Sunday, April 19, 2009

Hair Of The Dog

Meet Ernie. He's not my dog though. Ernie just showed up around here a few weeks ago and Allen took him in. He has always wanted a bloodhound and now he's got one. It seemed that someone had shut Ernie up and starved him. Whether that was entirely intentional, I'm not sure. He didn't have any sores or signs of abuse on him (other than being starved) so I wonder if his owner might have died suddenly and no one knew about Ernie or what. He is actually filled out some in this photo, due to intense feeding for about a week and a half and his claws have worn down to a normal length now since he gets out and runs around. He's very sweet but he is definitely a hound; always hungry.

So, sorry I haven't been posting much lately. I just have so much on my mind I don't know where to start sometimes. One good thing is that I think my work is actually going to hold out longer than previously thought. The Man From 12 Years continues to struggle at times with things. It's not just the issue of dealing with grief over his wife or even his brother also, as most people would think, usually after they tell him he just needs to "get over it" already. To say he has had a rough life, even from childhood, is like saying the Titanic was a big boat. His wife helped him overcome so much that to have her taken away has left him lost. Then , his brother was about the only one of his family that truly empathized with him and tried to help, and he dies 5 months later. The Man has basically starved himself for months and has now gotten physically worn down, making his recovering even harder due to the fact that his body and mind lack so many much needing nutrients to function correctly. One good thing is that he will do most anything I ask him, so I have him on a high protein drink with high potency vitamins and supplements to try to restore his functions. He will eat when he is with me but usually not much of anything if he is alone. He keeps trying though. He has an occasional bad spell where he gets really down for 2 or 3 days but I think that is normal at this point. I think if he could get his nutrition level built back up he could better deal with his grief. I have explained this to him and he seems to agree and tries hard to eat and take his supplements.
I guess most people would say that I should run screaming from such a situation but that I just can't see that. My sister says that anybody that comes to you and asks for help is just looking to use you. I don't think that is always true and he never approached me with that attitude anyway. If I turn away from him to save myself grief and he doesn't make it, then I have that to carry the rest of my life. If I try everything to help him and he still doesn't make it, I still have that hurt but know that, at least, I tried everything I could. I don't know. So many of the issues he has are so similar to things I have gone through in my own life that it really makes me wonder. I can completely empathize with him. Neither of us could ever be accused of being saints but we would both like to just have a simple life and love one another.
Sometimes it seems like I have always had to struggle so hard for anything I've ever gotten in life. College, work, this house and I wonder why, is it just my imagination? Lots of people say I'm a very strong person but it really doesn't seem so right now!
So, that's what is going on with me now. There is a lot more to it really but that is the main issue. I only hope and pray that things begin to really turn around for him soon. He has made progress in a lot of ways and tells me that I am a tremendous help to him but I wonder what else I can do. Collective good thoughts are appreciated; I think they make a difference. I'll try to post a little more. Maybe even something about the house.


Anonymous said...

I don't think helping others is a bad thing, as long as it's not at the expense of our own health or wellbeing, make sure you still look after you ER.

countrypeapie said...

Sending good thoughts to good people....

The Country Experience said...

I agree, don't forget to take care of yourself. Carrying others can be a heavy weight to carry so make sure to take some time for yourself.

I've been wondering how you were doing. Glad you still have work locally.

Poor Ernie. He looks like he has a lot of eating to do before he'll be full. I'm glad that Allen has taken him in.

Island Rider said...

Looks like Ernie and the man both have something in common. I can't help but think that they are starved for more than food, but a little loving and tender care. Sounds like you are doing everything needed. Take some time for yourself as well so you don't get worn down either. Glad to hear you still have work. Praying for you all.

The Scavenger said...

What a joy it must be to him to have such a dear friend that really does care about him. Your helping this guy out even without knowing what may come of it tells me a lot about the kind of person you are.........a good one.


Richard said...

God will only give you challenges in life that He knows you can handle.

Woody said...

My father in law has a date for Ernie..

If being a good friend were easy we would all have bushels of them.

edifice rex said...

Hey Molly! Oh, I'm making sure to take care of myself and watch out for me.

Hey Pea! Thanks!

Hey CE! Yeah, I'm taking care of myself and glad to still be working in town.
Ol' Ernie is coming along pretty good; he is always in high spirits.

Hey Rider! Yeah, they do. Thanks for your prayers.

Hey Chris! thanks a lot but I think I'm just doing what any decent person would do. I always thought a lot of him.

Hey Richard! You know, I was worrying about things today at work and that very thought just popped into my head suddenly. It made me feel better.

edifice rex said...

Hey Woody! Boy, you said that right. It's hard but worth it for him.
A date for Ernie, huh!? As long as she didn't get near his food bowl!

Floridacracker said...

You do like a challenge.
That's because you have a big heart Annie.

edifice rex said...

Hey FC! I just hope it's big enough.

Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

My Great Dane has that hound dog look. She had been starved by a previous owner who just didn't feed her enough. To pay $1,000 for a dog and not know what it needed to flourish just doesn't make sense. The breeder found out and bought her back. Then I got her. Friends for life, we are.

When it comes to grief telling someone to "just get over it" doesn't work. There is a condition called "acute grief in older men". They may never get over it. I had a client once who had this and years after his wife died he would bring out a photo of her and show it to you and say "This is all I have." and begin to cry. In fact, he had four grown children and grandchildren but for him his life was empty.

Certainly your friend, if he were in good nutritional health would do better. Good luck to him and the noble dog.

Jenn said...

So hard to eat while grieving/ depressed.

I admit that some of the things you say about his past make me, personally, cringe. But I do believe that two can make each other stronger.


Rita said...

Hesitating......but please don't use the tiller with your possible heart problem. Please....I know you are independent and I want you to stay that way. Someone will be willing to do it for you if you ask around. Hard to ask....I know. Believe me I've been there and have a heart thing myself.