I know I have pissed and moaned on here numerous times about not being able to find a decent man to partner with and after reading a lot of the comments from that last post, I was deep in thought on the subject this morning as I made my hot tea. I mean, I'm a helluva woman! I shave my legs and even wear make-up when I go out. I'm a certified welder fer goodness sake! What man wouldn't jump at that?! Suddenly, the thought slammed into my head (they do that a lot- probably why I'm addled the way I am); if I didn't struggle with such situations and with building this house myself, I probably wouldn't write about any of the myriad of feelings and situations that I am in and ultimately overcome. Now, many of you have commented or emailed me privately to tell me how much I have encouraged you in similar situations and so on. So, maybe the purpose of my struggling is to shine hope and direction to those out there charting unknown waters. All my life I have gone my own way and done things that women were not encouraged to do but could very well succeed at. And then I thought, "what a pisser of a deal that is!" You all getting all empowered and encouraged and crap and here I am, straining my boobies off trying to hold up a 16' piece of Hardie board by myself! The hell with that! I've had enough. Fly little birdies
Or maybe I will win the lottery....I think my chances are about the same and Alabama doesn't even have a lottery.
Seriously, I do get a little frustrated about things sometimes but I am sure there are reasons for everything, we just are not always informed as to what they are. I also don't want to make it sound as though I see myself as some horrid casualty in the war between the sexes. I might actually feel a little chagrined if you all could see how much I am helped by men I know. The men I work with are just the biggest sweeties in the world and I really couldn't have built this house without them. I mean, they bring me Bobcats. There is probably no situation that could arise that I would not have at least one of them I could call for help. Whether it is 'come get me out of jail' or I need to borrow $300, one of them would be there. It's kinda like having 6 or 8 husbands at once. Except I don't get to sleep with them. Dammit. And I don't have to wash their clothes! What a deal! I am actually quite lucky in a lot of ways. They bring me food or just take me out to eat. They let me borrow any, and I mean any tools or equipment they own. So, even though I don't have a husband, I do have (most) all my needs met and through companionship, having someone to talk to and occasionally helping them with financial matters and that sort of thing, I help them too. Maybe that's not such a bad deal after all, for this particular time in my life.