Monday, December 07, 2009

Made You Look


Most bloggers keep a site meter on their blog and I'm no exception. I find it somewhat fascinating especially because you can see some details of each person's visit. Now, let me say right here that I can't really tell who is who by each visit, so don't go changing the way you view my blog because I couldn't tell if that's you or not. One of the things I think is kinda funny though, is whenever I put up a picture of myself working on the house (like the one recently of me on the pick board) it gets clicked on like crazy. What are ya'll looking at? Well, now, when I put up the one of me back in the summer, leaning over Lika, I know what you were looking at. At least the guys anyway. lol!
I've always thought it is funny how some bloggers put up pictures of themselves and some you never see. I wonder is that always for privacy issues? Now, I have always had problems with my appearance so don't go thinking that I think I'm all that and that's why I plaster my photo all over this thing. I think I mainly put my photo up to show that I am actually a woman building this house and I'm just an average size person, so I'm not doing anything that most people could not do. I am often called an Amazon woman but I'm only 5'-6" and I weight about 150 lbs.
I guess I'm also somewhat used to being scrutinized on the jobs I go on, so showing my photo here is no biggie. I really have to laugh at some of the double-takes and odd looks I get when some men first see me at work. I actually do my best to blend in with the men by wearing my hair up and not wearing anything that is any way revealing but I guess it still shows some. Which is a good thing because I guess I'd hate to know I could actually pass for a guy!
What pisses me though, is that after the men have seen me work for a while, they often assume that I am a lesbian. Now, I have nothing against lesbians; I've had several friends (male) that were gay and that just is of no issue to me but I'm not gay. It irritates me because of the assumption that a straight, feminine woman cannot be competent in the field. They have to attribute some masculine quality to me in order to accept the fact that I can work. Years ago, I even heard a rumor, in the field, that I used to be a man. That would really piss me if it weren't so damn funny. I mean, I know I'm no beauty queen but I don't think I look anywhere near like a man either. But it's like the Romans coming up with the myths to explain lightning. These men just can't accept that I can swing a sledgehammer that well and then go home and put on that little black dress and make love to a man. I know I'm a little different than a lot of women but it is possible for a woman to be strong and feminine and there is nothing wrong with that. Right? I suspect that it is only men who feel threatened by capable women that make these assumptions but I'm not sure because several women have thought the same thing, or worse. What's up with that? Hey, aren't we supposed to be liberated?
I guess part of it may be also that I don't want to believe that I'm that different than other women. Because that might mean that I really will be alone the rest of my life.

22 comments:

Sissy said...

Go Girl. Tell it like it is. Being liberated does brings its woes; I've been battling for 30 years because of it. I feel good about it though and so do you. Keep it up. We shall overcome.

Pablo said...

I look at that photo of you at the top of this post and wonder: what are the titles of all of those books behind her?

Rich said...

What is wrong with being different?

Embrace your 'different-ness" and you will find that others will too.

edifice rex said...

Hey Sissy! thanks a bunch! you're right.

Hey Pablo! well, let's see...i don't read much fiction so these are mostly instructional books. yes, i read those, i wasn't born knowing how to do all this stuff!

Hey Rich! there is nothing wrong with being different and i always have enjoyed being myself but i have to disagree to one part of that statement. very few people accept others that are very different.

Sissy said...

LOL, as with Pablo, I too wondered about the books. Even tried to zoom in on the titles. Tell us what you read, Annie

HermitJim said...

I would rather have a lady as a partner that could and would be of help around a homestead, than to have a "trophy wife or partner".

Of course, if she were attractive as well...it couldn't hurt!

What I see when I look at your picture is a pretty young lady that just happens to have a lot of talents and training (judging from your house) that I don't!

A talented friend or partner is a blessing...be it male or female! Of course, that's just my opinion, for what it's worth!

Floridacracker said...

THERE ARE BOOKS IN THAT PHOTO?

Dang girl.
Good job.

Alison said...

I agree, it certainly is irritating that a woman who is capable of doing a "man's job" is assumed to be a lesbian. It's also irritating that being a lesbian is assumed to be a masculine quality. Sexual orientation is distinct from gender qualities. We are all a mix of masculine and feminine traits.

myamuhnative said...

LOL at FC!
Annie you look great but Pablo made me click the picture to look at the books too.And hey, is that a snake on the bookcase as well?
I don't think anyone will mistake you as a man so quit worrying :)

BTW the new header is neat!

Beau said...

Ditto to Pablo's comments- I was trying to figure out those book titles! I don't think you're so different... sometimes the circles we walk and work in make it seem that way. It must be frustrating, and- I know, how could I really understand? But I've worked with and for countless strong women, and things were the same either way. Everyone, male or female brings their own gifts and issues to the table. Those who can't see past the innuendos on the job are probably never going to... they probably have sawdust for brains anyway.

edifice rex said...

Hey Sissy! ok!

Hey Jim! thanks sweetie and you are right on, a talented partner is a blessing indeed.

Hey FC! YOU always know how to make me feel better! lol!

Hey Alison! oh yeah, it's irritating all around. I know several lesbians that are much 'girlier' than me. people just make too many assumptions.

Hey Mya! thanks and thanks! well, it does make me feel good that even in the winter when I'm completely bundled up, they can still tell i'm a girl!

HeyBeau! well, you were probably around many strong, capable women in the Navy so I wouldn't be that odd but for some areas and some people, I am. and yeah, a lot of people have sawdust for brains. :D

Sissy said...

That FC! I cracked up with laughter at his comment. We certainly know where his eyes were focused. Right?.

Rurality said...

They probably say you're a lesbian because you're not slobbering after them all day at work! ("Yeah, she's not making eyes at me... must be a lesbian.")

Frugal Canadian Hermit said...

From reading your blog, I have never yet thought of you as being a lezbian. Although, if you were, it would'nt matter either. Personally, I have always liked a girl who was'nt afraid of swinging a hammer and getting a little dirty at times. I usually never underestimate what a women is capable of doing in the work force. However, I have seem some that maybe should have chosen different carreers also, but then, I've also seen alot guys like that too. I do find myself, for one, clicking in on the personal photos when I see them. I'm always kinda curious to see who's writing the blogs and who's building the house. Someday, I might sneak some pictures of me in there, I just don't want to scare everybody away, thats all. lol. Nice picture of you by the way.

Woody said...

I really can't see your adams apple in the photo...good job on the surgery.

Ed said...

Funny how pictures of yourself get more hits than other pictures, even for me and I don't look half as good as the woman in that picture!

Jenn said...

"it is possible for a woman to be strong and feminine and there is nothing wrong with that. "

Yep.

edifice rex said...

Hey Sissy! yep!!

Hey Karen! ha! yeah, some of them. Mainly it's when I say I'm not married; then they think if she don't have a man it's cause she don't like 'em.

Hey Mark! thanks! well, the guys that work right with me have no problem with it and really 90% of all the men are very nice but some of the occasional assumptions really get to me.

Hey Woody! yeah, that doc did a great job, didn't he!

Hey ED! thanks! yeah, I think most people are just curious abut what everybody looks like; just want to put a face with the writing.

Hey Jenn! yep!

Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

Your look delightfull in your little black dress. I would be pleased to take you out to a nice place to eat and the theatre.

I have a stunningly handsome cousin who is an architectural engineer. She administers aspects of large construction jobs. I am sure she turns heads on the construction jobs. She has learned to ignore all that nonsense. She was married briefly to a "work boot" guy and he couldn't handle it. She is single and has a lovely life full of friends and adventures. Be yourself.

We need more women in the trades. I went to trade school late after I had earned two university degrees. I looked around, no women. "Where are the women", I asked, strong defender of feminism myself. There were none among the steamfitters, plumbers, electricians and tin bashers at the school. It was a shame. With the exceptions of pipefitting, the other trades could be managed by women. You could tell the steamfitters they were the ones who looked like they were all into body building, always beat the rest of us up in a friendly hockey game. A woman among that crew would be really a very scary looking womanbeing capable enough to handle the heavy pipes.

Tradesmen these days can read. Enjoy your books. You may even find a fellow on the job who reads and has some ideas beyond the job to share what you read.

The day has passed when tradesmen and women are all muscle and no brain like the lumberjack I worked with who spotted some books in my lunch trailer. "Oh, someone can read. I can read a word", he crowed. "I think I went to school. They were the two longest days in my life.!" Even if he could read he wouldn't be interested in my books on Chinese philosphy and the poetry of Rumi.

Walter Jeffries said...

Well, I didn't make your assumptions and am a guy so there go the correlational links. :) I just wondered why you weren't smiling. So serious. My wife was a cabinet maker when I met her and later worked construction building houses. But she's a big strong woman of Amazonian proportions. I'm the little guy who married her, because she dances so well. :)

Love the (wrought iron?) snake. I see you've been afflicted with snow too. We just got seriously dumped on. Winter's here and our construction pace is slowing.

edifice rex said...

Hey Philip! thank you very much. yes, we do need more women in the trades but they don't seem interested. at least, not in these parts.

Hey Walter! well, most of the guys know I'm not gay and don't assume that I am. Just a few of our subcontractors do when they find out i'm single.
I don't mean to look so serious in my photos; i just hate having them made because i never look decent.
well, our snow is nothing like ya'lls. ours just a delightful short holiday, not a long ordeal as you have to deal with.

countrypeapie said...

I have to laugh because I've clicked on this one three times, but it was only so the chicken and dumplings wouldn't burn! I'm doing my usual catch-up reading, which probably seems a bit stalker-esque from a site meter perspective! You look lovely in your dress. :)