I should be down in my studio glazing and getting the kiln ready to fire tomorrow morning but I am just pooped out. I feel okay in the mornings but by about 6:00 pm I am just worn slap out. That's an old southern saying for those of ya'll not familiar; "slap out". Why, there's even a town in Alabama called SlapOut. I think it's down below Birmingham or some such.
Anyway, I have an appointment Wednesday with a new cardiologist so we'll see what he has to say. The one I used to see retired a couple years ago and I just put off finding a new one. In some ways I feel better but the fatigue is just overwhelming at times.
I think the peas have done about all they are going to do this year and I picked and shelled until I had a enough to finally can and it be worth the trouble. I still only got 5 pints but we may buy some from a local farmer, if they still have any, so I can put up a few more pints. The girls helped me shell peas too. Well, I throw them the dried up ones and they can easily crack those open to eat the peas. It's funny, the Ameracaunas, the Hamps and the Partridge Rocks just love the peas and know how to shell them. The rest of the girls are just like, meh....even if I shell them for them they are just not too crazy about peas. They all love the oats though and every day I'll throw them a handful of the oat sheaves. They go through them and pick out the oats. It's kinda like the peas; it gives them something to pick through and work on with a reward at the end.
Couldn't resist getting a shot of Missy's bloomers while they were all working over some culled tomatoes. Missy is always so prim and neat. She keeps herself very clean.
I've been making a list and trying to think of some interesting things to write about here but when it comes time to post I just lose interest. I think it is just complete lack of energy. Still having the foggy-headedness and such. Posting in the morning might help but I feel like I need to use my energy then, because it's so precious, to do things around here, rather than just write a blog post, which does not pay me. I guess that's kinda blunt and callous but that's the way it goes right now. I know I've said it before but I appreciate ya'll who still come here to read. I guess I've been kinda sad and maybe even a little hurt at how many have dropped me since I became sick and the blog changing slightly because of that. But, from what I've been told by others who have gone through, or still deal with, long or unexplained illnesses, it's pretty common for folks to wander off and leave in real life too. Funny how that is. Even in my family, my Mom is the only one that ever asks how I'm doing or anything. Of course, over the last 20 years I've come to realize just how dysfunctional my family is, but it's still kinda sad. I know some of you also have health problems so you know what I mean.
At any rate, I'm doing the best I can at the moment and I'm working on getting better. I will get back to building eventually. I have to.
9 comments:
The basket of veggies and fruits look fantastic.
It's very true how people don't want or can't handle some one's illness. One of my daughters friends has been diabetic since childhood, he was married for 16yrs and suddenly when he needed to go on dialysis she didn't want to be married anymore. I figured she couldn't handle the complexity of the new diagnoses.
But some of us do understand and like you said maybe because we have our own medical issues. So we just hang in there and try to be there for the others.
Remember that movie with Bill Murray? What About Bob? Yeah... Baby Steps. That is what I tell myself all the time. Sometimes a day is in quarter hour increments. It does get better. Then worse. Haaaa... that's my love of dark comedy coming out there. Part of what makes it hard is you are not giving up. :)
Spooky by Dusty Springfield just came on. That song ALWAYS perks me up!
Woman, if I were able I'd run a mile for a couple of those tomatoes! A luscious basket of food.
"Neat looking butt there, Missy; I like the curls. You are a mighty fine-looking chickie". Chickens are soothing to have around, aren't they?. I can almost hear them talk among themselves like my grandmother's did. Course, I also love the morning crowing of a rooster.
I think I've mentioned the many who are suffering from dreadful fatigue, young and older that I encounter.
Somebody lied to me; what Golden years, hmm? I keep asking.
Annie, all your posts over the years are always so enjoyable. A real pleasure to read, look forward to. It seems many are slacking in blogging and commenting anymore. Maybe the shine of it has worn dull.
I surely hope some doctor finds what is causing your problems. Overload of work is my guess. Heck, you've been your own "full crew of men" for so many years.
Take the shoes off and touch the ground awhile. Draw in some energy from the earth - if nothing else, it will feel real good. I like to lie flat, ponder the sky but Oh, my aching back; now that's a problem. Is is actually necessary to push oneself so hard? For the day has arrived that I feel it wasn't and now futility and despair over my health. Just saying; darn it!
Hang in there, my friend. I think of you often.
I still come by every single day. Often more than once a day. My readership is about a third of what it was back in the day, but my only complaint is general malaise and existential dread.
I'll keep coming back. (I am your oldest reader after all.)
If some of your readers have fallen off, Annie, it's their loss. I am going back and starting from the beginning, as far as I can tell, with the first postings of the house and driveway construction. What a long way you have come! And still going ~ good on ya, girl!!
Love your pics, even the purty bloomers.....
For what it's worth, there's also a town called Slapout out in the Oklahoma Panhandle (that bit of information and a nickel will get you a nickel's worth of coffee anywhere they sell coffee by the nickel).
I read somewhere that it's best to post on a personal blog about what interests YOU instead of trying to write about what appeals to any readers, and if the readers don't like what you are writing then they can go pound sand.
Hope you feel better soon.
My dear -
I have been following your story for quite a while, yet never commented.
Have my issues with fatigue, pain, etc.
My heartfelt suggestion: allow yourself to rest as often as possible - be kind to yourself. In my experience, this helps more than any supplement.
Please continue to write as often as you can; it helps us all.
Only the best to you.
Emme
Hey Jo! Yeah, a lot of people just can't handle it or maybe don't want to be bothered by other's problems. I think mine has made me more understanding of others.
Hey Erin! haha! you always make me laugh! I'm not familiar with that Dusty Springfield song; I'll have to look it up! I have a greatest hits album of hers that I just love.
Hey Sissy! thanks! I know you understand about all this kinda thing. Since this summer has been a little cooler I have taken to sitting outside with my bare feet on the ground! I think it helps. Love my chicken girls; they are soothing and make me happy.
Hey Pablo! ha! I know you're still out there buddy (and I appreciate it)! I think everybody's readership is way off what it used to be.
Hey Ann! thanks! I think you'll enjoy reading from the beginning.
Hey Rich! thanks! well, I think I've always posted mainly about what I was interested in. Honestly, I don't know enough about other stuff to be able to write anything. haha! Readers are going to come and go no matter what you do or say.
Hey Emme! well thank you so much for commenting! Believe it or not I have been better lately about resting during the day when I feel like I need to. I don't really like it ...but I do it. ha! I will continue to write too!
Still coming here daily looking for your words and pictures.....LOVE those gorgeous bloomers.
I'm in for the long haul....write what you want....I'll read...maybe I'll even try to comment more.
Hope you can perk up to your satisfaction.
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