Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Whatcha' Say?

Well. I am discouraged somewhat. Yes, I know it's hard to believe, that my bright and sunny disposition could have dimmed somewhat but I have begun to fear that my social graces are fading faster than Joan Rivers latest face lift. I am apparently becoming an inexorable bitch and I really don't mean to. A few weeks ago (before I posted about the house) the BFA emailed with the usual chitchat and then asked me what I had spent on the house to date. I thought it was an odd question but I replied that I really hadn't figured it up at the time. If he would give me a little while I could tell him but in the meantime, could I ask why he wanted to know? I mean, it's my house, I didn't think that was a bad thing to ask. So, he never replied and now won't speak to me.
Then last week Cat Daddy called me and said some very ugly and inappropriate things to me. He has been laid off for a couple of months and isn't taking it well to say the least. I told him to go get fucked, and not in the good way. So, he's not speaking to me but that was my intention.
Then last week also, the assendofasuperintendent, excuse me, the assistant superintendent on the job started screaming and cursing at me because I was being cautious about rigging some 20 foot steel columns we were taking down. I have a slight aversion to getting myself killed, silly me! This ass chewing did not strike me well, so I proceeded to cuss him until a fly wouldn't light on him. I really don't like to get that upset and it's generally not a good policy to curse at your boss, however, he has been really nice to me ever since.
So, I feel like a pariah. I hate to sound like I'm trying to be pathetic but I don't really have another ear to chew on. What do ya'll do when you get down? Does your spouse help cheer you up? Am I being unreasonable?
Maybe I'm losing it. Hell, maybe I never had it! But I see no point in taking shit off people. I think I have had to work so hard, for so long, so aggressively to prove myself that I have become like a little wolverine that runs around bristling and snapping at the least provocation. And not that I wasn't somewhat provoked, but still. I think one of the reasons I would like to have a man around is just so I could practice being lady like. That sounds stupid doesn't it? Now, I'm afraid I would just end up biting him. And not in a good way.


Anonymous said...

A) DON'T take any crap off anybody. No one has earned the right to give anyone else any S**T!
B) We both know what you need, so just do it. Stress relief. All work and no play makes Jane a dull cranky girl.
C) When you're right, you're right and don't let anyone tell you different. You ain't out here to raise anyone else.
Chin up, shoulders back and FORWARD!!!

Chieftain of Seir said...

Well, if you weren't a little bit like that you would never make it in in the trades.

I knew one fellow who was an excellent tradesman and a good fellow (as far as I knew him). But his down side was that he was little "blunt."

For awhile he had the misfortune to be working with females who were not use to a construction environment. After he had made one of them cry for the umpteenth time, he told me "I hate dealing with woman. You tell a man that he screwed up (only his language was a lot more colorful than that) or have an argument with him and that is that. Tell a girl the same thing and they start crying."

The sad fact is that a lot of guys are in the trades because they don't have the social skills to do anything else (and some of them are proud of this). Add in the fact that construction work can be a lot more stressful than other types of work (lives are on the line if you go too fast, but if you go too slow, the company is not going to make any money and that is bad for everyone.) and you have recipe for a lot really "frank" encounters. If you can't hold you own, you are not going to make it.

In one sense you have it easy. Or at least I hope you have it easy.

A lot of construction supers (all of them that I have known) have had to deal with physical assaults of one sort or another. I hope nobody has ever been scummy enough to go that far with you.

Supposedly, I have almost been the victim of this type of assault myself. I have a friend who swears that he put a stop to a plan to try to take me out by a guy who did not like how I was pushing the crew. But I have a hard time believing this.

I know the slimy coward who supposedly was hatching this plot and I can't believe he thought there was any universe in which he could be successful. I think he just did not realize that my friend was my friend and I think he thought he could convince my friend to do the dirty for him. I just can't conceive of him having the guts to try it himself.

But last I knew the guy who was planing to "take me out" was in jail so I don't have to deal with him anymore.

I don't know that it is any comfort that you have to be harsh to make it in your trade, but that is the way it is.

Sorry for the ramble. I go on and on when it has been a late night.

page said...

maybe a different project altogether would help relieve the stress---my therapy of late is building Adirondack type chairs, no real pattern, barely a carpenter, easy wood...just going with the flow---very absorbing and you can sit and enjoy and evening drink when the day is done---now to sand and stain---have made three so far, my daughter is getting married and mum is ancient, very ancient---we may have a fleet of chairs before I'm on an even keel---nothing wrong with biting a little---love that you stand up for yourself---stay strong

Richard said...

I hate to agree with you on losing or lack of social skills but that comes from the occupation you are in. I'm sure you can dig down deep for some if the occasion arises.

Never take short cuts when it comes to safety. Any super who thinks you should needs to have his ass chewed in front of everyone so the crew knows where you stand. Keep it up girl.

HermitJim said...

I've found that sometimes folks get mad because they know that they are in the wrong! That's probably what happened in this case!

We all are believing you are loaded with social graces when the need arises...so I wouldn't worry bout it!

Besides, you always have us to watch your back, ya know?

Ed said...

Warn me before I ever get on your bad side.

Anonymous said...

Maybe there's something in the air...I've lost it 3 times already this week and it's only wednesday. :)
Sometimes you gotta kick a little ass (figuratively) to get your point across.

Beau said...

Good for you in keeping yourself safe. Hey, at least you're genuine and that's more than a lot of folks can be.

On the practicing thing, I think it really depends on a) two mature, genuine, trusting, loving folks b) meeting each other half way most of the time.

Some folks save their "practising" for the disguise they wear in public, and take it off when they get home. Without at least a) and b), home ends up being the last place anybody practices anything! :o

edifice rex said...

Hey Furt! Yes, SIR!!
as far as (b) tho, I can't find anybody! that's the problem!

Hey Cheiftain! boy, you are exactly right! I do have it easy in a way. most of the men are nicer to me, and no, i've never had any become physical with me, but i've still had my share of experiences. But i have NEVER cried. lol!

Hey Page! oh, i love Adirondack style chairs and would like to make some too. i'm sure yours look great! i do need another project but of the completely non-construction type.

Hey Richard! no, I always try to keep myself and my guys safe, no matter what anybody says. all our supers are strict on safety but this one is just an idiot sometimes. and yeah, i can dig deep and find a few graces! lol!

Hey Jim! thanks! yeah, i think you are probably right about that. he doesn't know what he is doing so he jumps on everybody to compensate.

Hey Ed! lol! I promise that I am not easily provoked to most people.

Hey V.! I don't know, maybe! lol!

Hey Beau! yeah, as the guys would say, genuinely mean as hell! lol!
you're right about the other; too many people pretend and are totally different at home.

Wendy said...

I don't think having a man around makes one a lady, and frankly, I'm not sure why any independent-thinking woman would want to be a lady, if it means we have to take shit from men (or even other women).

If they deserved an ass-chewing, they deserved it, and if they think that you should sit quietly and knit because you have mammary glands, then ... well, they're idiots and deserve and ass-chewing.