On the road to our place they are currently building several houses and have just finished several more. They throw these houses up in a matter of months. They can have one framed in a week. I'm on month 17 now I think. It's starting to get to me just a little. I know that these other houses are just your run-of-the-mill boxes; poorly designed, heat traps but it's sometimes easy to get discouraged. I am a little discouraged. I also know that we have not been able to work continually. I think this is the worst part of building your own place. Sometimes I have to wait on my paychecks to build up to purchase certain items. When we work overtime, I am way too tired to come home and pour more concrete or whatever. Sometimes I just go down to the house and sit and look at the house and I get even more overwhelmed because I end up thinking about all that I still have left to do. That's a bad attitude I know. I have had virtually everything handed to me so I don't want to appear ungrateful. I think staying at the house on the beach has made it worse for me. It's sooooo nice to have windows to look out of and a stove and a shower right in the next room! I also have not thrown any pottery in over a year. I miss that. I see artists friends of mine that are being in all kinds of shows and galleries ( I'm happy for them; they are good) and I think I'm really stupid for taking the time to do something like this. I should be working on my art; I'm not too bad at it. I might get somewhere with it. Yesterday, I had to type up a bio for a magazine that I have written an article for and the editor told me it could be up to 500 words and include my work, family etc. All I could come up with was about 100 words about work. I could not think of anything else to write about but WORK. I see all you other bloggers out there who have wonderful families and kids ( and I'm happy for you too) and I think everything I have done has been a mistake. Who puts so much effort into a damn house? OK. I will try to come back with a better attitude.
This photo shows some of the Sheetrock we have hung lately. Very tedious pieces to cut out but they were not near as bad as the clerestory ones. This is part of what is taking so long. Allen told me the other day that everything I want takes the longest, is the hardest to do and the most aggravating to work on. I guess so. Usually it's the most expensive too but I have gotten around that this time. As soon as I pick out what type of speakers I want installed and where they go in the living room wall, we can finish hanging the rock and get somebody up here to finish it. I hope. That's one thing I don't want to do myself. My fig trees and stuff were coming out nicely and I was hoping for a good surge of growth from them but then we had a cold snap a couple of weeks ago that just froze the crap out of everything. I don't think it killed things but they are just sitting there now; not a green leaf on them.
I really want to have running water by the end of May. That is my next goal.
5 comments:
we constantly feel overwhelmed with the stuff left to do. i feel your pain with the paycheck progress plan. one therapeutic thing that i like to do when i get completely overwhelmed is to look back through my blog. i really like to see the yard area and scrub field where our garden is now. that perspective of what things were like when we first moved here is a glorious thing. in the end it will all be worth it. you'll have a beautiful house. plus, if you had chosen the other path there would be moments of *i wish we were working on our dream home*. cheer up you are making the right choices and there will be plenty of time to catch up on your art. in my experience time spent away from the art rejuvenates my muse and adds new depth along with the new experiences.
It's funny from my perspective. I am utterly envious of what you've been able to accomplish. Working full time AND building a house in the woods. I haven't been able to figure out how to do that.
And as for the delight of kids, my grown child is now my biggest challenge (getting him graduated, getting him a job, getting his life started).
It's all about perspective. And think about next year at this time when you're watching spring arrive from the windows of your new house. I'm already looking forward to the pix.
Hey Pablo and Karl! thanks for your encouragement; I'm feeling better. You're right and it is a good idea to look back at old photos to see how it used to be. I know we have come a LONG way. No matter which way you go I guess everybody has moments of wondering what if they had gone the other way. But Pablo, I don't know if I'd be too envious of all the work. That is getting to me also. It's really hard. the more help you can get the better. I have just about done my lower back in and have torn a ligment in the bottom of my foot. they want me to take steriod shots to ease the pain in my foot but I'm afraid to. Most of the older guys that I work with have had them to keep going. I wonder sometimes if any sane person would try to do this and pay for it out of pocket! I know I'll make it though.
It's going to be so beautiful!
Thanks Jenn!! It's a LONG way to go yet!
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