Pay For What You Get

I've been trying to come up with a series of posts that have a little more substance to them; some that explain more how I am able to do some things and my philosophies for building and self-sufficiency. I get a lot of people that wonder how I am able to build a house out of my pocket and avoid having a mortgage. Well, first let me say that, as ya'll know, I don't have any kids or family to incur extra expenses so I know that I am able to do some things that other would have a very difficult time with. Some of my practices could maybe help those with families but I'm not going to find fault or criticize those with kids that don't do some of the things I do because I have no right to judge. I also am fully aware that I have received some incredible gifts in my life. Let's just say some men have been very generous to me, for whatever reason, and I owe much to them for helping me.
Now, to begin with, I saved my money for about 10 years before I started building but even then I only had enough to black the house in. And to be fair, Allen did contribute some money at that point, which I am trying to pay back, but I have paid for everything else from that point. Which is about $22,000 at this point but it has not been a burden or even a particular hardship to pay for the house as I go. Now, by most of our society's standards I probably live a deprived life. I find it quite full and enjoyable myself but ya'll know I'm a little weird.
Basically, I live (or try to) by the words of William Morris, "Do not keep anything in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." (I think this could go for keeping men too, heehee) Anyway, this simple mantra helps me to live a frugal, uncluttered life, which, in turn, saves me money. It is my heartfelt belief that our society has become so empty in it's soul that most people grasp desperately for any material possessions they can get, in an effort to fill a void that they cannot understand. We text each other constantly but can't sit down and have a real conversation with that same person. We claim to embrace God but as soon as the service is over we rush out to gorge ourselves on unhealthy food and the latest sale of stupid shit we don't even need. Now, this is a whole 'nother post so I'm going to get back to my facts but this is a sickness that has enveloped America. A sickness that is driving a large portion of our neighbors into out -of-control debt, misery and broken lives. Even if you are not trying to build a house, now is not a good time to be up to your eyeballs in debt. Well, it never is but you know what I mean. Things are not getting better as our government would like us to believe. I will probably be out of work again in a matter of weeks myself. But here's is the thing: I can handle it because I have no debt.

How do I do this, you ask? Well, several ways. Probably first and foremost, I don't shop unless I truly need something and I mean really need not this 'I feel down and buying something will cheer me up for about 30 minutes' stuff. Now, ya'll know I hate Wal-Mart (and that's a whole 'nother post too) but basically the propaganda that those places spread, that you NEED to shop there to have a good life, is revolting. I hear so many people say, " they have so much stuff I never knew I needed!" Naw, if you didn't think about it, you didn't need it and Mal-Wart is laughing all the way to the bank while you try to stretch your paycheck 'til next week. The little $20- 30 trips to the store a few times a week for junk adds up big time. I don't even shop at thrift stores unless there is something specific I'm looking for. It all boils down to this; you don't need that much to live and live happily. You don't need 16 sets of sheets for one bed. You don't need 50 pairs of shoes. You need a dry place to sleep, a little food each day, something to work to make yourself feel useful and a loving pair of arms, if you so desire. That's it.
Now, granted I do have a fair collection of tools and I even have artwork and music to enjoy but I USE everything I have. If I don't use an object for 6 months to a year (and it's not a seasonal thing like Christmas decorations) I give it to someone who can use it or sell it.

Secondly, I have only the most basic of television, phone and Internet services and I've ranted on this before. Get out and make a life instead of watching someone else's. Trust me, from what I see on TV, those peoples lives should be hid from public view instead of celebrated. When you are lying on your deathbed, are you going to say, "oh God, if only I had seen the last season of the Sopranos!?" I hope not. I do not text or do anything on my phone other than occasionally talk and I don't pay for that crap either. I am a cell phone reps worst nightmare because I don't even want the stupid camera on them but you can't really get them without it nowadays.

I try to grow at least some of my own food or buy locally grown food which is usually cheaper and I use every bit of it. To have to throw out food makes me sick. I take my lunch to work every day and the guys are always peeking over my shoulder to see what good meal I have, while they eat prepacked crap that is way more expensive. I never buy lunch food that is 'individually packaged' for lunches. That crap is way more expensive if you figure the price per ounce. Buy a damn box of baggies and reuse them. That's another thing I do. I don't like using plastic but we are not allowed to bring glass containers onto a job site so I kinda have to, but I can make a box of baggies last a year. Just wash them out and hang to dry.
I don't go out to eat all the time either. This helps me keep my weight down and saves money too. I make a lot of my own cleaning supplies and even some makeup and skincare items. You can get the basic ingredients for very little.

I use cloth napkins and dust rags. I wait for sales and specials to stock up on staples such as cooking oil, pasta, flour etc. I eat leftovers until it is ALL gone. I maintain my tools and truck instead of just letting something tear up on it and it costing me hundreds more. And speaking of vehicles, I don't go buy a new one as soon as I pay off one. I drive my trucks until they fall apart but of all the stuff I buy, I always try to get the best quality that I can afford. I do not buy cheap shit because you do get what you pay for. I buy the best quality I can and take care of it!

I also barter for some things or work when I can. This can go a long way. I've done several post or reclaiming free building material and that has also been an enormous help.
Now, I do a lot of this stuff because I learned the hard way. I have been in debt and I didn't like it. The freedom and peace of mind is much better. And I have at times thrown money up a wild hog's ass on some stupid shit but hopefully, I learned better. However, don't sit there thinking I live in a threadbare, little hovel. I have great artwork and a still growing, major groovin' CD collection. Ya'll know how I like music. I do not deprive myself. I have just learned what is important to me in life and what is not. I eat well and even occasionally splurge on a pair of small, handmade earrings, which I adore. There are also a myriad of other ways to save money that I know I have not mentioned but I think that just learning what we really NEED as opposed to what we WANT is one of the major keys to being debt free.


*Dave Mathews Band

I Am Like A Bird

While I was mowing today I found yet another feather. It was laying at the base of the Switchman's sculpture. I have noticed that birds love to perch on that sculpture and survey the area, so I was not surprised to find physical evidence of their presence. It appears to be either a hawk or owl feather, although I think maybe the latter. When I worked at the railroad job, there was a resident hawk that we often saw and he/ she regularly hunted a grassy hillside very near to the job. He would perch on some low hanging power lines to scan for mice and such and it was easy to get a close look at him. The Switchman and I loved to watch the hawk and would always point him out to each other if we had the opportunity. We were enchanted at how the hawk just seemed to dismiss the lumbering engines despite their noise and heat. I have not seen the Switchman himself in some time now.

Work work (as opposed to home work) continues 6 days a week now, so progress on the house is on hold for a little while. My pantry cabinet is ready however and I must find a way to go pick it up. I may have to enlist Allen, as he is here in town during the business day. I am very excited to have that because the pantry can be completely finished shortly. Well, I'm off to sleep!


*Nelly Furtado

Tigerlily

Look at this!! I found this today growing just behind the house; you can see it from the kitchen windows. I have no idea what it is. I just said tigerlily because that is what it reminds me of, but I wonder if this is some wild, native species? I never planted anything in this area because I'm still doing dirtwork here. In fact, I could see the last cut I made with the Bobcat and I just missed this by about 18 inches. And, as far as I know, this area was never part of an old homestead.

It is so pretty and exotic looking. I'm sure somebody out there can give me an ID on it. I'm going to keep my eye out for any more of these plants. The stem is very distinct as the main part grows straight up from that circle of leaves near the bottom. That's kinda odd.
I have just been astounded at the variety of flowers that have popped up here since I have cleared some areas. I wonder how long they have laid dormant, just waiting for enough rays of sunlight to coax them forth. Just like most all things in our lives have their own time and circumstances before they are ready to come into being.


*Natalie Merchant

She Has No Time

Hey everybody! I have really been trying to get some time to post again but things just keep going on. Which is good but I do actually have some decent posts in mind I think. Not a lot has been going on at the house. It is so freaking hot here I have somewhat taken a break from outside work. Gonna see if it will cool down just a bit in a week or so before I get back up on that roof. I have been piddling around in the garden and a few things like that. Mostly I have just been working and we were told today that we will be on 6 days a week until the end of the job most likely. However, the end of the job is only in about 5 weeks so that's not really that long.

That's okay with me because we don't know what is going to happen after this job and I want to make all the money I can.
The man I went to dinner with this past weekend visited one afternoon this week and I have a dinner with some friends tonight, so it's almost like I have a social life! Well, the man is interested in installing solar power also and we have been experimenting with a panel and equipment, seeing what we can do with it. Been listening to a lot of Stevie Ray Vaughan lately. If you are not familiar, or even if you are, do yourself a favor and go to this link and have a listen. Just beautiful.

This is my view on part of my way home from work. I am scrapping for pics lately since I haven't been working on the house or anything. I thought the clouds were pretty cool. Okay! Got to go shower and scoot! Be back soon hopefully!

Sweetheart(s) Like You

I think it's kinda funny that I end up using a good many of Bob Dylan's song titles when I don't really care for his music. Maybe I like his music but just not his singing of it, if you want to call it singing. At any rate, he does have a few songs I can tolerate and most all of them have interesting commentary hidden beneath his caterwauling.
Thank you all for the kind comments from the last post. I tried to answer everybody's comments on that one. I forgot to mention that while I was sick and down with my back, my computer also crashed and so I was without Internet access until about Tuesday. That was just about as well as I couldn't really sit up at the computer for any time to speak of. It's just been a barrel of laughs lately around here.
I also meant to post again right after that last post but I've had company both evenings and just haven't had time. Now, before anybody gets all worked up, it wasn't anything like what that might sound like! Dammit. Fred had some relatives visiting from California and they wanted to come see the house after I got home from work on Friday. They were wonderful, friendly folks and I enjoyed visiting with them. Then, I had to work yesterday, which is crappy working on a Saturday for straight time, but I needed to make up for Monday anyway. I did actually go out to dinner and a movie with a real, live, human male last night though. So see, I do get out and have some semblance of a social life when a decent offer arises. I am not dead set on working my life away.
The photos are just a few things I saw of interest this morning while out on a short walkabout before the heat became too oppressive. I liked the shadows cast by the ferns on that piece of flagstone.

My dragonfly population is enjoying a resurgence lately. This is very good because for a while the deer fly were becoming a nuisance again but they have fallen back down due to the constant monitoring of the dragons. Wonderful creatures they are. The dragons that is. I love these green ones and their glass-like wings.

The cayenne peppers I showed ya'll a while back are starting to turn. The green one just fell off; I didn't pick it. These are some of the largest I think I've ever grown. And finally, a picture of my hand and it's not caked with mud or grease or some other grime! I can clean up!

While I was out hanging a load of fresh laundry out to dry, I noticed this tiny feather on the ground at my feet. I was kinda fascinated with it because it's blueness varied according to what angle you were viewing it from. It was perfect in it's simplicity. I always think of feathers as little gifts from the birds. A little token from the feathered spirits to us earth-bound creatures to remind us to keep trying and looking up. It takes the sum of the bird's feathers to make it able to fly; it can't do it with just 3 or 4. In the same way, it takes the sum of all our small accomplishments to eventually get us to our goals. All the things we want to do in life are just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again, to just keep striving. Luckily, just as the bird won't fall to earth if he loses a few feathers, a few failures on our part won't ruin us for life either. We might fly kinda wonky for a little while but things will straighten up. Funny thing, I have found several pristine feathers lying on the ground lately.

I also mentioned in a recent post that a friend had brought me some fine whiskey lately. It was actually two bottles; my fav #12 George Dickel and the Knob Creek. I also got a sample of the Marker's Mark '46', which is excellent. This is in addition to the excellent home brew that our crane operator likes to bring me. This bottle of cognac was given to me yesterday by the superintendent for the electricians. I've never tried the stuff so don't know much about this. I'm beginning to wonder though what kind of vibes I must be sending out to be receiving all this liquor as gifts. I swear, I don't go around talking about it and these men don't read my blog. While I do have an occasional shot of a good whiskey, my days of having to hold on to the floor are over. I only got that drunk once and that was enough. And I was married at the time so that kinda explains that.
Now, a fine liquor, if they know you drink, is an old, traditional gift in construction, at least among the older craftsmen. It's how they show their appreciation and admiration, so I guess it proves that I am truly accepted among the men. That or they're trying to get in my pants,... hell, I don't know. Ah well, either way I get some good gifts! heh!


*Bob Dylan

Here I Am

Hey Folks! I didn't mean to be gone so long. It's a long story but about the time I made that last post I came down with a very bad summer flu, I guess, and was really out of commission for a few days. Then, over the weekend while I was still very sick, my water system finally made it's last gasp and I was forced to drag myself out of bed to hand dig the well back out. Thankfully I had brought a gas powered water pump home from work, in anticipation of this happening, and was able to keep the water down low enough to work. Allen and I took turns descending into the well to shovel muck out. The water in that spring is so cold my feel actually went numb from the cold, but, on the bright side, I have plenty of water now. And if that wasn't enough, when I was carrying the pump down to the spring, I slipped and fell and me and the water pump went bouncing down the hill together. I didn't let go of it for some reason and also ended up cutting my knee open. That wasn't that bad, believe it or not, but between the fall and the digging I severely aggravated my old back injury also and had to spend most of Monday laid up on a heating pad. So, I've just been out of sorts and wore out lately. Plus, when it's just you and you're sick, things like the dishes and clothes don't get washed and I have spent a couple of days getting all of that back in line. But everything is okay now.
But ya'll know me; I ain't right. When things get discouraging sometimes I tend to wander off in the woods by myself for a few days to think about things. I was going really good and making some progress on the house and then it all just blows up. I haven't made any progress on anything the past couple of weeks but it will come around again.
I've been a little unsure what to write about anyway. Often times I feel like the 'Giant Rat' of the blogosphere fair. You know, just something silly and slightly amusing to pass the time. I have been trying to put together some ideas for some posts of more substance. Something that really explains what I am trying to accomplish here. Anyway, time for bed now and I've partaken of a bit of some fine whiskey a friend brought me, so my thought s are wandering everywhere right now. Just wanted to drop a line in case anybody was wondering where I dropped off to. I'll be back.

*Al Green

Free To Be Me

Sweet Darkness

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.
 
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
 
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
 
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
 
is too small for you.

~ David Whyte ~

A friend sent this to me today. It was kinda just what I needed to see. I liked it.

Subtle Lament

Thought I'd show a few pics of what going on around here with the garden and such, since I haven't made anymore progress on the siding. Hopefully that will change this weekend at least. However, I'se not feeling so good tonight so this is going to be a quick post. My heart has been showing it's 'O' today and that combined with welding in this heat has got me tore down a little.
My cayenne peppers are really kicking some pepper butt though! I only have two plants but they are both loaded. I like to dry these and use them throughout the year in cooking.

My two blueberry bushes are showing promise by already putting out new shoots of growth. You can see this by the much lighter colored tips.

This is a native plant I have shown on here before but I think it's really cool this time of year. I did not edit the colors in this photo now. It really is almost white on the upper tips and then gets darker as it goes down. It's almost like it's frosted. This is what we refer to as Mountain Mint. It can be use medicinally and has a wonderful aroma. It grows very prolifically here and so I let a few sprout up in my driveway flower bed. The deer won't touch it.

It gets it's whitest coloring right before it flowers in mid-summer. The flowers are tiny but very pretty and the bees seem to like it. The plant can get around 5 feet tall.

Now, here is some garlic I harvested recently. It is some heirloom type that was given to me and that's all I know. You see I got 4 nice, regular looking bulbs there but then there were scads of these humongous, single clove bulbs. Are those just immature bulbs? Should I have left them in the ground? I can just replant them in the fall, can't I?
Alright, I'm going to crash in my new bed, which is great by the way..


*Duke Ellington/ a beautiful song; one of my favorites.

High Hopes

This is what I spent so much money on this weekend! I know it's probably not anywhere near what you were imagining either, heh. You know, all these self-help gurus and such always say you have to imagine and prepare for the life you want; go on and proceed through life as if you already have what you want. So, this is a new queen-size, fancy-smancy Serta bed. Natural latex padding from real trees even. Big enough for me and a good size man. Kinda like the 'build the baseball park in the cornfield kinda thing'. You know, build it and they will....okay, there is no way I can complete that sentence without it sounding nasty. Anywhoo, you get the idea! Haha! It's a joke people!! Sorta.
Actually, my back has really been in a bad way lately and I was sorely overdue this bed. The back pain was actually waking me up before my alarm. That's not good. If my back is out of commission then I'm out all together so I just had to bite the bullet and get this while I am still working and can easily afford it. And do you know, that after spending all this money I didn't even get one of those cute little sheep with the number on it's side. I love those things!

I admit I did not hit one lick at putting the siding up this whole weekend. I did go buy what I believe will be enough for me to completely finish though. I worked my butt off in the garden and yard, cleaning up and mowing and weed-eating. Just generally taking care of lots of little maintenance issues. Maybe during the week I can muster the energy to do a little siding work.

*several people have done songs with this title.

Still Crazy After All These Years

Holyyy moleee, I spent some money today. Despite being female I just don't like spending large sums of money. Damn thing better do me some good. I'll show ya'll later.

Grendal insists on sitting in my lap now every time I get on the computer. That would be okay if I could teach her how to type, so that I could just sit here and dictate and she would do all the work. She doesn't seem too interested in that so far.

It's very boring on Saturday nights if you don't have anything to do. What are all of ya'll up to?? Anything exciting? I've thought about getting my nose pierced.


*Paul Simon

Lately

Oooh, lots of wonderful things have been going on around here lately. Well, maybe not all of them wonderful but at least productive. I believe I have recovered from the burn-out I suffered last year and have really been enthused about finished many things. I didn't get much garden planted this year but aren't these maters pretty! They are doing really well. I may even try canning some in the following weeks.

Is this not a thing of beauty? One thing though, that is kinda odd, is that this is supposed to be a Rutgers and the Beefsteak tomatoes, which are kinda supposed to look like this, are generally small and smooth. Oh well, they taste fantastic. Makes you want to go into a grocery store and just start slinging all those tomato-like things they sell against the walls and run around screaming "Anarchy!"
What? Ya'll don't have thoughts about doing stuff like that? I bet you do.

I also had a very nice man come out and grind three stumps for me. This was a big one very close to the house that I needed out of the way so I can start installing the flagstone patios and walks. Yay!!! But I'm not sure what to do with the 'leftovers' from these stumps. It is pretty evenly mixed dirt and wood fibers. I thought it might make good garden soil after the wood decomposes? Anybody ever used this stuff before? What did you do with it? I want to remove it, since it will partly decompose, and fill the hole with just dirt so it will compact good. Oh! I also had another nice man come out and give me an estimate on what he would charge to build my kitchen cabinets. I'm just going to have him build the pantry cabinet now, as that is what I can afford right now. It will be about 3 weeks before he is able to start though, so you'll have to wait some for pics.

I got quite a bit done on the clerestory siding over the holiday weekend but I ran out of material once more. I'm very excited; I think it's going to be great! I will be so glad to get off that roof! But at least my butt is getting a good workout going up and down that ladder so much.

I also started on mortaring and stacking this stone wall for my kitchen/ herb garden. I've still got to come up another 18 inches or so to be high enough though. Allen had a good idea to make it tiered. I think that will look good and then the front won't have to be so high.

Wow, that seems like a lot after writing all that down. Well, got to burn this energy off somehow and since I haven't met a nice guy lately and thereafter proceeded to get into his pants, I guess manual labor will have to do. LOL! Heck, if that's any indication on things, I may finish this house by the end of summer!
I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday; hope ya'll have a good day.

*Stevie Wonder

Different Drum

After reading some comments and such from "Story Of My Life", I was afraid that maybe I had come across as bitter or blaming towards my parents for my childhood and I just wanted to clarify that was not the case. Like I said, it was what it was. I didn't have the best childhood but I wasn't abused either; I always had enough to eat and clothes to wear and in a lot of ways my having to be so self-reliant has aided me greatly now. I just wish sometimes I had not felt so alone back then and I'm afraid now that that feeling of being on my own, forever, affects me subconsciously. I believe sometimes I inadvertently give people, especially guys, the idea that I want to be alone. That's not it at all, it's just all I know.
What I was trying to say, in addition to what I believe made me how I am now, is just that about everybody in this world is dealt at least one crappy card. It might be your health, your family, your position in life or whatever but you can't let that one, or even more, crappy cards dictate your life. With enough determination you can many times turn that crappy card into an advantage even. I had two friends growing up that were sisters. Now, they had a rough go of it. They had a horridly, abusive childhood. I saw it with my own eyes and even suffered through some of it with them, unknown to my own family. I recently found the two of them through the wonders of the Internet. The oldest one, that is my age, has done well for herself and has a good man and looks like, two sweet kids. The sister is a year younger than us and she is just the opposite. She has had her kids taken from her and is in and out of rehab all the time. Now, I am NOT putting her down. I still love my friends and feel so badly for her. If anybody has a reason to still struggle with things, it's these two. But at some point you have to just determine that you are not going to let those bad things rule you anymore. Yeah, shitty things happen to good people but you have to find a way to pick yourself up and say, well, I didn't deserve that, but I also don't deserve to suffer the rest of my life. Now, some of you may say, that's easy for you to say, you didn't have an abusive childhood and you would be right. But I have suffered through several staggering blows in my life at any rate. I paid and provided, albeit unknowingly, for my own brother's preferred method of offing himself. Have that happen and see how bad it screws with your brain. And I succumbed to it for several years. But then I said I have to go on. It was not my decision for these things to happen in my life but it is my decision in what I do now.
It may seem that I'm a little off topic but really it's still the same. When my own family said, "you should have just been born a boy" or "if you are going to be like this, you don't even need to get married" and on and on, it hurt me for a long time. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me and why they felt so determined to point it out. Just let me be me, I'm not a bad person because I can weld!! But I finally realized this was my life and they didn't have to be me, so it was up to me to make my life what I wanted. And they could stuff it if they didn't like it.

On another note, turns out I was even more correct about the 'faulty genetics' than I thought! After writing that post I just happen to stumble upon several articles about a genetic disorder that affects infant girls before they are born. Turns out, I am just one, big birth defect! I'll tell ya'll what I mean later but it does help explain 'me' quite a bit.


*Linda Ronstadt

Stars And Stripes Forever, Babeee!

Okay, I took a little liberty, ha!, no pun intended, with the title of that great work but it's one of my favorites! I hope all of my fellow Americans are enjoying and celebrating this wonderful holiday and remembering what it's all about. I have mostly worked on the house here by myself but did go have a nice lunch with Fred and Allen and another friend and then Allen and I rode around and visited a couple of other friends for a little while. So, I have taken a little time just to relax. I'm going to watch the Boston Pops special later; I always enjoy their performances.
I would recommend two other posts by fellow bloggers on this day. Jim over at Coffee With The Hermit has a good one and the annual 4th post that Ed at Riverbend Journal puts up is great. It brings me to tears every time I read it. And last but not least, Beatrice and Grenville at Frog and Penguin have loads of great pics of 4th festivities up their way. Check them out!

So, God Bless America, land that I love!!!
Oh, and you gotta check out Google's header for today; it's cool!

*John Philip Sousa

Story Of My Life

Well, first I've got to show ya'll what I accomplished today! See that? With those windows being trimmed out, all the exterior trim is done!!! Yay!! I'm so happy. I got that finished and then proceeded to get the siding started on the clerestory face. What a pain in the butt. I got into a wasp's nest (didn't get stung), I accidentally drilled a hole in my leg (don't ask; I'm not even sure how I did that) and I messed up 6 feet of siding before I got the first piece to fit BUT I did finally get the first run started and going. I cursed so fluidly and with such veracity as to make proud the heart of any construction worker, young or old. Ol' Dominecker would have saluted me.

Of course, as soon as I finish the clerestory I've got to top out this piece of a gable. It shouldn't be too bad though.

Now, back to our discussion. Thanks so much for your answers and they did shed some light for me. I think Deb, who is only a year older than me, had a good point about our generation. I think ours was the first generation that the principles of equality for women were actively applied to public schools. The 60's and 70's had fought for equal rights and pay etc. but it didn't really come into effect until about the 80's. I remember in junior high the boys and girls took turns with Home Ec. and Shop. Each gender got half a year of both. I don't remember my older sister getting to take Shop so I think this was a new policy. It pissed me because, although we could take shop and use tools, they still wouldn't let the girls weld. I have often wanted to go back and shove my welding certificate in their face. Pfffftt! Take that, you bastards! heehee, just kidding. Then in high school there wasn't much talk of getting married and kids. The girls were encouraged and given the same options as the guys. College or join the military. ROTC was popular and many of the girls joined. In fact, several of my friends joined the regular military after high school. I think there were so many options available to us girls that many of us did 'wander' a little and there is nothing wrong with that. I went on to college because it was expected in my family but proceeded to wander after that and I am glad I did really.
As I've said, I don't have a problem with being 'abnormal', if indeed I am, but the extent to which I have taken self-sufficiency does sometimes get in the way of things. A lot of it is the social conditioning of the South. Melody, you are right. To me, women here get a real mixed message. You are supposed to be feminine and love dresses and tea parties and then at the same time, if you can't put the fear of God into some man if he dares to treat you unkindly, well, they just aren't going to respect you. Kinda that 'tomboy hiding behind high heels kinda thing'. Chicory is very correct in that it will take a very secure man to stay around me. (and I can't wait to see your studio too!) In fact, I had one carpenter sit me down and explain to me that I was too self-reliant. I give the men no opportunity to "come to my rescue" and apparently many Southern men need this in order to feel manly. As one 'ex' told me, "there's nothing I can do for you (that I can't do myself) and nothing that I can say to you (that some other man hasn't already told me)." I can assure any man however, that I will gladly let him be Bug Squasher Supreme, build all stuff he wants and take care of my truck if that makes him happy. Even the glorious Switchman told me one time at the end of that job, "I thought it was really cool when I first saw that a woman was out here doing this kind of work but after I saw the kind of work you actually have to do, it makes me feel bad. I don't like to see you work like that". Well, honey, I would gladly give it up if a decent man were to come along and want me to hold a more 'genteel' job, as my heart doctor keeps lecturing me to do. Driving 100 stakes in packed gravel in 100 degree weather lost it's adventurous appeal long ago. I'll stay my ass in the kitchen and bake pies!

I think what it boils down to, is that I simply turned out to be the perfect, horrid combination of faulty genetics, an unbridled mind and a crappy attitude. You see, I was born with not only a heart defect, but a reproductive one as well. An imbalance of the estrogen and testosterone did not allow my organs to develop and keeps me from carrying a pregnancy. As best I can tell, this imbalance also provided a stronger upper body than most women, larger and stronger hands and an attitude closer to a man's when it comes to life. But yet, I like men. You know, I like men. Heehee.
FloridaCracker asked if I was encouraged to 'step outside the box' when I was growing up. Well, I wasn't actually encouraged to do much of anything but I wasn't discouraged either. My parents were told frequently that there was something wrong with me, that I was mentally handicapped but instead of trying to take extra time with me I think they just said, the hell with it and just kinda let me do my own thing. Maybe not the best way to go about it, but it worked. Because I was not guided a certain way I grew up with no preconceived notions of how things were 'supposed' to be for a girl. Now, socially this can be a problem but educationally this was great I guess. If I wanted to learn anything I just tried it. They could tell I was different and if it kept me quiet to give me a hammer to play with, then that was fine. My mom did buy me a little tool set when I was about 5 or 6 and any kind of crafty things to make stuff with. I do remember being tested often in elementary school. They would take me out of class and ask me crazy questions like, "what is the main ingredient in making glass?" I was six but I knew the answer. It's sand or silica. I used to read encyclopedias when I was little, that's all. I don't remember telling my parents about the tests. So, my mind was just free to wander and no one tried to guide me a certain way. Now, initially this might sound pretty good but at a very young age I also realized that I was basically on my own. I remember once when I was about 7 or 8, I woke up one night after a very bad storm when my sister came back in the room. A tornado had come very close to our house and my parents had gathered up all the others but me. I was left alone during the storm, and many other times also, and this kinda became the pattern for my life. I taught myself to tie my shoes, to swim and ride a bike. I taught myself to drive and got my license on my own. When a friend's mother took her to take the test, I just went along for the ride. Her Mom asked me if I wanted to take my test while we were there so I said 'why not' and passed. None of my family asked me about such things and I'm not saying this to sound pitiful; it's just the way it was. I did learn a bit in school besides the academic stuff. They taught me how to keep a check book and cooking and a few other things and if I ever had trouble in school I worked it out myself. I told my parents about some stuff but they didn't seem concerned, so I learned early that my life was basically up to me. I had the good fortune of having some very nice teachers and guidance counselors that helped me, so I learned who to ask for help. I became very proficient at watching other people to see how they did things. Now with the Internet, I can see how different my upbringing was when I read other's blogs about their life and see how they interact with their kids. I mean, I think it was about 2 weeks before my father realized I had moved off to college. I'm not kidding. Sometimes I look back now and think I did pretty darn good to get this far.
And yes, sometimes I have a crappy attitude. I get very impatient with men. Just let me do it my damn self. I know what I want, just get out of my way. I'm trying to work real hard on changing that. I realize most other women my age are married and simply don't have to do the things I do. And, as Beatrice suggested, maybe they underestimate their ability to do such or are discouraged by men. That's why they don't learn to weld or drive a trackhoe. Hell, I wouldn't do some of it myself if I had someone else willing to do it. I'd still want to weld though!
So, the combination of all these things is what made me. Good or bad. But, I figure if I've learned all this maybe I can learn that when a man tells me I look nice, to smile sweetly and simply say "thank you", rather than "what the f**k do you want?" Maybe?

To answer some of the other comments: Hayley, you CAN learn carpentry or anything else. Most all states, maybe even Alaska, have technical colleges where you can go to take courses in welding, carpentry or any of the trades. I realize where you are now may limit you to what schooling you can get however. When I was an apprentice, Bessemer Tech in Birmingham was where we went but the courses are open to anyone and you don't have to be actively employed in the trades at the same time. The YWCA in Birmingham also offers trade schooling for women only, at little or no cost, and most union halls offer schooling to anyone interested, so there are lots of ways for women to get training in any of the trades. If any of you women are truly interested in learning more, check out your local resources. Call some local construction companies and simply ask where their craftsmen get their training. You can usually audit courses from colleges also. You don't get hourly credits for the course, like if you were getting a degree, but you get to take the entire class for a greatly reduced price.
FloridaCracker, you can look here and here to see what circumstances directed me into the construction industry.

Keep Talkin'

Hey Everybody! thanks so much for all of your great, insightful comments and discussions. Keep them coming if you feel like it! Instead of answering them all in the comments section though, I want to answer and discuss in another post, which I will get to soon. However, the weather has turned so delightfully cool here that I'm outside as you read this, trying to get as much done on the house as I can. I am very close to finishing the siding and we actually got our 3-day weekend for the 4th! Yay! Anyway, I haven't left ya'll and after the sun goes down I'll try to get back to the blog. Unless some handsome man spirits me away on a romantic adventure. Ha! yeah, and I'm going to sprout wings and be able to fly up on the roof to work. I'll be back soon.

Oh, and Grenville, I did respond to your suggestions about the pantry shelves in the comments section of that post. Thanks!

*Pink Floyd

It Never Entered My Mind

So, I try to be pretty informative on this blog and do a good many 'how-to's' and such but now, I have a request of you all. I want to know something. I had a new reader ask a while back, "what made me the way I am?" Now, heh, that's a loaded question for sure but I have thought about this for some time and have formulated a theory for my current state of being, which I'll explain later. I realize truly that I am not like 98% of women. I know I'm very different. Hell, even among female construction workers I'm different. Thru the networking of Facebook, good or bad, I have 'met' quite a number of women carpenters, welders, pipefitters and so on. I have come to the conclusion that I am one of maybe three straight, female construction workers on the earth. Of course, I'm exaggerating (a little) but the vast majority are gay. I'm very straight. And I know there are tons of women that do physical things around their house; taking care of animals, gardening, even building a little shed or such. But how many you know that formed and poured the foundation for their house and welded the structure?
When I was interviewed for the newspaper article, the lady asked me what made me consider building my own house? Or something to that effect. I thought, well, why wouldn't I? It never occurred to me not to. Now, I've said many times I had lots of help, so it's not like I did it all by myself, but I have done it basically all, since blacking it in. So, my question is: why would a woman not consider doing some of the things I do? When I talk to many other women it's like it never occurs to them that they could, when it's just the opposite for me. Why is that? Women? Is it a question of physical strength? social conditioning? just not interested in such stuff? like to just see men work? lol!
Men? Do you prefer your wife not do such work?
Now, I don't really wish I were not like this but I feel many times it has made me into a bit of a social outcast and I'll explain more on this later. And everybody says, well, be proud you're different and all that, and I am, but that's easy for you to say, you know. I'm here alone for all my life and after so many years I begin to wonder, maybe I shouldn't have gone down certain paths. Maybe things would be different for me if I knew how to be more 'normal'. Now, whether that is something to be desired or not is open for debate, but I often wonder why I don't meet many other women on this path. I get a lot of women who say they wish they could do what I do, but hardly any that actually want to try. Anybody want to explain this to me?

Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf

Not my personal philosophy mind you, just the title to an actual song. So, these are the shelves after loading them up. I didn't think I really had enough stuff to fill all of them but lo and behold, there is even more stuff I didn't get on there. Of course, once the base cabinet is installed a few items will go in there and that will free up some shelf space.
And yes, on that middle shelf is some very excellent Knob Creek whiskey that someone recently gave me. It's not as good though if you don't have someone to share it with.

I started out by attaching these brackets to the walls at the appropriate heights. I made these out of the little bit of leftover cypress I had. It is a beautiful wood also. They are 1 1/4" thick and 1 1/2" top to bottom. I cut the length so that the long point is about 1/4" shorter than the width of the shelf. I also think the angle cut on front just looks nicer that a square cut and doesn't give you something to poke your hand on. Not that you would really but you never know. Now, Allen talked me into sheathing the interior of the pantry with plywood instead of sheetrock and I am somewhat glad I did this. This way you can run a screw into any part of the wall; you don't have to worry about hitting a stud in order to have the screw hold. It is very important to pre-drill the holes in any small piece of wood like this and I also countersunk the holes so that the bugle head screws would sink up flush the the surface of the wood. I used something like 2 1/2" coarse-thread screws to attach these brackets to the wall.

Once I got the brackets up I simply laid in the shelves, one at a time and working from the bottom up. Starting at the bottom lets you have plenty of space to work above and not be knocking your head on a shelf or whatever. I also put two dowels along the length of the shelves, into the studs, to help support the back length but my pics of that didn't come out worth a crap. I believe I am also going to add a center bracket to each shelf though, to support the front edge.

I used these 2" trim head screws to attach the shelves to the brackets, predrilling those holes too. The trim head allows the screw to sink beneath the surface of the wood but leaves a very small, inconspicuous hole that can easily be filled if you want. These will never be seen but they were the length I needed. I used three screws in the each, evenly paced of course. I mentioned that if you have a wide board that has some cupping in it you can draw that out by installing the board with the cupped middle facing up. It is easier to draw the middle down with screws than to try to draw and keep the edges down. Screw the back of the board down first and then the middle. It sometimes helps to clamp or wedge the hump out and then run the screw in securely. When you take the clamp or wedge off the board will remain flat.

So, I was happy to get this done. At least one thing that makes me feel good. Work is fairly sucky right now, as is my personal life. I know I have a crappy attitude but I could really use a nice thing to happen now. In the meantime I'm just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

* The Killers

Talkin' Smooth

I had to laugh today when I read Beau's account, over at Foxhaven Journal, of his construction of one, little chicken coop door that took him all day to do. I told him not to feel bad; it took me all weekend to install 3 measly shelves in my pantry! In my defence, these boards were a little rough when I got them. Apparently, they had been out in the warehouse of the lumber yard for some time and two of them had discolored somewhat. So, I spent all day Saturday sanding and filling and sanding and sanding some more before I got a consistent enough surface on all of them to finally apply the finish.
I got a pretty good deal on these though and they are basically clear (no knots), so I am very happy with them.

One reason I got a pretty good price is because they are actually stair treads and did not have to be milled specifically for me. These are five-quarter pine boards and you can see their original purpose by the bullnose on one side. I actually like square edges for shelves but was willing to live with this. It still looks nice. Now, when I say a five-quarter board, that means the finished dimension is a full one inch thick. All dimensional lumber refers to it's rough-sawn measurements, not the finished size, thus a five-quarter board does start out as 1 1/4" thick.
I could have gotten some 1x12's at Lowe's for a good price but I wanted something with more strength and heft. Besides, it just looks nicer.
Now, you can see in this pic, a slight bit of cupping in one of the board but some of that was cut out and the rest can usually be gotten out in the installation.

I ordered full 8' boards, knowing that my pantry is only 7'-6" wide, so that I could square up the ends and possibly cut off any rough end. Due to this, I was able to cut this knot out and get a perfectly clear board. You always want to check the ends for square before you cut. Don't ever assume the factory ends are going to be square. Sometimes I'll recut the ends just to get a nicer, smoother cut and then measure my length from that.

Since these boards are going to be in my pantry, loaded with food, I wanted to apply a very non-toxic sealer. Now, I realize that once a polyurethane is cured it is basically inert and probably not going to affect anything but I like the beeswax finish and I know it is pure and natural. Plus, it doesn't hurt that it makes the house smell like honey. Obviously, the far board on the right has not had the wax applied and you can see how much the finish darkens the wood. This is actually a 50/50 mixture of natural (no petroleum distillation) linseed oil and beeswax. It is almost solid in the can and you have to carefully heat it to apply. Once heated, it becomes very fluid and brushes on easily. I apply one thin coat and then let dry for 24 hours. Then it is buffed with a soft cloth and 000 steel wool. This has no stain on it at all; just the wax and I absolutely love how it brings out the beauty of the grain and does not obscure anything. I have a serious penchant for the looks of natural wood. Heh, that and men with neatly trimmed facial hair. Yum.
Ahem, okay...what were we talking about? So, anyway, tomorrow I'll show you the finished product. It is SO wonderful having usable, permanent pantry shelves! Now, I just need to see about having the base cabinet made and I'll be well on my way to finishing that room.

*Kate Voegele

Summertime

I did get quite a bit done on the pantry shelves today but I didn't finish the project so I want to get a little further along before I post about that. In the meantime, ya'll will have to endure tales of some of my other excursions. I took some time this morning to run down to the local farmer's market. I really want to grow most of my own foods at some point but until I finish the house and can devote a lot more time to gardening, I have to rely on outside sources. However, this does give me the opportunity to support our local farmers and economy. Something I feel is very important. In fact, I don't think most Alabamians realize just how blessed we are in the natural resources area. We can and do grow a wealth of wonderful produce here. I know this photo doesn't show much but there were loads of farmers here with a wide assortment of fruits and veggies. There is almost no reason to go to a regular grocery store for these items.

There is usually someone there selling homemade bread and homegrown flowers also. I know I don't have a tremendous number of Alabama readers (something that irritates me) but if you do live here, please get out and visit these markets. Especially if you live near me! The Blount county market is great. And they are open a couple of days during the week also. Our growing season is so long there is only a few months when these people are not selling and their produce is very fresh.
Edit: the Blount County market is located at the Agri-Business Center in downtown Oneonta.

I also like to get out and talk with some of the old farmer men. They are usually pretty funny. I don't mean silly, I mean they love to joke around and flirt with the women. They are just a hoot. I talked with a very nice Hispanic man from a nearby town who was selling a wonderful variety of veggies and fruit. I got the eggplant below from him. They are all very proud of the food they grow and love to tell you all about it. A lot of times you can even get recipes and all sorts of tips.
I also talked with another, very friendly farmer who told me that the organization that runs this market passed a ruling that all the produce must be grown in Blount county. I thought this was great.

This is my haul for today. A lot of people would say that it's too expensive to go and the grocery stores are cheaper, blah, blah, blah. I got that bowl of squash for $1. Can you get that at the grocery store? I don't think so. And they were probably picked this morning or yesterday evening instead of that old crap at the store that has been trucked halfway across the country. Now, I think normally that amount of squash would be $2 but I bought that from the friendly farmer and I think maybe he was just being nice. Allen always says I get stuff like that because I have boobs. I don't know about that; he was just being nice. The farmer I mean. At any rate, I enjoy going and meeting new people, it helps local people make a living and I get some wonderful fresh food. Now, you get out there and support your local farmers and help these markets grow!


*Janis Joplin

Voodoo Child

Pick up the pieces, make an island....might even raise a little sand

Cause I’m a voodoo chile....lord knows I’m a voodoo chile

Heh. Ohh, I think my recent illness and this insufferable heat has taxed my brain. That and I've been in a very Stevie Ray Vaughn mood lately. I feel a nagging restlessness stirring in me but for what I'm not sure. I need to express myself some way or another but the outlet for such seems just slightly beyond my grasp. Tattoos and piercings are just so overdone these days. I know what the guys would say. In fact, I've heard them mumbling something about taking up a collection...that's not fair though, I haven't cussed anyone lately or thrown anything at any of them. Granted, I've been a little weak to raise much hell, the days I did make it to work, but still, I have behaved.
I know one thing for sure, this week has really got me to considering again just how long I want to do this for a living. I know I've thought about this many times and it's not very often that a bad illness corresponds with a heat wave but dang! it's rough when it does. I went back to work Tuesday and that was probably a mistake as it's been in the high 90's all week. Probably should have taken another day. To sweat so hard that you actually breath it up your nose is an odd sensation. I made it through Wednesday but that day I had to work on a galvanized roof, right in the sun, all day and wearing a harness on top of all that. Thursday morning I just couldn't do it so I took that day off and I felt much better today. When people or friends come to the realization that we have to work in such conditions they always stare at me with open mouths. Their expressions hint at either utter amazement at our strength or horror at our stupidity. I often wonder myself, which it is. Of course, we are better acclimated to such conditions, having to do it every day, but it's still hard. I suspect that a warm, manly pair of hands and some lotion would do wonders for my back and spirits but I guess I'll have to settle for some Aleve and maybe a shot of whiskey, although not at the same time.

So, on a better note, I hope to actually accomplish something this weekend other than closely inspecting my toilet. I am going to finish (and hopefully), install the pantry shelves and maybe get the last of that exterior trim milled. I know ya'll are sick of my whiny posts and want to see something done on this house. Me too. If I can get an early enough start, maybe install some siding on the clerestory area also. We are supposed to have a cool spell of highs only around 90 F! Wow! I might have to put on a sweater.

In other news, I am awaiting the return of the foot pedal for my pottery wheel and then I hope to finish the orders some of you have placed. I apologize for the inexcusable delay but in my haste and impatience I destroyed the other foot pedal, trying a quick fix, and am having to have a new one built. A very expensive mistake on my part. I'll have to sell a lot of mugs to make up for this one.


*Stevie Ray Vaughn. also done by Jimi Hendricks

Mean Woman Blues

Well, I hate to foist more daylily photos on you but this weekend just didn't turn out like I had hoped. I wanted to be able to blog about putting up the last of the exterior trim and pantry shelves, since I just got the material in, but my body had other plans. It thought it would be a good idea to throw up for 10 hours straight. I got up early Saturday morning ready to start work and just didn't feel too good. I figured maybe I had gotten too hot at work the day before and was a little run down but soon realized it was something else.
Btw, this is one of the new additions to my daylily collection.

And this is one of the others. So, anyhoo, I puked my guts up all Saturday and just couldn't get it to stop even with taking some anti-nausea stuff so I finally broke down and had Allen take me to the ER. I felt stupid for going to the ER for something as insignificant as throwing up but I couldn't get it to stop. It's bad when you drink stuff just so you'll have something to throw back up. I know this is gross but bear with me. lol! The doc there said apparently something was going around as he had 3 other patients with the same thing at the same time as me. So, I didn't get anything done this weekend and I'm off work today. I feel somewhat better but we'll just see about tomorrow. In our line of work it's hard to jump right back to work after being really sick due to the heat.

This is one of the few purplish lilies I have ever found and it is a dwarf also. I like to layer shorter flowers in with the tall stuff so you have some rhythm of up and down.

I felt well enough to walk around outside a little yesterday and take these few pictures. This is a variety that I've had for a couple of years now. The blooms are very large on this one.

This is one of my favorite plants and apparently, a favorite of the bees also. It is a Vitex Agnus-Castus, the 'Texas Lilac' variety. It is very hardy and grows quickly. It doesn't seem to mind the heat or dry soil. They get up to 12 feet tall and are just covered in these blueish-purple spikes that all the bees go nuts for. Also, when the flowers fade, the seeds left behind can be harvested and use for medicinal purposes for women. It helps regulate your hormones. I have bought Vitex capsules at health food stores before and had great results. But of course, everyone should use caution and study any plant before using any of it.

Well, hopefully I will have something interesting to post about soon. I hope all the fathers out there had a great day yesterday. Oh! I almost forgot; some of you might be wondering about the title to this post. See, whenever I get this sick, Allen always tells me it's just the meanness in me trying to come out. lol! Maybe he's on to something.


*Elvis Presley

Hot In Herre

This week at work has been absolutely miserable as far as the heat goes. We've been able to work in the shade of the building but it's still hot inside. However, today I had to work out in the sun grading gravel for a slab pour, surrounded by concrete and it was near 100 F. I am not one who sweats a lot but even my pant legs were soaked by the end of the day. I'm getting too old for that kind of crap.
I'm going to try to get some work done around here in the morning and maybe take a break during the hottest part of the day.

Yesterday I was working inside the sanctuary part, sawing lumber for blocking and it was terribly hot. Now, we have several very large fans set up in the building and they help a lot but I wasn't feeling any breeze coming my way. After a brief investigation I noticed that the stupid duct men had 3 of the fans on the stage area all pointed at them! All three of them! I called bullshit and went up and turned one of the fans out toward the sanctuary to where several of us were working. Ahh, that felt much better! Well, after about 30 minutes I noticed it got very hot again. WTH? I turned around and couldn't believe it when I saw that one of the duct guys had turned that fan back towards them, so all 3 fans were back on just those 3 guys. The sorry sonova.... I didn't say a word. I didn't make any gestures or pick up anything. I simply put one hand on my hip and gave him 'the Eye'. Even at about 50 feet he could see that look. He looked sheepishly at me and then slowly eased over to the fan and turned it back towards me. Damn skippy, and you better not touch it again.

No wonder I can't attract a man. ;)