Thursday, October 02, 2014
Easy For You To Say
This post is a milestone of sorts, well, maybe that's not the right word, haha!. The completion of a goal maybe. This post contains the last word in the "word" post series and I saved the hardest for last! Leave it to Woody to give me such a difficult word but I think he was trying to make a not-so-subtle point with the word, floccinaucinihilipilification: the act or habit of estimating something as worthless. Yes, I had to look it up.
At the time I asked for the word contributions I had been kinda down on my blog, or my writing, for some time. Making excuses and just generally whining about how the blog wasn't any good anymore. Not that it was ever great but you know...When I got sick last year (or whatever it was that happened), I'll admit that I fell into quite a funk. As if ya'll couldn't tell. I wallowed in the uncertainty of what was happening to me and, at times, I just flat out hurt so bad I couldn't think straight, much less write something decent. I let it get to me.
My whole purpose with this blog had been to try to encourage a few people to try a few things that maybe they thought they couldn't do or were not sure about. A few DIY projects, a garden, or heck, maybe even a house and have some fun in the process. To share a bit of my crazy life so that other people might feel they were not such an oddball after all for not wanting the 'normal', 2-car garage life. Oh, I've never been under the delusion that it was ever any more than a little meeting place for a few folks that sometimes feel like square pegs in a round hole or others that just like chickens and gardening. There are no publishers beating a path to my door. But we had some fun and laughs and maybe we learned some new things along the way or shared some inspiration. It didn't help that my downtime just happened to correspond with what seemed to be a widespread loss of interest in blogs in the realm of social media. I watched a lot of my long time readers fade away. But of all the years my blog has been up and running I have felt like some people really got something out of it. Sometimes it was technical information, sometimes just a friendship. But it was all good.
And then I lost it. Or felt like I did. See, I've never really gone the traditional route in life. Got an art degree instead of something "useful". Worked in construction for 20 years in a time where only 2% of tradespeople are female. Never had kids, or wanted to. I've basically been a free spirit my whole life and only recently settled down to some extent. That kind of life leads to a lot of scrutinizing by outsiders. Lot of them waiting for you to mess up so they can say 'I told you so'. If you are the only woman on a job of 100 men you better as hell know how to work and make a showing, as they say and this blog was no different to me. I needed to produce a good product. I needed to offer my readers some meat, a full meal, and last year and even some of this year I felt like I was just throwing some lukewarm leftovers your way and I felt bad about it. I know a lot of people really enjoyed the building posts and such, and considering how many horribly misleading construction blogs that are out there, I enjoyed doing those posts too. Not that I consider myself any great expert!! But I do know building codes at least and have many years of actual commercial experience. I mean, my whole blog was built around the premise of me building a house and then wham! I'm not building it anymore. That sucks!
Some of you may have noticed that I have been writing just a tad more lately. It's not that I'm feeling particularly better...its more that maybe things have just rotated. Not as much brain fog as before but a whole lot more physical pain. I have however, found that you either adjust to such things that life throws at you or you just give up. I don't like to give up. I am a stubborn ass if nothing else. So, I am trying to adjust the blog and my attitude. And really, no one ever knows what is going to happen when they start some project like a house or homestead or even a new job. There is never any guarantee on anything so I think my blog is still true to it's original intent. I'm still a life in progress. I will finish my house despite what some folks like to tell me. I have always found a way. I will find out what is causing me so much physical misery and I will get over it. Or I will adapt to that too. I hope that you will continue on the journey with me.