Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Steppin' Out

Well, I set the last step this morning and then tried to straighten and clean up a bit. I think the steps came out pretty well. They're very sturdy if nothing else. I can be a little OCD about some stuff, insisting on perfectly straight lines and right angles etc. but with this type of material you have to be accepting of a certain, shall we say, organic quality to the work. There are some cracks and the run of the steps vary some, but it is okay. It is what it is. I like the challenge of taking found materials and creating with them as they are. Just making what you were given work, you know. Too bad I have trouble with this philosophy in other parts of my life.
I sit back and look at this, and other stuff I build, and I wonder sometimes why the hell go to so much trouble? Why didn't I just put the house where I wouldn't have needed a retaining wall for parking? Why not just build a regular house and be done with it? Just go to Lowe's and buy their stock cabinets or whatever, stick it in and go on with my life? It occurred to me today that perhaps it is vanity. Pure vanity just to prove to somebody that I can do this. I don't know who and I've built enough over the years that I don't think I really have more to prove.
I was so sore last night when I went to bed, I figured I would go right to sleep but I couldn't. I hurt all over. It would have been nice to have had a warm, male body to lie against. Maybe that would have helped me sleep, like a heating pad, you know. But the guys at work, and others, tell me that my doing stuff like this is intimidating to men and that I scare them off. This is not my opinion, mind you. This is what men have told me. It's emasculating for men to see that I can do this and don't need a man to help me. Maybe so, I don't know. I know I can see that look though, when I tell some guy I've met that I built my own house. And that is not something I am quick to say, believe me. But the look that says, "this woman's delusional and if she's telling the truth, she's psychotic."
Oh, sorry I'm in a kinda crappy mood. Well, not really crappy, just weird. Maybe I am insane and don't know it. They say that if you really are nuts, that you think you're fine. Hhhmm. Well, maybe one day I can find a way to have this land turned into a park and all the little kids can sit around and tell stories about this crazy lady that built all this! lol! And every once in a while she would lure some unsuspecting man back into the woods and ...... okay, okay enough of that! ha! Time to go visit Cat Daddy this weekend.


*Joe Jackson

12 comments:

Ed Abbey said...

I've been trying to comment but haven't been able to get through a few days. All I have wanted to say is that it is very obvious to me how you obtained your "guns."

Personally, I find women who can do stuff like that attractive. Maybe I say that because I'm not in the construction trade where I have to do that for a living.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Amazing crazy lady! Bravo! A monument to your talent and verve. I love the stairs!

Richard said...

Great looking steps. I'm stiff and sore just looking at the pictures.

It must be that talented women intimidate southern men cause this old northern boy finds you impressive.

Floridacracker said...

It's the artist/craftswoman heart that makes you do all that.

You can just skip over any wienies that are intimidated by a talented,skilled woman.

The steps came out great by the way.

edifice rex said...

Hey Ed! Glad you finally got through! One comment did show up several posts back but did not show up in my email for some reason. Anyway, yes, most people assume I work out in the gym a lot or something like that but, not so. This work is enough!
I do get men that find me attractive but it the approaching that's the problem. I hear this from other men.

Hey Bonnie! thank you, thank you! it's a monument to my nuttiness!

Hey Richard! thanks! lol!
you know, I think the north/south thing is part of it. I have dated several men from outside the south and they do have a different attitude about such things.

Hey FC! I guess so; that's what I'm going to tell myself anyway!

Yeah, wienies! lol!

thanks!

Maya said...

Wow, that is absolutely beautiful! I don't suppose you can take your machine there on the road, huh? Cause I have a few projects...

I continue to be amazed at all of your skills.

countrypeapie said...

I think you are insane and don't know it.

Not!

Truly breathtaking wall. Bummed that I missed the BCB gathering tonight.

Woody said...

What a totally awesome project!

"You can just skip over any wienies that are intimidated by a talented,skilled woman." Ha...she said step over wienies...I can be soooo juvenile!

Sis said...

This project looks great! Just keep on keepin' on, Annie. Can't wait to see your next endeavor. Just amazing - you are!

Those guys who are intimidated by your talents and abilities aren't worthy of you. Can't you see this is a problem of theirs, not yours.

The time is gone of "crinoline and lace" and this fact must be faced by the male human race.

You are a very admirable lady. Just try to not overdo in the work. You have a long life ahead and it requires strength and stamina to keep on keepin' on and all good things come to those who wait.

And btw, I do believe strongly in premonitions and precognitive dreams.

I was told once by the FBI: Always follow your intuition! When I(Ego)overrule, trouble comes.

Hang in there, Gal. Very good things are in your future as they are now in your present.

edifice rex said...

Hey Maya! Good to hear from you! Thanks a bunch!
I wish I could haul Tachie around! We'd have some fun! If I have to walk him though, we'll be there in about 20 years! lol!

Hey Pea! Not not! I am! hehe!
thanks and we missed you!

Hey Woody! thanks, man!
Ha! weinies!! I'll say it again! Better to step over 'em than to step on 'em I guess! ha! dang woody, you make me act so juvenile!

Hey Sis!! Glad you're back! thanks so much for ALL your words! Yeah, it's their problem but I'm no big scary!
And yes, the premonitions have caught my attention too. who knows?!

Jenn said...

I am in such awe in the beauty of what you create. True Craftmanship is a lost art. Making do and making it beautiful.

edifice rex said...

Hey Jenn! well, thanks so much. I really appreciate that.