Sunday, May 30, 2010

Hold What You've Got

Weeelllllll, all I can say about yesterday is, dang. I think I've just lost my desire to even try to describe such events anymore. I'll just say this: ladies, and guys too really, if you have found a good partner, one that reciprocates your love. One that shares your beliefs and doesn't ridicule or put down your achievements. One that asks you how your day was and actually listens and doesn't ask you 5 minutes later the same question because they were not even paying attention. Then go find that person NOW and tell them you love them. Heck, go find them now and show them how much they mean to you. And don't give me that crap about 'well, the neighbors might see or he's out in the barn shoveling poop...whine, whine.' Especially if he's out in the barn shoveling poop! Go get 'em! 'Cause I'll tell you what, you're damn lucky and if that person ups and leaves one day because you sat on your ass and ignored them, you're gonna be hurting.
Let me give you just a little insight into what's out there in the world although I'm sure you are smart enough to suspect such stuff.. And you know, I've thought many times maybe I'm just being too picky. I'm expecting too much out of someone. I've berated myself for years for not being good enough, smart enough, considerate enough and yah, yah, yah, yah. Hey, I know I'm not perfect and have always tried not to judge people by their profession, origin or past mistakes. I've made plenty and continue to. But I don't think this is asking too much. These are Annie's Rules For Dating: and again, these are for dating, not necessarily if you've been with each other for a long time.

1. Don't show up at my house drunk. I think that's all I need to say about that.
2. Don't come to my house and proceed to get drunk unless that was our express plan. Although I must say, that really isn't going to be a likely possibility.
3. If we are going out, don't show up at my house in dirty clothes. Take a freakin' bath and put on clean clothes. Some damn deodorant would be nice too.
4. Do not talk ugly about your mother. aahah! I don't give a shit; don't do it.
5. Do not, as a way of asking me out for the first time, invite yourself over to eat a dinner that I have bought and cooked and then to have sex with me. I know that this is a shock but my joy in life is not to serve you.
6. If you are over the age of 18, ok, I'm gonna be nice about this one, 21; don't defer all issues of your life to what your mother wants, down to whether you should wear a long or short sleeve shirt out because you're not sure about the weather.
7. Do not tell me that if you take me out on one date that I 'owe' you sex and then, when I tell you to go scratch, try to be nice to me for the next couple of weeks in hopes I'll change my mind. Because, you see, I can still remember what you said 2 weeks ago, dumbass.
8. Don't try to piss down my back and tell me it's raining. i.e. "oh, I'm listed on this site as a Morman, lawyer, alien, whatever but I'm not really. It's just to meet people." WTF? Or, "oh, I own, free and clear, a bunch of beautiful land in a stunning environment but I'm thinking of selling it and moving to some remote location." Ya, and I'm Queen Elizabeth.
9. Don't call me up an hour before you want to go out. I will be busy. I have to give my cat a bath or something.
10. Don't call me up and say you wished we could go out but you can't afford it, you're way behind etc etc. and then in the next sentence, tell me all about how you just got back from Bike Week in Panama City.
11. Do not contact me unless you are completely, totally divorced. I don't care if you have signed the papers or what. I want to see that last signature from the judge.
12. If we go out, do not talk on your cell phone for half of the date.
13. In the same line of thought, don't ask me a question only to start talking about your opinion of it because you really only want to hear yourself talk anyway.
14. If you do not call me for weeks at a time, I will get the impression that you are not interested, so don't be surprised when I say, 'who is this?'
15. Do not tell me if I had my nose fixed I could be really pretty. If you catch me in the wrong mood, your nose is gonna need fixing.

And I could go on but this is becoming depressing. Also, don't give me any lip about well, it's those hooligans you work with (blue-collar) guys and all that. Naw, uh-uh, many of these words and worse proceeded from the lips of white-collar fellows. Now, excuse me while I go fix myself something to eat...and give Grendal a bath.


Floridacracker said...

Those seem pretty reasonable to me. It was a hell of a week wasn't it?

Sissy said...

Surely that date you just had wasn't endowed with all 15 of these flaws/endowments! Was he/it?
Life sometimes is a mess but hang on; your Prince will come, when you least expect - it's having to wade through all the muck to reach the clover that's frustrating.

Rita said...

Is it possible that your date didn't go so well? :( I'm sorry. Geesh! Tell us more.... I finally quit going out but I have 2 children and was divorced 20 years ago. Only went out a few times and decided it wasn't worth it. You are younger and so need a good relationship to complete the wonderful life you have now. My daughter is the same. I pray for you both every day. My heart hurts for the young women that cannot find a guy that is simply, a kind, honest, regular kind of guy. I won't forget and you'll be in my prayers with my daughter.

Bullseye said...

Now that is some really good advice. I hope that one day you can find someone that will value you as much as your readers do. I'm in a relationship that is up and down all the time, down most of the time. I hear you loud and clear about having someone to love you back. A oneside relationship sucks for both parties. There are good guys out there but not many seem to have crossed your path. Once they do they will see the same value in you as a person that I have come to know through your blog.

Wishing all the luck in the world.

Frugal Canadian Hermit said...

I'm going to assume that it did'nt go very well for ya the other night. lol. Sorry to hear that. Ya know, as a man, I can use some of those same rules that you have set for yourself. I hav'nt dated in, oh I don't know, 7-10 years. I realize that I am positively not perfect, but after the last two relationships with the ladies, I have simply lost my desire to even try anymore. Some day the "right one" may come along, but then I do live in a little tiny shack off the grid also, so good luck to me. All I'm saying, I guess, is that I kinda know where you're coming from. Good luck for the next time
Annie. Your rules sound pretty common sense to me, but I guess there has been a time when I might have been guilty of rule number one myself, but not for a long, long time now.

karl said...

by the grace of god i have found a wonderful woman. the torrid parade of relationships that lead to my current wife was like running through a huge mine field. one awful explosion after another in my wake.

i have come to the conclusion that finding the right one is mostly luck. now keeping them, that is another story.

so, good luck

edifice rex said...

Hey FC! well, I didn't think they were out of the question. ;)
It's been a helluva month!

Hey Sissy! no, he only broke about 3 or 4! ha!
yes, it is frustrating sometimes.

Hey Reet! lol! yeah, it didn't go so well! I really do appreciate that you would do that and it truly gives me hope. thank you.
Good to hear from you again too.

Hey Bullseye! good to hear from you and thank you very much for such sweet words. I really appreciate that and your words alone really has made me feel better.
I hate to hear of your situation and wish you the best also. Maybe things will turn around.

Hey Mark! lol! yeah, it's safe to assume that! Oh, hey, I know these rules could definitely apply to women and even some more! I'm sorry to hear that you've kinda given up on us women, you seem like a good guy to me, but I understand in a lot of ways and wish you the best. Because of our lifestyles it is very hard to meet someone anywhere near compatible.

Hey karl! I had to laugh at your description! but i understand what you're saying. You seem to have really lucked up and i'm very happy for you and Tabitha. It is luck in a lot of ways, a lot of good timing..

HermitJim said...

Those rules make perfect sense to me! I like the fact that you have boundries...and I think it's a shame that they even have to be set , but in today's world things just aren't like they used to be!

Being mostly a Hermit-type...I don't have to deal with the ladies much, but I can certainly feel your frustration!

I'd say "their loss, your gain!" I'm hoping that soon you find a guy that is all about common sense and old-fashioned manners! You deserve it, I think!

Rurality said...

Oh dear. The cell phone thing, really? And the nose thing? Jeez. I guess I'm not surprised about the rest of them, though. That just seems typical for large portions of the population unfortunately.

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO! You GO girl!!
Find out early what they're made of and shed 'em quick if they ain't right. Too many fish in the sea to waste time. Just keep throwing the bait into the water and do the same with the "non-keepers".
w/v = rative (on a scale of 1 to 10?)

Beau said...

Goodness, it's too bad they even have to be rules. One would think... well, maybe not. But you're really not asking much of anyone either!

ErinFromIowa said...

Good grief! Are those clowns still out there? I thought they would have issued a recall by now!?
All kidding aside, I hear ya Annie. You are preaching to the choir. I myself have stopped looking. I figure if there is someone out there for me he will show up if and when the time is right.

ErinFromIowa said...

Or maybe I will do the showing up.
Equal opportunity and all. Hee.

Eutychus2 said...

Wow! I was really excited to hear from you the other day on my blogsite, didn't know you knew it was there. I really like the fact your boundaries are solid; there isn't a man in the world worth breaking those. I also realized as I was reading those, that in a couple of those I need to brush up on so my wife better knows how much I appreciate/love her! Thanks for the reminder, and by the way, a right man coming along is not luck, its because you've been wise enough to be selective!

Ed said...

Is it the water down there? I thought everything in that list was common sense.

Ditto what Karl said. I lucked out finding someone but put lots of time and energy into retaining her. It has been well worth the six plus years we've been married.

edifice rex said...

Hey Jim! thanks man! Yes, I do have boundaries even tho some would find that hard to believe. lol!
I can't believe that these wouldn't be just common sense to everyone but you're right, things are not the way they used to be.

Hey Karen! hey, the cell phone thing is common and Allen made the nose comment!

Hey Furt! that's right!!!

Hey Beau! yeah, one WOULD think! but apparently a lot don't.

Hey Erin! yeah, I think I'm with you. I'm about to just say the hell with it.

Hey Euty! yeah, man, I read your blog!
That's right, you show your wife how much you love her!

Hey Ed! It must be, or in the beer or something!

amy said...

I don't know if you even remember me, I have only commented a couple of times and I think I gave you my blog address once. However this post, and the date on it hit me particularly hard. On the 30th of May, Josh, who was the best man I have ever met, passed away one week shy of his 35th bithday down at our property. He had a seizure which the paramedics told me led to cardiac arrest. While I am still very far from okay, the only thing that helps a little is that I know he knew how much I loved him and how important he was to me. Josh and I met a bit later in life and only had a little over 2 years together, but they were the best years of my life so far, so when you tell those women and men who have great spouses or significant others to let them know it, I want to reiterate that about a thousand times. It is really tough for me now, but I cannot imagine how much tougher it would be if I had gone to bed that night in the middle of an argument or not having told him I loved him. As for your rules, they seem pretty normal to me-I met Josh in a total accident, I hope your meeting of Mr. Right will be just as easy.

edifice rex said...

Hello Amy! and yes, i do remember you and your blog. I am incredibly sorry and saddened to hear of Josh's death. My heart goes out to you so much. You have been on my mind all day at work but I did not have time this morning to write a reply. I will be sending up prayers and good thoughts for you.
Maybe one of the reasons I've been single so long is to help a few people understand and appreciate what they have, while they have it. I am happy for you that you and Josh had what you did and that you showed him your love. I'm sure he knew it and ya'll's joy in each other showed on your blog.
I wish you peace and strength.