty has befallen my love life since the last time we met. Anyway, it is a nice little show at the Birmingham Botanical Gardens and then you can go visit the gardens!

If you live anywhere in Alabama and have not visited the gardens I would highly recommend it, although I might wait until slightly cooler weather. Not a lot is blooming right now although it is still very interesting. It's a beautiful place with several different sections of gardens. I love the Japanese section but there is also an Alabama woodlands area (looks just like my place), a conservatory, a large section devoted entirely to roses and a Southern Living area (new to me). It contains a wonderful assortment of plants that are native or like growing in our climate.

The Japanese area is very serene as you might expect. I love the stone work here. Or lack of stone work maybe. Anyway, how they are arranged. I wish my company built stuff like this. Well, now I wish they built much of anything. Okay, I'm not getting back on that subject; not now anyway.

It had been a few years I guess since I had seen all the gardens so I took my time and wandered through the whole place. Well, they were about to have a wedding in the rose garden so I just walked through quickly. Damn people in love. Bleh.

I like this critter. I hope to have some more sculpture out and about on my place. So, afterward I went and did a little shopping on the way home. And yeah, yeah, I know what I just wrote a couple of days ago but I did actually need some stuff and there were some good sales going on this weekend. All I bought was one more set of sheets for my new bed, so now I have 2, and a couple of blouses for going out. I mostly have work clothes and am real bad to talk myself out of buying anything for dressing up and then sometimes when I want to go out I'm caught with not much to wear. Or wear the same thing over and over. So, I bought a couple of nice things and hopefully they will not rot away before I have a chance to wear them. But as you see, I do go out and socialize whether I'm with someone or not. I also went to a gallery opening a couple of weeks ago to shed my blue collar for a while. That was fun and I talked to several nice people.

So, today I worked on staining my pantry cabinet and just messing around the house. I hope to get the cabinet finished soon and will have photos shortly. Then I'll just have to pour the countertop. It is still horridly, freaking hot here so I have just been staying inside. It will cool off a little shortly and then I will get back on the siding. Oh, and tomorrow they are delivering a one-ton concrete pipe section for my well renovation, so that will be interesting. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures as I do that.


*Osibisa

Just When You're Having Fun

Well, I am just sad, sad, sad this evening. We heard today at work that our last full-time concrete finisher is leaving us. Work is so bad that they have had him driving a dump truck on our job, so he found another job with a competitor. Now, for reference, many of our finishers used to work for a couple of different companies at once because pouring concrete is not something that is always done every day. However, our company was once big enough to support probably a couple of dozen full-time finishers. Those days are long gone. He is going to stay with us long enough to finish pouring the sidewalks on the job I'm on now and then he's gone.

We were once so proud and such a good company. We were some of the highest paid carpenters in the biz and still are really. Everybody wanted to work for us. Now, we can't compete with all the others that work nothing but Hispanics for $16/ hour. We were a family. I've thought all day about so many of the guys I have been privileged to work with. Dal, Daddio, Jimmy, Dominecker, Anthony, Big Daddy, the Cobbster, Daddy Rabbit and all the others. Damn, we had some fun. Most of the stories I won't even write here 'cause I know I'd offend a lot of people but we loved working with each other. And we could work like hell; it was nothing to pour three, four hundred yards of concrete at time. That's 40 of the trucks filled to the brim. We had a helluva time at the railroad. The Cobbster was the boss there. At lunch we would all eat in the trailer and he would have us laughing so hard I thought we would fall out in the floor sometimes. He's retired now and I heard he had another 3 stints put in his heart this past week.
Jimmy was a labor foreman years ago. He's passed away now. We like to have gotten run over together trying to direct traffic in downtown Birmingham. Now, he was one of the most unattractive men I've ever known but he always used to brag about being, well, hung. I remember him popping off one day about having 12 inches. Dal busted out laughing. "Yeah, Jimmy, if you measure it like you measure a cat's tail; from the tip to your butthole." I know that's crude but they were so damn funny.

We would nail each other's tool belt down to the floors or bolt their toolboxes down. Or fill all the pockets up with sawdust or rocks. That's what you got for not wearing your tools. One time when I was just a little apprentice I was on the Cobbster's job. I was wrecking some forms and inadvertently chipped the edge of the concrete. Now, he was very particular about his concrete and he saw me do it. He pulled out his pocketknife and held it up to me. "I'll cut your throat if you ever chip my concrete again", he growled in all seriousness. Man, those were the days. He was also one of the most generous men I've ever known. He took good care of his men.

But we are all slipping away now. A few each week or every other. The company might stay around for a few more years but it will never be like it was. We used to hold around 350 carpenters. Now, we might have 25. It's hard to explain the camaraderie of construction unless you have experienced it. One minute you might be cussing someone toe to toe and the next laughing and carrying on. It's not faked though. I think it is as real as it gets. Lord, I'm going to miss these guys. I think I will be one of the next to go. I'm actually the highest paid carpenter on my job, even above the foremen, and in today's market, that ain't good. They got to cut those costs! Most of the guys are already looking for other work. I'll hang on as long as they will pay me but I think the time is drawing very near. Probably the end of this job will be it. Maybe not but it's not looking good. Hell, they even let our personnel manager go because we don't have any personnel left to manage.
The guy on the left above is Head, whom you have heard me speak of before. His head and his feet are about the same proportion, his feet being about a size 13. Thus, the nickname. His little boy turned 3 today. Bama is the guy on the right. He is our crane operator and a real sweet guy.

T-Dog, the guy in the middle, leaves tomorrow to go to a short term job in Tuscaloosa. When one of us leaves a job we always say, "See you on the next one". I told him I would like to say that but wasn't sure there would be a next one. I taught half these boys welding as part of their apprenticeship training. They used to try to get me to go mud wrestling after class so they could win money by betting on me. They were sure I could put anyone down in my weight category. There's so many stories I can think of. They would always put me out when I set myself on fire welding but in the next breath be ragging me about eating tofu and shopping at Wal-Mart. Anthony and Head standing behind the Switchman acting like me (goofy) to try to distract me while I was talking to him. Of course, he could not see them but I could and they would be prissing around with their chests thrown out. I remember going to a company Christmas party and dancing with Hippy. Someone once described Hippies' dancing as a cross between buck dancing and a seizure. They were pretty damn accurate in that but we had a blast and to hear his tales of his younger days and his unfortunate encounters with some Texas Rangers will just make you sore from laughing. They don't call him Hippy for nothing.
This past two weeks I have woken up several times in pain in my joints and muscles. The work is getting to me more and more. I have to take pain meds more often. But I'll hold out as long as I can to work with these guys just a little longer. Hell, we might even go mud wrestling.


*Cock Robin

Head Above Water

I have been trying for some time to get a good photo of these cows down the road from me. They have been seeking any relief they can from the heat lately and this little pond is one of their favorite tricks. It has taken me so long because I either don't have my camera with me on the days they are in or they are not there when I do have it. One other time we did sync but they jumped out about the time I got close. I think today they said the hell with it, we're staying put. Now, before anybody freaks, I've seen the little ones get in before and they always get back out okay. This is not as good a shot as what I see in my mind but it will do.

I've been thinking about that post I wrote a couple of days ago about finances and I had a few more things to say about that. First, I always feel kinda stupid writing stuff like that and here's why: I know I have several major advantages that lots of other folks would have trouble employing to build their own house and so I feel kinda silly saying, 'yeah, do this like I did!' First, I work in an industry where free material is easy to come by for us. Secondly, I am fortunate enough to be thought highly enough of by many men in higher positions so I also come by free stuff that way. The men are very generous to me. And before anybody gets all smarmy, no, I do not sleep with any of them to get it. Well, I used to sleep with Allen but that was a long time ago. Heh. Anyway, there have actually been a couple I really would have liked to have paid back that way but they really were just being nice. Thirdly, I was born with a strength advantage over many women; I know I am much stronger than a lot and this helps me build things by myself. Fourthly, I don't have the kids to pay for and this is a major thing. I can spend my money and time on whatever I want. And lastly, I just seem to have good mojo; things work out for me. One friend told me once that I was 'magic'. For instance, things just worked out that I got another acre of land that I had been wanting for $14 and I didn't even have to ask for it really. There are many more examples but for privacy reasons I can't really say, just take my word for it. I keep hoping this 'magic' will bring me a male partner (notice I did not say husband necessarily) but I think my mojo is broke in that area. Everything works out except for that! Oh well.
Anyway, I don't go around telling people how they need to live or conduct their lives but a lot of people ask me how I manage to do these things, so I will tell them in that case because I realize also that a lot of the things I have accomplished have been through sheer hard work and determination and that is something anyone can do. However, a lot of people don't want to hear that. I pains me to see how that living on borrowed money had become so ingrained in our society that the vast majority of people truly believe there is no other way. You must borrow money or you won't have anything. Now, please believe I do not look down on anyone who has a mortgage. There is nothing wrong with that if it is within your means and that's the way you want to do that. But we must relearn the fact that there is ALWAYS another way to do something. You do not have to keep doing what everyone else does. I wonder what has happened to that American spirit of enterprise and flat out gumption. A construction worker knows, there is ALWAYS a way. To be honest, a lot of it for me is this: I work way too hard for my money to give a big part of it to some filthy rich banker or corporation that wouldn't piss on my head if I were on fire. I work for Annie. That blood running down my arms some days is spilt for me and I am going to keep all of that paycheck I can to spend on things I want. Not make a payment on some CEO's Mercedes.

I also feel stupid babbling on and on about shunning some material possessions in order to focus on people and relationships. Yeah, for all the good that's done me I think sometimes I should have just been blowing my money on wine, men and song, so to speak. I've got nothing to show for all these years of trying very hard to appreciate a good partner. Hell, it's a major event if I go out on a date. I guess if nothing else I can be a warning beacon for those who are fortunate enough to have a mate. Do I sound kinda bitter? Well, sometimes I am, dammit, to be perfectly honest. I am a hell of a good woman and would treat a good man well. It kinda reminds me of the couple that most of us know. You know, the loving young couple that would make wonderful parents but by some sucking twist of fate, can't have kids. While around the corner, folks that literally should be sterilized can breed like rats. You know you've seen people like that and thought the same way. And I don't begrudge good people that have found happiness with someone, honestly I don't. I am very happy for them. I just really wonder sometimes what is wrong with me.

So, I guess that is why I don't write a lot of posts like that. I feel like a fraud on some things. I honestly believe in these things I preach but I realize nothing in my life works like most other people's do, so I wonder if I can really have anything to offer someone else, even advice.

Joy

I got my pantry cabinet today!! Yea!!! I'm so happy. I had to enlist Allen to go pick it up because we are now on 10 hours a day at work so I have virtually no time for such. Anyway, this makes me feel so good. Now when I lose my job I'll have lots to work on here! ha! Speaking of such, they let 3 more of our superintendents go yesterday. I think we are in the final downward spiral.
But on to happy things. These cabinets are maple and yes, there is no finish on them. I'll do that myself so I can use as natural a finish as I can. Not sure exactly what I am going to use. I am very pleased with the quality of these and they were made by a local craftsman. Lowe's couldn't even get in the same ballpark on price or quality. I am also going to pour concrete countertops for all my kitchen cabinets.
The sides are meant to be open; I like open shelves and very minimal styling. And now I can put the flooring down!! Yea!!!

The only thing is I may have some trouble convincing you-know-who that these are not meant for a perfect little hidey-hole.
Well, work was hot today. I think it was 100 degrees actual temperature today with the heat index about 110 or so. It's been that way for several days here. I got to weld all day out in the sun too and when I weld I have to wear two shirts to protect myself from the radiation. One t-shirt and a long sleeve denim over that. Plus big leather gloves and a welding hood. Amazingly, it didn't bother me that much. That is how acclimated to heat I am I guess. I mean, I was hot but I didn't feel bad. However, since I welded galvanized steel I did drink some milk when I got home in an effort to not get the fever that you can get from inhaling the fumes off that stuff. I was tasting the telltale sweetness in the back of my throat by the end of the day. I did have a little wind that helped me out with ventilation also.
I'm tired though so I'm off to bed.


*Lucinda Williams

Pay For What You Get

I've been trying to come up with a series of posts that have a little more substance to them; some that explain more how I am able to do some things and my philosophies for building and self-sufficiency. I get a lot of people that wonder how I am able to build a house out of my pocket and avoid having a mortgage. Well, first let me say that, as ya'll know, I don't have any kids or family to incur extra expenses so I know that I am able to do some things that other would have a very difficult time with. Some of my practices could maybe help those with families but I'm not going to find fault or criticize those with kids that don't do some of the things I do because I have no right to judge. I also am fully aware that I have received some incredible gifts in my life. Let's just say some men have been very generous to me, for whatever reason, and I owe much to them for helping me.
Now, to begin with, I saved my money for about 10 years before I started building but even then I only had enough to black the house in. And to be fair, Allen did contribute some money at that point, which I am trying to pay back, but I have paid for everything else from that point. Which is about $22,000 at this point but it has not been a burden or even a particular hardship to pay for the house as I go. Now, by most of our society's standards I probably live a deprived life. I find it quite full and enjoyable myself but ya'll know I'm a little weird.
Basically, I live (or try to) by the words of William Morris, "Do not keep anything in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." (I think this could go for keeping men too, heehee) Anyway, this simple mantra helps me to live a frugal, uncluttered life, which, in turn, saves me money. It is my heartfelt belief that our society has become so empty in it's soul that most people grasp desperately for any material possessions they can get, in an effort to fill a void that they cannot understand. We text each other constantly but can't sit down and have a real conversation with that same person. We claim to embrace God but as soon as the service is over we rush out to gorge ourselves on unhealthy food and the latest sale of stupid shit we don't even need. Now, this is a whole 'nother post so I'm going to get back to my facts but this is a sickness that has enveloped America. A sickness that is driving a large portion of our neighbors into out -of-control debt, misery and broken lives. Even if you are not trying to build a house, now is not a good time to be up to your eyeballs in debt. Well, it never is but you know what I mean. Things are not getting better as our government would like us to believe. I will probably be out of work again in a matter of weeks myself. But here's is the thing: I can handle it because I have no debt.

How do I do this, you ask? Well, several ways. Probably first and foremost, I don't shop unless I truly need something and I mean really need not this 'I feel down and buying something will cheer me up for about 30 minutes' stuff. Now, ya'll know I hate Wal-Mart (and that's a whole 'nother post too) but basically the propaganda that those places spread, that you NEED to shop there to have a good life, is revolting. I hear so many people say, " they have so much stuff I never knew I needed!" Naw, if you didn't think about it, you didn't need it and Mal-Wart is laughing all the way to the bank while you try to stretch your paycheck 'til next week. The little $20- 30 trips to the store a few times a week for junk adds up big time. I don't even shop at thrift stores unless there is something specific I'm looking for. It all boils down to this; you don't need that much to live and live happily. You don't need 16 sets of sheets for one bed. You don't need 50 pairs of shoes. You need a dry place to sleep, a little food each day, something to work to make yourself feel useful and a loving pair of arms, if you so desire. That's it.
Now, granted I do have a fair collection of tools and I even have artwork and music to enjoy but I USE everything I have. If I don't use an object for 6 months to a year (and it's not a seasonal thing like Christmas decorations) I give it to someone who can use it or sell it.

Secondly, I have only the most basic of television, phone and Internet services and I've ranted on this before. Get out and make a life instead of watching someone else's. Trust me, from what I see on TV, those peoples lives should be hid from public view instead of celebrated. When you are lying on your deathbed, are you going to say, "oh God, if only I had seen the last season of the Sopranos!?" I hope not. I do not text or do anything on my phone other than occasionally talk and I don't pay for that crap either. I am a cell phone reps worst nightmare because I don't even want the stupid camera on them but you can't really get them without it nowadays.

I try to grow at least some of my own food or buy locally grown food which is usually cheaper and I use every bit of it. To have to throw out food makes me sick. I take my lunch to work every day and the guys are always peeking over my shoulder to see what good meal I have, while they eat prepacked crap that is way more expensive. I never buy lunch food that is 'individually packaged' for lunches. That crap is way more expensive if you figure the price per ounce. Buy a damn box of baggies and reuse them. That's another thing I do. I don't like using plastic but we are not allowed to bring glass containers onto a job site so I kinda have to, but I can make a box of baggies last a year. Just wash them out and hang to dry.
I don't go out to eat all the time either. This helps me keep my weight down and saves money too. I make a lot of my own cleaning supplies and even some makeup and skincare items. You can get the basic ingredients for very little.

I use cloth napkins and dust rags. I wait for sales and specials to stock up on staples such as cooking oil, pasta, flour etc. I eat leftovers until it is ALL gone. I maintain my tools and truck instead of just letting something tear up on it and it costing me hundreds more. And speaking of vehicles, I don't go buy a new one as soon as I pay off one. I drive my trucks until they fall apart but of all the stuff I buy, I always try to get the best quality that I can afford. I do not buy cheap shit because you do get what you pay for. I buy the best quality I can and take care of it!

I also barter for some things or work when I can. This can go a long way. I've done several post or reclaiming free building material and that has also been an enormous help.
Now, I do a lot of this stuff because I learned the hard way. I have been in debt and I didn't like it. The freedom and peace of mind is much better. And I have at times thrown money up a wild hog's ass on some stupid shit but hopefully, I learned better. However, don't sit there thinking I live in a threadbare, little hovel. I have great artwork and a still growing, major groovin' CD collection. Ya'll know how I like music. I do not deprive myself. I have just learned what is important to me in life and what is not. I eat well and even occasionally splurge on a pair of small, handmade earrings, which I adore. There are also a myriad of other ways to save money that I know I have not mentioned but I think that just learning what we really NEED as opposed to what we WANT is one of the major keys to being debt free.


*Dave Mathews Band

I Am Like A Bird

While I was mowing today I found yet another feather. It was laying at the base of the Switchman's sculpture. I have noticed that birds love to perch on that sculpture and survey the area, so I was not surprised to find physical evidence of their presence. It appears to be either a hawk or owl feather, although I think maybe the latter. When I worked at the railroad job, there was a resident hawk that we often saw and he/ she regularly hunted a grassy hillside very near to the job. He would perch on some low hanging power lines to scan for mice and such and it was easy to get a close look at him. The Switchman and I loved to watch the hawk and would always point him out to each other if we had the opportunity. We were enchanted at how the hawk just seemed to dismiss the lumbering engines despite their noise and heat. I have not seen the Switchman himself in some time now.

Work work (as opposed to home work) continues 6 days a week now, so progress on the house is on hold for a little while. My pantry cabinet is ready however and I must find a way to go pick it up. I may have to enlist Allen, as he is here in town during the business day. I am very excited to have that because the pantry can be completely finished shortly. Well, I'm off to sleep!


*Nelly Furtado

Tigerlily

Look at this!! I found this today growing just behind the house; you can see it from the kitchen windows. I have no idea what it is. I just said tigerlily because that is what it reminds me of, but I wonder if this is some wild, native species? I never planted anything in this area because I'm still doing dirtwork here. In fact, I could see the last cut I made with the Bobcat and I just missed this by about 18 inches. And, as far as I know, this area was never part of an old homestead.

It is so pretty and exotic looking. I'm sure somebody out there can give me an ID on it. I'm going to keep my eye out for any more of these plants. The stem is very distinct as the main part grows straight up from that circle of leaves near the bottom. That's kinda odd.
I have just been astounded at the variety of flowers that have popped up here since I have cleared some areas. I wonder how long they have laid dormant, just waiting for enough rays of sunlight to coax them forth. Just like most all things in our lives have their own time and circumstances before they are ready to come into being.


*Natalie Merchant

She Has No Time

Hey everybody! I have really been trying to get some time to post again but things just keep going on. Which is good but I do actually have some decent posts in mind I think. Not a lot has been going on at the house. It is so freaking hot here I have somewhat taken a break from outside work. Gonna see if it will cool down just a bit in a week or so before I get back up on that roof. I have been piddling around in the garden and a few things like that. Mostly I have just been working and we were told today that we will be on 6 days a week until the end of the job most likely. However, the end of the job is only in about 5 weeks so that's not really that long.

That's okay with me because we don't know what is going to happen after this job and I want to make all the money I can.
The man I went to dinner with this past weekend visited one afternoon this week and I have a dinner with some friends tonight, so it's almost like I have a social life! Well, the man is interested in installing solar power also and we have been experimenting with a panel and equipment, seeing what we can do with it. Been listening to a lot of Stevie Ray Vaughan lately. If you are not familiar, or even if you are, do yourself a favor and go to this link and have a listen. Just beautiful.

This is my view on part of my way home from work. I am scrapping for pics lately since I haven't been working on the house or anything. I thought the clouds were pretty cool. Okay! Got to go shower and scoot! Be back soon hopefully!

Sweetheart(s) Like You

I think it's kinda funny that I end up using a good many of Bob Dylan's song titles when I don't really care for his music. Maybe I like his music but just not his singing of it, if you want to call it singing. At any rate, he does have a few songs I can tolerate and most all of them have interesting commentary hidden beneath his caterwauling.
Thank you all for the kind comments from the last post. I tried to answer everybody's comments on that one. I forgot to mention that while I was sick and down with my back, my computer also crashed and so I was without Internet access until about Tuesday. That was just about as well as I couldn't really sit up at the computer for any time to speak of. It's just been a barrel of laughs lately around here.
I also meant to post again right after that last post but I've had company both evenings and just haven't had time. Now, before anybody gets all worked up, it wasn't anything like what that might sound like! Dammit. Fred had some relatives visiting from California and they wanted to come see the house after I got home from work on Friday. They were wonderful, friendly folks and I enjoyed visiting with them. Then, I had to work yesterday, which is crappy working on a Saturday for straight time, but I needed to make up for Monday anyway. I did actually go out to dinner and a movie with a real, live, human male last night though. So see, I do get out and have some semblance of a social life when a decent offer arises. I am not dead set on working my life away.
The photos are just a few things I saw of interest this morning while out on a short walkabout before the heat became too oppressive. I liked the shadows cast by the ferns on that piece of flagstone.

My dragonfly population is enjoying a resurgence lately. This is very good because for a while the deer fly were becoming a nuisance again but they have fallen back down due to the constant monitoring of the dragons. Wonderful creatures they are. The dragons that is. I love these green ones and their glass-like wings.

The cayenne peppers I showed ya'll a while back are starting to turn. The green one just fell off; I didn't pick it. These are some of the largest I think I've ever grown. And finally, a picture of my hand and it's not caked with mud or grease or some other grime! I can clean up!

While I was out hanging a load of fresh laundry out to dry, I noticed this tiny feather on the ground at my feet. I was kinda fascinated with it because it's blueness varied according to what angle you were viewing it from. It was perfect in it's simplicity. I always think of feathers as little gifts from the birds. A little token from the feathered spirits to us earth-bound creatures to remind us to keep trying and looking up. It takes the sum of the bird's feathers to make it able to fly; it can't do it with just 3 or 4. In the same way, it takes the sum of all our small accomplishments to eventually get us to our goals. All the things we want to do in life are just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again, to just keep striving. Luckily, just as the bird won't fall to earth if he loses a few feathers, a few failures on our part won't ruin us for life either. We might fly kinda wonky for a little while but things will straighten up. Funny thing, I have found several pristine feathers lying on the ground lately.

I also mentioned in a recent post that a friend had brought me some fine whiskey lately. It was actually two bottles; my fav #12 George Dickel and the Knob Creek. I also got a sample of the Marker's Mark '46', which is excellent. This is in addition to the excellent home brew that our crane operator likes to bring me. This bottle of cognac was given to me yesterday by the superintendent for the electricians. I've never tried the stuff so don't know much about this. I'm beginning to wonder though what kind of vibes I must be sending out to be receiving all this liquor as gifts. I swear, I don't go around talking about it and these men don't read my blog. While I do have an occasional shot of a good whiskey, my days of having to hold on to the floor are over. I only got that drunk once and that was enough. And I was married at the time so that kinda explains that.
Now, a fine liquor, if they know you drink, is an old, traditional gift in construction, at least among the older craftsmen. It's how they show their appreciation and admiration, so I guess it proves that I am truly accepted among the men. That or they're trying to get in my pants,... hell, I don't know. Ah well, either way I get some good gifts! heh!


*Bob Dylan

Here I Am

Hey Folks! I didn't mean to be gone so long. It's a long story but about the time I made that last post I came down with a very bad summer flu, I guess, and was really out of commission for a few days. Then, over the weekend while I was still very sick, my water system finally made it's last gasp and I was forced to drag myself out of bed to hand dig the well back out. Thankfully I had brought a gas powered water pump home from work, in anticipation of this happening, and was able to keep the water down low enough to work. Allen and I took turns descending into the well to shovel muck out. The water in that spring is so cold my feel actually went numb from the cold, but, on the bright side, I have plenty of water now. And if that wasn't enough, when I was carrying the pump down to the spring, I slipped and fell and me and the water pump went bouncing down the hill together. I didn't let go of it for some reason and also ended up cutting my knee open. That wasn't that bad, believe it or not, but between the fall and the digging I severely aggravated my old back injury also and had to spend most of Monday laid up on a heating pad. So, I've just been out of sorts and wore out lately. Plus, when it's just you and you're sick, things like the dishes and clothes don't get washed and I have spent a couple of days getting all of that back in line. But everything is okay now.
But ya'll know me; I ain't right. When things get discouraging sometimes I tend to wander off in the woods by myself for a few days to think about things. I was going really good and making some progress on the house and then it all just blows up. I haven't made any progress on anything the past couple of weeks but it will come around again.
I've been a little unsure what to write about anyway. Often times I feel like the 'Giant Rat' of the blogosphere fair. You know, just something silly and slightly amusing to pass the time. I have been trying to put together some ideas for some posts of more substance. Something that really explains what I am trying to accomplish here. Anyway, time for bed now and I've partaken of a bit of some fine whiskey a friend brought me, so my thought s are wandering everywhere right now. Just wanted to drop a line in case anybody was wondering where I dropped off to. I'll be back.

*Al Green

Free To Be Me

Sweet Darkness

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.
 
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
 
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
 
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
 
is too small for you.

~ David Whyte ~

A friend sent this to me today. It was kinda just what I needed to see. I liked it.

Subtle Lament

Thought I'd show a few pics of what going on around here with the garden and such, since I haven't made anymore progress on the siding. Hopefully that will change this weekend at least. However, I'se not feeling so good tonight so this is going to be a quick post. My heart has been showing it's 'O' today and that combined with welding in this heat has got me tore down a little.
My cayenne peppers are really kicking some pepper butt though! I only have two plants but they are both loaded. I like to dry these and use them throughout the year in cooking.

My two blueberry bushes are showing promise by already putting out new shoots of growth. You can see this by the much lighter colored tips.

This is a native plant I have shown on here before but I think it's really cool this time of year. I did not edit the colors in this photo now. It really is almost white on the upper tips and then gets darker as it goes down. It's almost like it's frosted. This is what we refer to as Mountain Mint. It can be use medicinally and has a wonderful aroma. It grows very prolifically here and so I let a few sprout up in my driveway flower bed. The deer won't touch it.

It gets it's whitest coloring right before it flowers in mid-summer. The flowers are tiny but very pretty and the bees seem to like it. The plant can get around 5 feet tall.

Now, here is some garlic I harvested recently. It is some heirloom type that was given to me and that's all I know. You see I got 4 nice, regular looking bulbs there but then there were scads of these humongous, single clove bulbs. Are those just immature bulbs? Should I have left them in the ground? I can just replant them in the fall, can't I?
Alright, I'm going to crash in my new bed, which is great by the way..


*Duke Ellington/ a beautiful song; one of my favorites.

High Hopes

This is what I spent so much money on this weekend! I know it's probably not anywhere near what you were imagining either, heh. You know, all these self-help gurus and such always say you have to imagine and prepare for the life you want; go on and proceed through life as if you already have what you want. So, this is a new queen-size, fancy-smancy Serta bed. Natural latex padding from real trees even. Big enough for me and a good size man. Kinda like the 'build the baseball park in the cornfield kinda thing'. You know, build it and they will....okay, there is no way I can complete that sentence without it sounding nasty. Anywhoo, you get the idea! Haha! It's a joke people!! Sorta.
Actually, my back has really been in a bad way lately and I was sorely overdue this bed. The back pain was actually waking me up before my alarm. That's not good. If my back is out of commission then I'm out all together so I just had to bite the bullet and get this while I am still working and can easily afford it. And do you know, that after spending all this money I didn't even get one of those cute little sheep with the number on it's side. I love those things!

I admit I did not hit one lick at putting the siding up this whole weekend. I did go buy what I believe will be enough for me to completely finish though. I worked my butt off in the garden and yard, cleaning up and mowing and weed-eating. Just generally taking care of lots of little maintenance issues. Maybe during the week I can muster the energy to do a little siding work.

*several people have done songs with this title.

Still Crazy After All These Years

Holyyy moleee, I spent some money today. Despite being female I just don't like spending large sums of money. Damn thing better do me some good. I'll show ya'll later.

Grendal insists on sitting in my lap now every time I get on the computer. That would be okay if I could teach her how to type, so that I could just sit here and dictate and she would do all the work. She doesn't seem too interested in that so far.

It's very boring on Saturday nights if you don't have anything to do. What are all of ya'll up to?? Anything exciting? I've thought about getting my nose pierced.


*Paul Simon

Lately

Oooh, lots of wonderful things have been going on around here lately. Well, maybe not all of them wonderful but at least productive. I believe I have recovered from the burn-out I suffered last year and have really been enthused about finished many things. I didn't get much garden planted this year but aren't these maters pretty! They are doing really well. I may even try canning some in the following weeks.

Is this not a thing of beauty? One thing though, that is kinda odd, is that this is supposed to be a Rutgers and the Beefsteak tomatoes, which are kinda supposed to look like this, are generally small and smooth. Oh well, they taste fantastic. Makes you want to go into a grocery store and just start slinging all those tomato-like things they sell against the walls and run around screaming "Anarchy!"
What? Ya'll don't have thoughts about doing stuff like that? I bet you do.

I also had a very nice man come out and grind three stumps for me. This was a big one very close to the house that I needed out of the way so I can start installing the flagstone patios and walks. Yay!!! But I'm not sure what to do with the 'leftovers' from these stumps. It is pretty evenly mixed dirt and wood fibers. I thought it might make good garden soil after the wood decomposes? Anybody ever used this stuff before? What did you do with it? I want to remove it, since it will partly decompose, and fill the hole with just dirt so it will compact good. Oh! I also had another nice man come out and give me an estimate on what he would charge to build my kitchen cabinets. I'm just going to have him build the pantry cabinet now, as that is what I can afford right now. It will be about 3 weeks before he is able to start though, so you'll have to wait some for pics.

I got quite a bit done on the clerestory siding over the holiday weekend but I ran out of material once more. I'm very excited; I think it's going to be great! I will be so glad to get off that roof! But at least my butt is getting a good workout going up and down that ladder so much.

I also started on mortaring and stacking this stone wall for my kitchen/ herb garden. I've still got to come up another 18 inches or so to be high enough though. Allen had a good idea to make it tiered. I think that will look good and then the front won't have to be so high.

Wow, that seems like a lot after writing all that down. Well, got to burn this energy off somehow and since I haven't met a nice guy lately and thereafter proceeded to get into his pants, I guess manual labor will have to do. LOL! Heck, if that's any indication on things, I may finish this house by the end of summer!
I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday; hope ya'll have a good day.

*Stevie Wonder

Different Drum

After reading some comments and such from "Story Of My Life", I was afraid that maybe I had come across as bitter or blaming towards my parents for my childhood and I just wanted to clarify that was not the case. Like I said, it was what it was. I didn't have the best childhood but I wasn't abused either; I always had enough to eat and clothes to wear and in a lot of ways my having to be so self-reliant has aided me greatly now. I just wish sometimes I had not felt so alone back then and I'm afraid now that that feeling of being on my own, forever, affects me subconsciously. I believe sometimes I inadvertently give people, especially guys, the idea that I want to be alone. That's not it at all, it's just all I know.
What I was trying to say, in addition to what I believe made me how I am now, is just that about everybody in this world is dealt at least one crappy card. It might be your health, your family, your position in life or whatever but you can't let that one, or even more, crappy cards dictate your life. With enough determination you can many times turn that crappy card into an advantage even. I had two friends growing up that were sisters. Now, they had a rough go of it. They had a horridly, abusive childhood. I saw it with my own eyes and even suffered through some of it with them, unknown to my own family. I recently found the two of them through the wonders of the Internet. The oldest one, that is my age, has done well for herself and has a good man and looks like, two sweet kids. The sister is a year younger than us and she is just the opposite. She has had her kids taken from her and is in and out of rehab all the time. Now, I am NOT putting her down. I still love my friends and feel so badly for her. If anybody has a reason to still struggle with things, it's these two. But at some point you have to just determine that you are not going to let those bad things rule you anymore. Yeah, shitty things happen to good people but you have to find a way to pick yourself up and say, well, I didn't deserve that, but I also don't deserve to suffer the rest of my life. Now, some of you may say, that's easy for you to say, you didn't have an abusive childhood and you would be right. But I have suffered through several staggering blows in my life at any rate. I paid and provided, albeit unknowingly, for my own brother's preferred method of offing himself. Have that happen and see how bad it screws with your brain. And I succumbed to it for several years. But then I said I have to go on. It was not my decision for these things to happen in my life but it is my decision in what I do now.
It may seem that I'm a little off topic but really it's still the same. When my own family said, "you should have just been born a boy" or "if you are going to be like this, you don't even need to get married" and on and on, it hurt me for a long time. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me and why they felt so determined to point it out. Just let me be me, I'm not a bad person because I can weld!! But I finally realized this was my life and they didn't have to be me, so it was up to me to make my life what I wanted. And they could stuff it if they didn't like it.

On another note, turns out I was even more correct about the 'faulty genetics' than I thought! After writing that post I just happen to stumble upon several articles about a genetic disorder that affects infant girls before they are born. Turns out, I am just one, big birth defect! I'll tell ya'll what I mean later but it does help explain 'me' quite a bit.


*Linda Ronstadt

Stars And Stripes Forever, Babeee!

Okay, I took a little liberty, ha!, no pun intended, with the title of that great work but it's one of my favorites! I hope all of my fellow Americans are enjoying and celebrating this wonderful holiday and remembering what it's all about. I have mostly worked on the house here by myself but did go have a nice lunch with Fred and Allen and another friend and then Allen and I rode around and visited a couple of other friends for a little while. So, I have taken a little time just to relax. I'm going to watch the Boston Pops special later; I always enjoy their performances.
I would recommend two other posts by fellow bloggers on this day. Jim over at Coffee With The Hermit has a good one and the annual 4th post that Ed at Riverbend Journal puts up is great. It brings me to tears every time I read it. And last but not least, Beatrice and Grenville at Frog and Penguin have loads of great pics of 4th festivities up their way. Check them out!

So, God Bless America, land that I love!!!
Oh, and you gotta check out Google's header for today; it's cool!

*John Philip Sousa

Story Of My Life

Well, first I've got to show ya'll what I accomplished today! See that? With those windows being trimmed out, all the exterior trim is done!!! Yay!! I'm so happy. I got that finished and then proceeded to get the siding started on the clerestory face. What a pain in the butt. I got into a wasp's nest (didn't get stung), I accidentally drilled a hole in my leg (don't ask; I'm not even sure how I did that) and I messed up 6 feet of siding before I got the first piece to fit BUT I did finally get the first run started and going. I cursed so fluidly and with such veracity as to make proud the heart of any construction worker, young or old. Ol' Dominecker would have saluted me.

Of course, as soon as I finish the clerestory I've got to top out this piece of a gable. It shouldn't be too bad though.

Now, back to our discussion. Thanks so much for your answers and they did shed some light for me. I think Deb, who is only a year older than me, had a good point about our generation. I think ours was the first generation that the principles of equality for women were actively applied to public schools. The 60's and 70's had fought for equal rights and pay etc. but it didn't really come into effect until about the 80's. I remember in junior high the boys and girls took turns with Home Ec. and Shop. Each gender got half a year of both. I don't remember my older sister getting to take Shop so I think this was a new policy. It pissed me because, although we could take shop and use tools, they still wouldn't let the girls weld. I have often wanted to go back and shove my welding certificate in their face. Pfffftt! Take that, you bastards! heehee, just kidding. Then in high school there wasn't much talk of getting married and kids. The girls were encouraged and given the same options as the guys. College or join the military. ROTC was popular and many of the girls joined. In fact, several of my friends joined the regular military after high school. I think there were so many options available to us girls that many of us did 'wander' a little and there is nothing wrong with that. I went on to college because it was expected in my family but proceeded to wander after that and I am glad I did really.
As I've said, I don't have a problem with being 'abnormal', if indeed I am, but the extent to which I have taken self-sufficiency does sometimes get in the way of things. A lot of it is the social conditioning of the South. Melody, you are right. To me, women here get a real mixed message. You are supposed to be feminine and love dresses and tea parties and then at the same time, if you can't put the fear of God into some man if he dares to treat you unkindly, well, they just aren't going to respect you. Kinda that 'tomboy hiding behind high heels kinda thing'. Chicory is very correct in that it will take a very secure man to stay around me. (and I can't wait to see your studio too!) In fact, I had one carpenter sit me down and explain to me that I was too self-reliant. I give the men no opportunity to "come to my rescue" and apparently many Southern men need this in order to feel manly. As one 'ex' told me, "there's nothing I can do for you (that I can't do myself) and nothing that I can say to you (that some other man hasn't already told me)." I can assure any man however, that I will gladly let him be Bug Squasher Supreme, build all stuff he wants and take care of my truck if that makes him happy. Even the glorious Switchman told me one time at the end of that job, "I thought it was really cool when I first saw that a woman was out here doing this kind of work but after I saw the kind of work you actually have to do, it makes me feel bad. I don't like to see you work like that". Well, honey, I would gladly give it up if a decent man were to come along and want me to hold a more 'genteel' job, as my heart doctor keeps lecturing me to do. Driving 100 stakes in packed gravel in 100 degree weather lost it's adventurous appeal long ago. I'll stay my ass in the kitchen and bake pies!

I think what it boils down to, is that I simply turned out to be the perfect, horrid combination of faulty genetics, an unbridled mind and a crappy attitude. You see, I was born with not only a heart defect, but a reproductive one as well. An imbalance of the estrogen and testosterone did not allow my organs to develop and keeps me from carrying a pregnancy. As best I can tell, this imbalance also provided a stronger upper body than most women, larger and stronger hands and an attitude closer to a man's when it comes to life. But yet, I like men. You know, I like men. Heehee.
FloridaCracker asked if I was encouraged to 'step outside the box' when I was growing up. Well, I wasn't actually encouraged to do much of anything but I wasn't discouraged either. My parents were told frequently that there was something wrong with me, that I was mentally handicapped but instead of trying to take extra time with me I think they just said, the hell with it and just kinda let me do my own thing. Maybe not the best way to go about it, but it worked. Because I was not guided a certain way I grew up with no preconceived notions of how things were 'supposed' to be for a girl. Now, socially this can be a problem but educationally this was great I guess. If I wanted to learn anything I just tried it. They could tell I was different and if it kept me quiet to give me a hammer to play with, then that was fine. My mom did buy me a little tool set when I was about 5 or 6 and any kind of crafty things to make stuff with. I do remember being tested often in elementary school. They would take me out of class and ask me crazy questions like, "what is the main ingredient in making glass?" I was six but I knew the answer. It's sand or silica. I used to read encyclopedias when I was little, that's all. I don't remember telling my parents about the tests. So, my mind was just free to wander and no one tried to guide me a certain way. Now, initially this might sound pretty good but at a very young age I also realized that I was basically on my own. I remember once when I was about 7 or 8, I woke up one night after a very bad storm when my sister came back in the room. A tornado had come very close to our house and my parents had gathered up all the others but me. I was left alone during the storm, and many other times also, and this kinda became the pattern for my life. I taught myself to tie my shoes, to swim and ride a bike. I taught myself to drive and got my license on my own. When a friend's mother took her to take the test, I just went along for the ride. Her Mom asked me if I wanted to take my test while we were there so I said 'why not' and passed. None of my family asked me about such things and I'm not saying this to sound pitiful; it's just the way it was. I did learn a bit in school besides the academic stuff. They taught me how to keep a check book and cooking and a few other things and if I ever had trouble in school I worked it out myself. I told my parents about some stuff but they didn't seem concerned, so I learned early that my life was basically up to me. I had the good fortune of having some very nice teachers and guidance counselors that helped me, so I learned who to ask for help. I became very proficient at watching other people to see how they did things. Now with the Internet, I can see how different my upbringing was when I read other's blogs about their life and see how they interact with their kids. I mean, I think it was about 2 weeks before my father realized I had moved off to college. I'm not kidding. Sometimes I look back now and think I did pretty darn good to get this far.
And yes, sometimes I have a crappy attitude. I get very impatient with men. Just let me do it my damn self. I know what I want, just get out of my way. I'm trying to work real hard on changing that. I realize most other women my age are married and simply don't have to do the things I do. And, as Beatrice suggested, maybe they underestimate their ability to do such or are discouraged by men. That's why they don't learn to weld or drive a trackhoe. Hell, I wouldn't do some of it myself if I had someone else willing to do it. I'd still want to weld though!
So, the combination of all these things is what made me. Good or bad. But, I figure if I've learned all this maybe I can learn that when a man tells me I look nice, to smile sweetly and simply say "thank you", rather than "what the f**k do you want?" Maybe?

To answer some of the other comments: Hayley, you CAN learn carpentry or anything else. Most all states, maybe even Alaska, have technical colleges where you can go to take courses in welding, carpentry or any of the trades. I realize where you are now may limit you to what schooling you can get however. When I was an apprentice, Bessemer Tech in Birmingham was where we went but the courses are open to anyone and you don't have to be actively employed in the trades at the same time. The YWCA in Birmingham also offers trade schooling for women only, at little or no cost, and most union halls offer schooling to anyone interested, so there are lots of ways for women to get training in any of the trades. If any of you women are truly interested in learning more, check out your local resources. Call some local construction companies and simply ask where their craftsmen get their training. You can usually audit courses from colleges also. You don't get hourly credits for the course, like if you were getting a degree, but you get to take the entire class for a greatly reduced price.
FloridaCracker, you can look here and here to see what circumstances directed me into the construction industry.

Keep Talkin'

Hey Everybody! thanks so much for all of your great, insightful comments and discussions. Keep them coming if you feel like it! Instead of answering them all in the comments section though, I want to answer and discuss in another post, which I will get to soon. However, the weather has turned so delightfully cool here that I'm outside as you read this, trying to get as much done on the house as I can. I am very close to finishing the siding and we actually got our 3-day weekend for the 4th! Yay! Anyway, I haven't left ya'll and after the sun goes down I'll try to get back to the blog. Unless some handsome man spirits me away on a romantic adventure. Ha! yeah, and I'm going to sprout wings and be able to fly up on the roof to work. I'll be back soon.

Oh, and Grenville, I did respond to your suggestions about the pantry shelves in the comments section of that post. Thanks!

*Pink Floyd

It Never Entered My Mind

So, I try to be pretty informative on this blog and do a good many 'how-to's' and such but now, I have a request of you all. I want to know something. I had a new reader ask a while back, "what made me the way I am?" Now, heh, that's a loaded question for sure but I have thought about this for some time and have formulated a theory for my current state of being, which I'll explain later. I realize truly that I am not like 98% of women. I know I'm very different. Hell, even among female construction workers I'm different. Thru the networking of Facebook, good or bad, I have 'met' quite a number of women carpenters, welders, pipefitters and so on. I have come to the conclusion that I am one of maybe three straight, female construction workers on the earth. Of course, I'm exaggerating (a little) but the vast majority are gay. I'm very straight. And I know there are tons of women that do physical things around their house; taking care of animals, gardening, even building a little shed or such. But how many you know that formed and poured the foundation for their house and welded the structure?
When I was interviewed for the newspaper article, the lady asked me what made me consider building my own house? Or something to that effect. I thought, well, why wouldn't I? It never occurred to me not to. Now, I've said many times I had lots of help, so it's not like I did it all by myself, but I have done it basically all, since blacking it in. So, my question is: why would a woman not consider doing some of the things I do? When I talk to many other women it's like it never occurs to them that they could, when it's just the opposite for me. Why is that? Women? Is it a question of physical strength? social conditioning? just not interested in such stuff? like to just see men work? lol!
Men? Do you prefer your wife not do such work?
Now, I don't really wish I were not like this but I feel many times it has made me into a bit of a social outcast and I'll explain more on this later. And everybody says, well, be proud you're different and all that, and I am, but that's easy for you to say, you know. I'm here alone for all my life and after so many years I begin to wonder, maybe I shouldn't have gone down certain paths. Maybe things would be different for me if I knew how to be more 'normal'. Now, whether that is something to be desired or not is open for debate, but I often wonder why I don't meet many other women on this path. I get a lot of women who say they wish they could do what I do, but hardly any that actually want to try. Anybody want to explain this to me?