Alright folks, ya''ll can be honest with me....I know my posts lately have been just absolutely boring as hell. I know it, I know it. *sigh* I've just seem to have had a lot on my mind since returning from out west and I've had a heckuva time trying to put those thoughts into words. There are many things that concern me right now and many things that I feel may not need to be put off much longer.
Of course, work is a concern but that may have answered itself. I have heard through the grapevine that the company has gotten a couple of new jobs but whether or not I will be called back remains to be seen. It doesn't look real promising and the issues with my back may help persuade me to seek another way to make a living. In the past I have made a decent living off my art and this may be possible again. Maybe. The economy was in much better shape back then but, on the other hand, the exposure of the Internet was not as available either. I have just seen so many people put off living their life the way they really wanted to in order to work some other job just a little longer, or until they had a certain number of years or whatever and then right about the time they achieved whatever, they dropped dead or something else came up and they never got to do what they really wanted to.
Perhaps I have always fallen back to construction because I fear I will not succeed as an artist or fear the amount of self-promotion that will require. There is a certain amount of comfort in what you already know.
However, I really feel this 'now or never' kinda mood over me. I'm no spring chicken as Daddy Rabbit has reminded me. How long am I going to justify putting off what I claim to be what I want? Did that make sense?
I am thinking more and more these days also, that a more self-sufficient life may be quite prudent. Things are not going well for our country, I don't care what the government or media keeps telling us. Now, I do not consider myself to be a 'doomer' or some such but I do consider myself realistic. The repeated incidents of food supply contamination along with the mounting power of Corp. Food and Big Pharma leaves me a little more than wary of store-bought food and any other industry that claims to have our best interests in mind. I don't want those people dictating what I eat and I don't want to participate in the continuing suffering of animals raised under big corporation standards. Or lack of standards I should say. I've bitched and ranted about all kinds of stuff on here and feel that it is way past time to make a concerted effort to live out what I talk about. I have the resources and I can do better than what I have been doing. Things will not change for us socially or economically until we get involved and quit allowing ourselves to be herded like sheeple to the slaughter. Big Corp. owns our country now and I don't want any part of it. It's going to be a tremendous amount of work for me to turn this place into a working farm but I feel that is what I need to do. Perhaps I will have some help; perhaps not, but it doesn't really matter. As many of us who can need to work against what is happening to our food, our health and happiness.