Sitting Still

Some new wildflowers have popped up recently around the house. I am just continually astounded at how many new varieties I keep finding here. I mean, they are new to me. I especially like this flower. Don't know what it is; does anyone have an idea? I have only found a few of these but hopefully they will continue to reproduce.

Here's a closer view for you. I love the dark blue color too.

In the past week there has also been a slew of these 'shrooms pop up behind the house in the shady areas. Don't worry, I like how they look but don't touch! This is the first year that I remember seeing so many of these also. The tops are bright red when they first sprout up but fade a little as they open up. Still pretty though.
I planned to post sooner but last week I tore the hell out of some muscles in my lower back and so have not been very active lately. It is fairly uncomfortable to sit at the computer for very long. Plus, the doctor gave me some strong muscle relaxers etc. and when I take them I would not be able to write anything that made sense! Not that what I write normally makes sense but anyway. So, this little incident has really driven home the fact that I need to change professions but I am still at a loss on what to do about that. I am looking and researching though.

The BFA read my post (the bad one) and promptly called me up last week to chew me out. But I needed it. I believe that I had rather be afflicted with most anything other than an ungrateful heart and so needed to get over that hissy fast. I am VERY thankful for what I have and know that I have gotten some stuff done this summer. Not what I wanted too but I have done stuff. And yes, I expect too much of myself and am very impatient sometimes. We are so ingrained at work to produce a certain amount of work per day that I think it permeates the rest of your life too. We are literally evaluated on how many linear feet of form work, concrete, trim or what have you that we can run each day and I guess I take that attitude home with me. So what if it is only me here, I should still be able to "make a showing" as we say! A construction worker is taught that we can do anything, and after seeing some of the incredible things we build, out of basically sticks and rocks, I think it is easy to get frustrated over some stupid thing like not being able to finish installing a light fixture or whatever. (the company didn't send all the correct parts)

So, in addition to my back taking a big hit last week, my attitude got smacked too. Friday I had come home from the doctor's office, taken some meds and was trying to relax on the sofa on a heating pad as instructed. So I gathered some magazines and the phone etc. and put them by the couch. I thought I would catch up on some reading and was going through and old issue of Countryside magazine. Great homesteading mag, btw. So, after reading for awhile I found several articles where they were going on about how hard it is for a single woman to do homesteading or have anything like a small farm etc. It was almost impossible etc. So, great, that's depressing; I'll watch TV for a while, something I rarely do. I was flipping through the channels and I came across this program with a young man that was born with no arms or legs and he was going around doing all kinds of stuff and had a really great attitude about life. So, then I feel like the biggest jerk around. I thought, if I could get on the floor, I would just crawl under the rug and stay for a while!
I think when things get bad or out of hand, it is best just to get still and sit quietly to let matters settle. So, I think that is what I'm going to do with my back and the house. Often times if we will just pipe down and relax, things will work themselves out. I've got a couple of small projects I'm working on now that I am going to finish, just kind of chill, and see what happens.

*REM