How Long Has This Been Going On?

I just happen to be going through some of my archives the other night and realized that, come February, I'll have been blogging for 4 years. Four years... that's kinda hard for me to believe but I'm not sure why. And what is even more astounding to me, is that you people are still reading and I keep getting more regulars! I'm not sure if it's that I'm interesting or you crazy folks just like watching a train wreck.
Anyway, I've thought a lot about the whole blogging thing and how it has morphed so from what I started. Well, I really didn't know what I was doing when I started; I just thought it would be something fun to do and something that a friend (Rurality) encouraged me to start. Damn you Rurality! you've destroyed my mind! lol! Just kidding, but she probably had no idea what a monster she was creating. I have always liked the idea of keeping a journal but for some reason, was never able to keep it up for very long. Maybe there is just enough of an exhibitionist in me to enjoy the publicity of blogging more than a private diary but one of the main reasons I like blogging is because it does serve as a journal. That and I can actually have some contact with other folks, which is great considering that the way and area I live in can be somewhat isolating at times. And folks from all over the world!! how cool is that?! But I tell ya, nothing makes me feel better than to receive an email or comment from someone who says they were down and discouraged, but after reading my blog some, saw that they could do more things than maybe they had previously believed and DID! There have been many a day I've thought to myself that it is stupid for me to be writing this blog and going to all this trouble but if I can encourage even one person to try a new skill or help themselves out of a bad situation then I am happy to have gone to the 'trouble'. Even if you just feel better knowing that you're not as nutty or as big a ding dong as I am about life, it still makes me happy.
I was recently reading another blog where many of the commenting bloggers were saying that they would be mortified to know that people they worked with or other casual acquaintances had read their blog. I found that interesting. Maybe I'm too stupid to be self-conscious but it doesn't bother me to know that there are definitely people I work with that read here. Maybe I'm just an open person, I don't know. Now, of course, there is plenty I don't write about on here and never will but I don't think feelings are anything to be ashamed of (and I think some people do); it's certain actions that might be cause for shame but I'm here to say that we are all human and sometimes we all feel things we maybe shouldn't, even though many people won't even admit that. I mean, who's the stronger person? one that is tempted and provoked and still resists or one that always does right but was never really in danger because they just don't have the feelings? I think I'd rather be accused to having too much feeling than none at all and I'll never be ashamed of caring for another person. The thing is, everybody has their own unique trials and don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise. I once worked for a man that most people would envy in that he had more money than he probably even knew. There was very little in this world that he literally, could not buy. But he slept with a loaded gun in the bed with him. Nobody has it all. Nobody is immune to insecurity or fear.
Well, I'm not smart enough to be philosophizing to ya'll people but just keep this in mind: even the lowest construction worker learns, in his first days on the job, that you can do just about anything if you put your mind to it. You might be a little slower than some until you get the hang of it, but you can learn just like they did. It's just one step at a time, so don't ever give up.

*Ella Fitzgerald