Speaking Confidentially

I've been told a number of times, and even accused a couple, of my house only being built for one. I never thought that was a conscious action but over the past couple of years I have begun to wonder if perhaps it was subconscious. The house is small by most people's standards although I don' think it's unbearably small. However, I must admit, it does not contain, as one fellow put it, 'much room for a man to put his belongings.' Not much storage for a man's clothes or his personal items for the bath. Just as I always envisioned that I would one day find a permanent partner, my better half so to speak, I also imagined that there would be another half to this house. One that contains all the niceties for a couple to live together in comfort. A walk-in closet, his and her vanities and so on. But, you know that old saying, "man plans and God laughs".
And I am beginning to see more and more of myself in this one half of a house. It functions perfectly well on it's on. It's comfortable with it's one-halfness. It doesn't 'need' the other half. Granted, it would function more to the original thought if both halves were here. It would be nice to have the whole function and design of both halves. It wouldn't look so odd to most people. Both halves together wouldn't provoke uncomfortable questions from friends and strangers. Most of all, it would then be very comfortable for two people to coexist here.

It just gets so much more complicated as you get older. When you're young and you pair up, most people don't have much anyway, so there is no stepping on each other's toes over property and such. You're not so old and set in your ways. It doesn't matter as much if your sweetie wants to iron the clothes before they are put away. Sure!! go ahead! Now, after you are older, it's more like, just hang the damn things up and get them out of my way.! Iron them later! I'm not used to having 'stuff' over there! I want my 'stuff' here. My 'stuff' has always been here. Find another place for your 'stuff'. This is especially bad if you are older and have mostly been alone all your life.
I like my aloneness sometimes. But I like to have a partner to go places with. To snuggle up to at the end of the day...and so on, if you know what I mean! I like knowing I'm not here alone in the night.
Building the other half of the house would be adding a tremendous amount of effort and hard work to a project that has already about worn me out. Sometimes I don't know if I could do it. It's too hard. As old as I am just let everything stay the way it is; I don't feel like fooling with it. You know, would it really be worth all the work and sacrifice and making due at my age to have the other half? Most of the time I feel a resounding yes! Yes, if it is done right and not just something thrown together. Yes, if the two halves are actually going to work correctly together and function as one. But no, if the two halves are only going to exists as two separate entities simply joined by a common walk way. I've worked too hard for that also.