Well, I certainly did not intend for any of the last few posts to be depressing or embarrassing but it seems that maybe they have been. So in order to make amends, I give you this slightly funny story. It pretty much sums me up in a lot of ways.
While I was working over at Red Diamond this last time, there were several painters there also, running their punch list. Most of them I have known for years but there was one that I had not met before. Funny thing about construction workers is that we often will work for months on a job together and never introduce ourselves. So, this new painter wanted to borrow one of my small artist's brushes to do some touch up and I gladly let him borrow it. I saw him later that day and asked if he was done with it, as I needed it. Oh yes, he was done and had asked his foreman where I was in order to return it. "I got in a lot of trouble because of the way I referred to you though", he confessed. I didn't quite know how to take that comment but he seemed to want to tell me the rest of the story, so I took the bait. He continues, "Well, I asked Forrest (the foreman) where that lady was working so I could return the brush and he got all over me!" "That's no lady, man! that's Annie!" was the foreman's indignant reply. We all got a big laugh out of it. I knew what the foreman meant but he ran up to explain anyway. He meant, that's not just any lady, that's Annie. I've often had some of the very young guys, from several different companies, come up to me and say, "Oh!, so you're Annie!" I don't know if that's good or bad but they always call me Ma'am after that.
So, back to what I first mentioned. The BFA (big, fancy architect for new readers) and Allen both got on to me for writing about the recent personal stuff. Said it was awful and embarrassing. Never do that again etc. Just keep it about the house and so on. Well, you know, I've talked about this before and I really don't usually let other people determine what I want to do. I am my own person and know what I believe. You can tell by what I do for a living that I go my own way but I don't want to write stuff that gonna make people cringe or whatever. I just figured I was writing about life and sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not. I said, well, it's not like I wrote about how that I wanted to throw this man down in the cab of that train and make passionate love to him for several hours. Because I know I'm the only person who would EVER have thoughts like that. Or how that when we were all sitting around at lunch one day and the train pulled up in front of us, I kinda got lost in thought as I watched him unhooking the trains and bending over repeatedly in front of me. And how 20 years of climbing those steep steps had done absolute wonders for that man's ass. Then, when I noticed it had gotten really quiet and turned around, all the guys were staring at him too, until one of them broke the silence and remarked gruffly, "well, I don't see what's so hot about him!"
You know, it's not like I wrote about any of that stuff. I've been told often that I am a rather open and forthright person. But I don't see anything wrong with that. Life happens to everyone, doesn't it? Seriously, I don't want to make readers uncomfortable but sometimes it might help some people to see that they are not the only one having a hard time. I know a lot of times when you are down it feels like you're the only person in the world that things are not going right for. But I say that's not true. Everyone has problems; no one is alone and in this amazing world of cyberspace we can encourage each other from across the globe!. But for all my physical talents I guess I do not have the talent to express my thoughts correctly. It just ends up sounding like I'm whining. So, unless I can improve my writing skills to better express these things I will probably just keep the subjects limited to the house or work.